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Hex 19 unchanging - love predictions

MethodNix

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Hello, everyone! I'm in a real need of help interpreting my latest Yi answer. I have my thoughts and doubts, but I would really love to hear different opinions.

So, the question was "What will happen with X and me in the next few days?"

A little bit of background... He's a love interest of mine and I think it's mutual, but both of us seem to have doubts and need to explore the relationship more. We have been texting and face timing and we know it's time to meet. Opportunity seems to have come to meet in the next few days and I'm a bit nervous to find out if we really have a chance for a future together!

The meaning of approaching and all the positives set out in the hex seem good for the situation, but the misfortune in the "eight month" worries me. Bolfeld says that eight month correlates with September, and the curiosity is that there is a chance he might move really far away around that time.

Is the warning really that blunt as in the exact month or is the whole reading just "It goes well until it doesn't"?

Please let me know if you have any thoughts on the reading. I need some encouragement to face reality.

Thank you!
 
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diamant

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Hi MethodNix,

What will happen with X and me in the next few days? 19 uc / unchanging

19 means approach.
But not just any type of approach, and it comes with a warning, as you already know.

In 19, the female occupies the higher position (earth is above). The male, however, is gaining strength, and is approaching the female (two male lines at the bottom, heading upwards). The situation is good now that the female is above - the raised earth is surrounding and protecting the lake below, helping the lake to grow and flourish. The male is the one who needs to move towards the female, and must do so with moderation and righteoussness. It has to do so gradually. It's a delicate situation.

19 unchanging is a time when one (or, the male) needs to act and set to work. The role of the male here is to approach the female gradually. The misfortune of the 8th month comes suddenly (the character shows a bird swiftly swooping down towards the ground). The Judgement and the Image do not clearly specify if the misfortune can be avoided, or averted, or not.

In any case, your question was not about the overall prospects, but only about the next few days.
In conclusion, in the next few days let him be the one to approach, and keep a watchful eye. If he deviates from propriety, make sure to tell him to return to propriety.
 

rosada

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19. Image:
Approach the meeting as a responsible adult.
- Hilary
 

dfreed

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What will happen with X and me in the next few days? 19 us.
It seems to me that at least some of 'what will happen' is up to you two: if you both decide to meet, then you'll meet - that's what will 'happen' to you. And if you decide to not meet ...?

As to relationship potential, 19 reads, "Until the eighth moon, disastrous." For me this is 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' advice. You need to actually meet first, and then let the relationship grow - in the same way you can't harvest rice a month after you've plant it. You need to wait until it grows and matures (and you need to weed it, care for it ....) and then - in/around the eight month - you get rice to harvest.
 

rosada

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Yeah, you aren't asking for anything, you're not offering anything, you're simply meeting someone with an open mind. Jumping the gun, trying to make this into something rather than just using it as an opportunity to get to know each other better would be a mistake. After all, if you realize the two or you aren't suitable it may be that he has a friend...
 

MethodNix

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Hi, everyone!

In any case, your question was not about the overall prospects, but only about the next few days.
In conclusion, in the next few days let him be the one to approach, and keep a watchful eye. If he deviates from propriety, make sure to tell him to return to propriety.
That's a good point. I'm trying to be careful with my questions, but I've always wandered what if I ask one thing but in the back of my mind is a wider situation (question)... Does Yi know what I'm aiming at even if I'm not fully aware?

19. Image:
Approach the meeting as a responsible adult.
- Hilary
Yeah, you aren't asking for anything, you're not offering anything, you're simply meeting someone with an open mind. Jumping the gun, trying to make this into something rather than just using it as an opportunity to get to know each other better would be a mistake. After all, if you realize the two or you aren't suitable it may be that he has a friend...
I know I sound childish with the "are we there yet?" type of question, but I let myself go while asking, because if it's something I care about, what's the point in hiding it from Yi (if there's even any hiding possible). We would be exploring "the thing" but we already discussed the "relationship department" so there are some expectations.
And I agree. The plan is to go with the flow while prepared for any situation.

As to relationship potential, 19 reads, "Until the eighth moon, disastrous." For me this is 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' advice. You need to actually meet first, and then let the relationship grow - in the same way you can't harvest rice a month after you've plant it. You need to wait until it grows and matures (and you need to weed it, care for it ....) and then - in/around the eight month - you get rice to harvest.
Again, I agree - trying not to expect just one thing.
But I'm still confused with "the warning". Can the metaphor of harvest be disastrous?
Maybe the meeting will be mediocre and I'll harvest such results, or it'll seem to go well but I'd harvest the negatives later.

Thanks to everyone for their input! Means a lot to me.
I'll keep you posted with the outcome if you're interested :)
 

dfreed

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But I'm still confused with "the warning". Can the metaphor of harvest be disastrous?
I only see it as advice to let things 'ripen' in their own time. For me, what's disastrous here is not giving yourself enought time for the crop (relationship) to mature.

Remember, you only asked 'what will happen' between you two, and the response could simply mean ...

... 'you will meet if you decide that's what you want to do, and you therefore have the potential to take this further'.

I think things will go well, I just don't think it's wise to turn a first meeting into 'deep, passionate love'. That's more like harvesting before you've even planted anything!
 
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diamant

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we already discussed the "relationship department" so there are some expectations
So you have already told each other that you are both after a long-term relationship?
That would be an excellent starting point, and I hope you're both honest.
That doesn't mean that you want a relationship with each other - you just stated your goals.

It's good to know your goals, and keep a firm eye on them.
Now is the time to explore if this person can offer you what you want or not.
If he can not, be careful not to fall into the trap of accepting something you didn't initially want.

The question was about the next few days, so the answer is about that.
19 is unchanging here, so proceed with continued caution - definitely don't blindly jump into it.
If you see any major red flags, be ready and prepared to stop the whole thing.

Good luck and please do keep us posted!
 

MethodNix

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Ok, since this was a short term question, I can post the actual result and once again see how wise and true Yi is.

So, we decided not to meet. Although you guys said the male should initiate, I did the opposite. He got scared, and I agreed or respected the decision. It happened really sudden within the conversation - like the image of the bird that was mentioned. It's kind of a breakup and well, I thought that was it.

Then I asked Yi a new question - "What's the best course of action for me in this situation with X?" And since you guys are already in the loop, I'll ask for your help again...

I got 39.1.3 to 3.

Oh, why did I ask? Why is Yi raising my hopes again? It's hard but promising answer. Or am I interpreting it wrong?
 
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diamant

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Sorry to hear it's not turning out as you had hoped for.

What's the best course of action for me in this situation with X?
39.1.3 > 3


39.1 you can see that the road ahead is blocked, so you need to back off.
39.3 proceeding is difficult, while backing off is the opposite.
3 chaos and confusion, difficulties.

So it sounds like you need to back off, and it won't be pleasant to you.
If he does approach you, then you'll need to pretend all the above.
Definitely don't behave as "oh, what a wonderful thing that you're coming back to me".
And I'm saying that as a hypothetical footnote, if he approaches you.
In any case, your best course of action is to back off and not initiate anything.
 

rosada

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Aw, MeathodNix. So sorry for this disappointment!

What's the best course of action for me in this situation with X?
39.1.3 >3

I'm trying to give a humorous answer here but I'm only half kidding ...

One of the draw backs of studying the I Ching I've found, is that now everything in your life seems to be fair game for teaching you the oracle. By that I mean it seems like while in one's pre I Ching days one might have coasted for years enjoying a gentle slumber, oblivious to the lessons in life while the angels diligently softened the blows and protected you from all your blunders, but consult the oracle and suddenly you're responsible! "No more protection for you kid," says The Universe, " You asked to know so now ignorance of The Path is no longer an excuse."

In this case, 19. specifically told you to let things develop slowly, but did you? Nope, so..WHAMO, back to square one - aka hexagram 3. In pre-IC time your eagerness to meet might have gone unremarked and you might have gone on for years not realizing how you sabotage yourself in life by expecting too much too soon. But now you've connected to the oracle which means you've told the Universe, "I wish to be taught how to behave!" and thus when you ask the I Ching for guidance...well, all I can say is it's dangerous not to follow it.

So I think you're going to just have to suck it up on this one. 39.1 leave the guy alone. 39.3 Move forward in a new direction. And when the next relationship opportunity comes along give it all the time it needs to 3. sort out any confusion.

(Another possible interpretation could be that as you leave him alone HE then can act as initiator thus sorting out any confusion as to whether he wants this friendship to develop. Still the advice is that meanwhile you remain silent and be looking to moving on with your life.)
 
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