Hexagram 27.1.3

[capri]

I and my husband are having trouble in our marriage--and have not been on a good husband wife terms for sometime now. I asked the question "can our relationship ever work" and I got hexagram 27 with 1 and 3 changing. What does it signify???

 

[willowfox]

"can our relationship ever work" and I got hexagram 27 with 1 and 3

You are trying to give up your independence by hanging on, you see what other couples have and you want the same but that is not possible and it would only lead to bigger troubles, you need to go your own way. You are depending too much on making this relationship work, and it is causing you to be unhappy, it is time for a change, you need to break free. So, it can't last if you are sensible.

 

[dobro p]

I and my husband are having trouble in our marriage--and have not been on a good husband wife terms for sometime now. I asked the question "can our relationship ever work" and I got hexagram 27 with 1 and 3 changing. What does it signify???

I'm taking a completely different direction than Willowfox in my interpretation (this is pretty rare).

I see the trouble in your marriage as due to negative attitudes on the part of both of you that refuses to look for, or see, what's good and positive in the marriage. See, Hex 27 is about good nutrition and it's about *looking for* quality nutrition. Of course, you have to understand that 'nutrition' goes beyond physical eating here - in the context of a marriage 'good nutrition' means 'feeding' yourself positive impressions - seeing what's good in the other person, seeing what's good in the marriage, seeing what's good in yourself - that sort of thing. It's a cosmic law that energy follows attention - whatever you pay attention to for any length of time starts to have energy flowing through it, and it becomes stronger. So if you feed your mind impressions of what's right with the marriage, and what's right about him, and what's good about you, those things will become stronger. The reason I think that those positive attitudes are lacking in the marriage is cuz (well, cuz you SAID the marriage was problematic for both of you) and also cuz 27.1 shows a situation in which good nutrition is available, but you think it isn't and you're all miserable about it and looking to someone else to supply it. And also cuz 27.3 is also about a situation in which good nutrition is being rejected. In both 27.1 and 27.3, a mistake is being made, an error of judgement. That's what's at work in your marriage right now - errors of judgement and a diet of too much perceived negativity - you probably see each other as the problem.

Okay, that's the picture, but you asked: "Can our relationship ever work?" The answer is 'yes, but it's going to take a ton of work'. How? Well, see what I said above about looking for and cultivating positive attitudes. Do you want to do that work? Does he? It's really easy to find resources inside your hearts and outside the marriage as well if both of you want to work toward this. But you've got to SEE it and you've got to WANT it.

Finally, and most interestingly, you drew Hex 52 as a relating hexagram. Hex 52 has two general aspects inside the overall meaning - one meaning is to make things very still, and the other meaning is to meditate (which is inner stillness). I don't know what it means. Do you? Is the Yi telling you to hold this in the stillness of your heart and listen to what it tells you? Is the Yi telling you to 'still' the marriage for a while? I have no idea. What does it suggest to you?

 

[capri]

hex 26.1.3

You are right Willowfox , what you have said is something I am fighting against very hard to accept since separation is painful for me /our child--who I want to have a father by her side when she is growing up. Infact I am staying with him now more for our child then for myself. This fact is painful only emotionally--I am very independent financially but i need to accept it and be strong.

Dobro- Thanks for your insights and you are right our marriage needs tons of work and it can be saved if both can do that tons of work. I am ready to do what ever to save the marriage but my husband just does not want to and refuses to even talk about it and gives me a very vary hard time when i try to discuss it.
I was thinkiing on the questions

one meaning is to make things very still---- I am taking it as continue with the way things are---i.e both hardly talking to each other to maintain the sanity ---just going by the humdrum of our everyday life without any husband wife relationship,, without any connection----If i do that I will keep on living with a husband who is NOT a husband.

and the other meaning is to meditate (which is inner stillness).--Meditation gives me the answer which Willowfox gave which is so difficult ---but sad the truth.