Hexagram 44 - "Coupling" and Adultery?

[troubadour]

My cousin’s husband is making a fool of himself over another woman. He has been a good partner to my cousin and father to their sons but his head seems to have been turned by an admittedly pretty though hardfaced and moody woman who appears to have a certain way with men. He has worked for a prestigious organization and is a writer of articles in specialist publications. She has a partner, who does not seem terribly bright, and sons of her own. I think she has used my cousin's husband as a contact in hopes of getting ahead and now, having realized that he is smitten with her, is prepared to take things as far as she can. Since meeting this woman he has become preoccupied and rather vain and absent to my cousin, except when he tries to compensate with bursts of affection which make him seem quite guilty to me. I have found that he has also set up a Facebook account, where he uses a picture of himself and my cousin as his avatar. Nothing wrong with that, you might say. But he has only one friend. Yes, the Other Woman. He has posted only one picture on it – of himself with his children and without my cousin posted on a recent holiday. The only person who would see the picture is the Other Woman. Am I wrong to find this odd? My cousin seems to be noticing that something is up but still loves and trusts the man entirely. Anyway, I cast the I-Ching to ask “what is the nature of the connection between X and Y” and the result was ominous enough for me to turn to you all for counsel – it was Hexagram 44.2.5.6 . This seems to be pretty strongly saying in a blunt way that the relationship is sexual (coupling) and/or that he is either in or about to get into a sexual affair. It also seems to say, according to some of the things I have read, there is a risk of pregnancy (line 2 and 5) but that someone (my cousin or her husband?) will be humiliated and it won’t last (line 6). I think that is what "horns" means, an old term for a cuckold? Please consider the above and let me have your views. I don’t want to see events develop in a way which will cause great hurt and want to think about what to do next. He is silly and vain and the Other Woman is a little gold-digger with a sweet smile. If there are alternative explanations or interpretations I would like to hear them. Thank you in advance.

 

[troubadour]

Please excuse me rushing into this post without greeting everyone first and saying thank you to Hilary for this site. Also please excuse me for sounding irritable and judgemental. It's hard not to be. I am not normally like this. It's just worry about this issue. Any comments insights or advice from experience or the I-Ching will be respectfully appreciated. Thanks again.

 

[pocossin]

What is the nature of the connection between the cousin's husband and the other woman?
44.2.5.6 > 62

The casting as a whole suggests that the bird will fly. That is, the other woman will abandon your cousin's husband. In spite of the suggestion of the line imagery, if the woman sees the man as a stepping stone, she is unlikely to desire children by him. Although you may be indignant at the wrong done to your cousin, line 6 advises against any intervention.

He has posted only one picture on it – of himself with his children and without my cousin posted on a recent holiday.

Maybe your cousin took the picture.

 

[troubadour]

Thank you Pocossin for such an incisive answer. It helps, calmed me down - and cut me down a little to size. I usually dislike displays of righteous indignation and you have poured some cold water on mine. Thank you again. I will abide by your wise advice and will not discuss my concerns with my cousin unless the situation changes dramatically. And even then I will turn to you first.

Please will you apply your mind to these follow-up queries?

1) I understand why you feel she will not fall pregnant and will move on (fly like the bird of 62) but don't understand why the I-Ching would use the imagery of pregnancy twice in this case?

2) I believe that my cousin did take the photograph but don't understand why her husband posted it for his only "friend" except because he is trying to show off in some way?

As I hope you can see I have calmed down but remain perplexed! Your further thoughts - and those of other contributors will be welcome.

 

[pocossin]

1) I . . . don't understand why the I-Ching would use the imagery of pregnancy twice in this case?

Lines 2 and 5 do not inherently indicate pregnancy, else it would be impossible to apply them in situations where pregnancy cannot be at issue.

2) I believe that my cousin did take the photograph but don't understand why her husband posted it for his only "friend" except because he is trying to show off in some way?

The picture suggests that he values his children, another indication that he will not leave your cousin.

 

[troubadour]

Thank you, I can see that good old common sense is as important in interpretation of the I-Ching as it is everywhere else.

It hit hard that you accepted the relationship is sexual, I cast again for confirmation on the same question and this time the result was 57.3 to 59.

57.3 I read as a rap on the knuckles for going over the ground again:

"Nine in the third place means:
Repeated penetration. Humiliation.

Penetrating reflection must not be pushed too far, lest it cripple the power of
decision. After a matter has been thoroughly pondered, it is essential to form
a decision and to act. Repeated deliberation brings fresh doubts and scruples,
and thereby humiliation, because one shows oneself unable to act."

59 makes me wonder if the marriage will last when the other woman does "fly away"....


I still have misgivings about possible pregnancy too, no telling what people can be capable of doing.

About the photograph, yes he does love the children and I don't think it has sunk in how they will be hurt. I still don't understand why he poses with the children in that photo and my cousin in the avatar unless he is trying to play a clever game and make it all seem to be on the level. Having his cake and eating it.

I will keep clear but feel it's a matter of time before all these things come out in the wash.

Thank you once more.

 

[ginnie]

I think she has used my cousin's husband as a contact in hopes of getting ahead and now, having realized that he is smitten with her, is prepared to take things as far as she can.

I think her primary interest in him is work-related. Since he has such excellent credentials, she is seeking to cement a relationship with him to boost her own professional status. They may even work on something together, and that would explain that 44.5. But these two will also rebuff each other physically, and the action of 44.6 is usually quite brusque and definite. I don't think you need to be afraid of pregnancy.

Regarding your watching what he's doing with his Facebook page, I think you're letting your imagination run away with you. Look at other people's Facebook pages and you'll see that lord only knows what people are thinking about as they go about posting this and posting that.

 

[troubadour]

Thank you Ginnie! You made me smile about Facebook, it is such a silly place sometimes. And I am smiling too at the thought of them rebuffing each other, it confirms the wisdom of staying on the sidelines. And it confirms the wisdom of the I-Ching. They are an odd pair who make an odd combination and if it weren't for my cousin I should say maybe they deserve each other! Perhaps the "horns" refer to "horny" people who should know better.