Home Sweet Home - 32, no changing lines

[grace heart]

Hello everyone,

When I moved into this flat just under a year ago, my upstairs neighbour was as welcoming as can be, before suddenly and without any provocation she started to behave as what can only be described as a bully (stomping and shouting about in the middle of the night, slamming of the doors, leaving her dog outside to bark, and - worst of all! - leaving her wheelie bin outside my kitchen window every Friday, our rubbish collection day, even though - and especially after I asked her to please not do that). She wouldn't speak to me, but has gone straight to our mutual landlord and called me a troublemaker (moi?). The man only wants his rent, so prefers sitting on a fence to taking sides. Besides, they know each other, as she had been living here for 8 years, seeing quite a few families move in and out in the process (and now I understand why).

I could move, yes, but there seems to be a pattern long emerging when it comes to creating and enjoying my own home/ personal space (from my mother moving her bed into my bedroom when I was about 7, to our family house burning down in the war, to 18 months of noisy neighbours legal nightmare and no own bedroom for 3 years in our previous flat - and now this...) Hand on heart, I am not out there looking for a fight - quite on contrary, it is my mission in life to find, create, manifest, whatever.... and totally relax into a happy and harmonious home! But something's stopping me, and I don't seem to be able to grow around this particular obstacle.

So after a particularly ego-driven couple of days (she's left her bin there for a second day... I moved it, she moved it back under my window... I then remembered to under no circumstances make this fight mine, but the anger was already twisting my insides), I asked the Book of Changes for more insight about T. leaving her bin outside my kitchen window.

It came up with hexagram 32, Lasting.

All further insight much appreciated.

 

[bamboo]

Oh my. It doesnt seem very promising to get 32 about a situation you do not want to continue. the crabby woman seems determined to upset you. I do not fault you at all for this making your insides twist, it sounds like a dreadful situation. For some reason, by your account of the history, it seems you are continually attracting very similar situations, and as unfair as it may sound, - and I know it sounds unfair!- it would probably be to your benefit to find out what it is in you that is drawing this to you. you mention that you are interested in creating and manifesting....and that is hopeful, because sometimes when one gets onto the path of manifesting and creating, the ugly things manifest first, almost as if they are coming up to say "Fix this vibration!It stinks!" we all have the hidden vibrations, and it is useful to learn about them, even when it seems unrelated to our conscious intentions. In this case, it could be maybe you need to search out the feelings you harbor that tell you your space will inevitably be unpleasntly intruded upon, and replace it with strong thoughts about the fact that you deserve respect and considerate boundaries.

I guess there are two courses of action, or three if you count moving again. One would be to 'throw yourself at her mercy", iow go and talk to her from your heart and tell her how much you want peace and couldnt you both please find a place to put her bin that would be mutually convenient. ask her straight out why she sees you as a troublemaker and ask if there is any way you two could find harmony.

the second: accept her unpleasantness, pray for her, and keep your kitchen window closed and curtained until Tuesdays.

maybe you could ask the YI what is the best attitude for you to take towrds this woman for now.
Best of luck. I know how annoying neighbors can be!

 

[gato]

this kind of ppl behave themselves only if they are afraid... i guess is a some kind of territorial threat display. ask the oracle what is best for you to do: slap her twice or stand your ground (32 - could mean this)

 

[grace heart]

Many thanks for your thoughts.

This is a big one for me, and I expect I can now only continue doing what I've been doing so far: turning the situation over to the Powers that be (through gritted teeth, but so be it), placing pretty objects, fairy lights and such inside and outside my window, blessing us all and yes, talking to you sweet people and the Book of Change... Could this be what 32 means in this case?... Anyway, I will do my best to believe in and wait for helping hand from above which will heal and transform the lower energies involved into Light. It's been done before, you know

Hope you're all enjoying your Sunday.

 

[bradford]

There's a little bit of irony in the title of 32, whether it's translated as lasting or duration. The texts themselves, Tuan and Da Xiang, describe an adaptive process. Things can't last by not changing. Worthwhile to have somewhere to go.

 

[jfas]

Interesting problem. I wonder if Gato's comment that 32 could be telling you to stand your ground has merit. It seems to me the I Ching could have found a better way of telling you that.

Hex 32 is a positive hexagram, in my opinion. It probably is speaking to what you are seeking in your home environment: endurance, continuity - and to manifest that.

Outside of I Ching advice, I would tell you to approach your landlord once again, in a very friendly, lighthearted way and ask him again to ask her not to do that. Gato's comment that she is acting from some insecurity of her own is a good thing to keep in mind.

Here's also a new age/positive thinking trick to try, called the pivot technique: Remember that you get what you focus on, so if you focus (in your mind) on those times or qualities when your neighbour is (or has been) quiet and nice and considerate, you will begin to encourage more of that in her. You don;t have to pretend she's nice or that you like her, you just have to remember or imagine those times when she was nice and considerate.

When you see the garbage bin, instead of focusing on its negative presence, pivot your thinking into thinking how nice it is when the bin is not there, and how nice it will be when the bin is no longer there and how much you like your window space clean and pretty and fresh smelling. Mentally picture the space outside your window as clean and obstruction free and just how you like it, and intend it to be that way -- but in a gentle way. Just in your thoughts. Not in a forceful way where you start getting angry again. It may take some time for the visualizing to manifest itself in reality.

The other thing you could do at some later point, only when you feel inspired though, is to invite her in for tea or whatever to catch up and re-establish friendly relations. But I would suggest not doing this with any ulterior purpose or motivation other than a genuine desire for friendship or neighbourliness. (i.e., don't do it right now, just to try to get her to change her behaviour).

 

[pocossin]

I asked the Book of Changes for more insight about T. leaving her bin outside my kitchen window.
It came up with hexagram 32, Lasting.

"leaving her wheelie bin outside my kitchen window every Friday" -- T. has apparently found a way to annoy you and is enjoying it. If the wheelie bin blocks your view through the window or if an odor comes through the window, your landlord is responsible to see that this stops, and you should explain (Xun) and thunder (Zhen) to the landlord. If you do not stand up for your rights, you have no rights.

I do not understand the full situation. Is the area under your window a common use area? Or are you responsible for it? That is, do you rent and clean that area? If you do, the wheelie bin is a trespass, and you are probably entitled to seize it and charge for its storage. Could you put an obstacle there? Or plant a garden? If the area is for common use and if T. was instructed by the landlord to place the wheelie bin there or if T. has been putting the wheelie bin there for 8 years, you may have no recourse but to endure it. Where does your wheelie bin go? Why isn't there a designated area for wheelie bins?

 

[bamboo]

what is a wheelie bin, anyway? is it aka a garbage pail on wheels?

 

[pocossin]

what is a wheelie bin, anyway? is it aka a garbage pail on wheels?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheelie_bin#Wheelie_bins

 

[grace heart]

There's a little bit of irony in the title of 32, whether it's translated as lasting or duration. The texts themselves, Tuan and Da Xiang, describe an adaptive process. Things can't last by not changing. Worthwhile to have somewhere to go.

Thank you. I absolutely accept the need to change - starting with myself, my own attitudes, and so on.
But, what does it actually mean, "worthwhile to have somewhere to go"? Does it mean literally not to hang around home too much at present?

 

[grace heart]

Interesting problem. I wonder if Gato's comment that 32 could be telling you to stand your ground has merit. It seems to me the I Ching could have found a better way of telling you that.

Hex 32 is a positive hexagram, in my opinion. It probably is speaking to what you are seeking in your home environment: endurance, continuity - and to manifest that.

Outside of I Ching advice, I would tell you to approach your landlord once again, in a very friendly, lighthearted way and ask him again to ask her not to do that. Gato's comment that she is acting from some insecurity of her own is a good thing to keep in mind.

Thank you. I very much appreciate your views on this. Will try the pivot method, what a lovely suggestion (and yes, it's going to be hard overcoming my own fears attached to this situation).

Hope you're having a very good day.

 

[grace heart]

I asked the Book of Changes for more insight about T. leaving her bin outside my kitchen window.
It came up with hexagram 32, Lasting.

"leaving her wheelie bin outside my kitchen window every Friday" -- T. has apparently found a way to annoy you and is enjoying it. If the wheelie bin blocks your view through the window or if an odor comes through the window, your landlord is responsible to see that this stops, and you should explain (Xun) and thunder (Zhen) to the landlord. If you do not stand up for your rights, you have no rights.

I do not understand the full situation. Is the area under your window a common use area? Or are you responsible for it? That is, do you rent and clean that area? If you do, the wheelie bin is a trespass, and you are probably entitled to seize it and charge for its storage. Could you put an obstacle there? Or plant a garden? If the area is for common use and if T. was instructed by the landlord to place the wheelie bin there or if T. has been putting the wheelie bin there for 8 years, you may have no recourse but to endure it. Where does your wheelie bin go? Why isn't there a designated area for wheelie bins?

Thank you for taking time to comment.

T. lives upstairs, with the entrance to her flat to the side of the building - she needs to walk past my front door (and the kitchen window) to get there. Therefore this makes it officially a communal area. Her 2 bins usually live tucked away next to her own entrance, but every Friday she wheels one out for collection, then leaves the other one in front of my kitchen window because this makes it more convenient for her. Also, it often doesn't go back at the end of the day, but remains there for the weekend (it was left there over the entire Christmas period, which was a shame...) I have asked T. if she would please not do this, so I don't have to look at her bin as I chop my vegetables, which was the point she suddenly turned what I can only described as nasty, called me "silly and ridiculous", increased the noise coming up from upstairs, and of course left the bin outside again...

As we're both mothers living alone with our children I couldn't let go of this vision of having an easy relationship of mutual understanding and support with T., so I have asked her in for a cup of tea and a chat when I recently bumped into her. She told me that if I want to chat, I should chat to the landlord (it IS funny, I can see that).To top it all off, when I moved into this flat with my children, I had to sign something called Section 21 - a legal document that gives a landlord the right to evict you without having to give a reason... T. knows this, as I naively told her about some time ago, and it was as knowing this gave her the permission to start behaving as a bully. She really needn't fear me, but I feel it is not my job to make her less fearful. I'm done with reassuring.

I have asked I Ching about writing a letter to landlord about this. It came up with 5, changing line 5, and 11. Obviously, I understand and welcome hexagram 11, but am not sure about the meaning of hexagram 5. Do I need to wait some more? Or have a waited plenty long enough, and don’t want to miss the auspicious opening to ask for my rights?

As I said in my original post, the only reason I'm going on about a wheelie bins and such is because there certainly seems to be a pattern when it comes to my own personal space and boundaries - or the lack of it. And I can assure you, you wouldn't think that if you saw me - it only seem to happen when it comes to my own home turf.

Many thanks to all who read and comment. Much appreciated.