How should I deal with this friend? Hexagram 55.4.5

[giraffecloud]

A few months ago I fell out with a woman who I know that when she falls out with a friend, she will say cruel things and reveal secrets behind the backs about anybody she falls out with. Recently a mutual friend, tagged her in a post that made a cruel statement about someone that they made a point of not naming. My immediate thought is that the mutual friend is referring to somebody on her Facebook friends list, so possibly me?


Looking at the interpretation "no time to mourn" tells me that the woman I have fallen out with, is not worth my time.
Line 4 says "meeting with the hidden lord, good fortune". After looking at other threads with this result, I asked myself if it's just me being my own worst enemy and the good fortune comes from not reacting to it.
Line 5, I'm not sure about.
The concluding hexagram 63 says "Already across". Is this a reference to the current state of the relationship? The mutual friend has taken sides but being two-faced about it? Should I confront the mutual friend? What if I left it too late? Then the concluding question is "how can you best defend yourself?". I'm not sure about that.

 

[rosada]

How should I deal with this friend?
55 is about everything coming out in the open so I encourage you to talk to the mutual friend.

 

[giraffecloud]

OK, thanks I'll give that a try and let you know how I get on.

 

[redoleander]

I was curious to read about this Hex and found LiSe's explanation relating so directly to your inquiry! Not sure if you've already read these but:

Hex.55

www.yijing.nl

6 at 5: The pattern emerges, bringing reward and praise. Auspicious
For leading the battle, any battle, you will have to show yourself, your pattern. Only then others will coöperate, and only then your direction will be clear and strong. When that emerges, nobody and nothing will be able to stop you.
If you are not the leader, then make sure you follow one with a clear goal and a strong ethic.
(Changes to hex.49) Mirror

9 at 4: Feng was so obscured at noon the Dipper was seen. Meeting the lord of Yi, auspicious.
With little light and little insight, it is a blessing to meet someone who knows more or has more experience. Don't listen to your own conjectures or fear, but ask for advice, look for signs, don't discard what just seem minor details.
(Changes to hex.36) Mirror

I would read these as suggesting to ask an impartial/wise person you know for advice on how to handle this, possibly talk to the mutual friend (*if* you trust them, but if you don't... I wouldn't go to the mutual friend first. I'd go to others first, lay it all out in the open, and sort of gather some support on your own side, then directly address it all) Good luck <3

 

[giraffecloud]

Yesterday I sent the mutual friend a message asking her about the post. She said it was about her ex boyfriend (who she does have many mutual friends with) so that made sense. She also said that she didn't realise that I fallen out with the woman in question then she apologised for causing me to feel distressed. I believe what she has to say. I could ask other mutual friends but I'm not sure if I'm too late.

 

[redoleander]

Yesterday I sent the mutual friend a message asking her about the post. She said it was about her ex boyfriend (who she does have many mutual friends with) so that made sense. She also said that she didn't realise that I fallen out with the woman in question then she apologised for causing me to feel distressed. I believe what she has to say. I could ask other mutual friends but I'm not sure if I'm too late.

It sounds like Rosada gave a good interpretation and you did the right thing.

 

[giraffecloud]

Thanks, I do feel Rosada's advice was best. Not only do I see things more clearly now but things have opened up for the mutual friend as well.