How to ask the right questions

[livingdaylight]

Over the years I've dipped into the I-ching, but never for very long as answers have always felt ambiguous and was not able to relate the lines or the commentaries to my question(s). "Crossing a great river"?
Plus, if I asked the same question over and over would I not get a different answer with each role of the dice? That may be a different issue, but, touches on my ambiguity on the validity of any type of oracle work as well.

Life has once again brought me to a painful place, as I freefall through the abyss, where it would be great to have answers! I hear how asking is central to the process. Inquiry, self-reflection are anyway part of being human as we look back and wonder how we got here or how we're going to hopefully get somewhere else. Correct decision-making, connected to one's inner authority and guidance are not things that are taught at school and yet what is more fundamental in life?

When it comes to asking the I-ching I find that my questions that I want answered mostly fall in the 'yes' or 'no' category, but, those are the questions the I-ching answers least well, and therefore one of my struggles is to find a way to "rephrase" my question in a way that can be answered, so that I can make my own 'yes' / 'no' decision.

That said, perhaps, I can share a couple examples and if anyone cares to, give me feedback which could help me understand the process better.

In January my partner of 3 years left. Last year was hard, and I felt or hoped that we had turned a corner this year but like that dragon in Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf the grew turned his back having thought to have beat it (the "thou shalt not pass scene), one last flick of the tail caught Gandalf on the bridge and pulled him down with him as he fell. (lesson being - never turn away from your unconscious!). The whole process has thrown me into a deep catharsis and revival of my soul which is a great thing, but, I still would like to share the fruits of my darkness and get back on track with her. Of course, the reality is that she has moved out, so, there is the stark-naked obvious answer, but, I

She told me she is not looking to reconcile, and happy moving forward on her own. However, she has agreed to meet up. I have been considering and contemplating 'us' and thought to get some support and clarity from the I-ching.

1 question:

"What is happening between (her) and I?"

I received hexagram 1, Creative Force
"This is the pure creative spirit that flows through people and events: it drives towards manifestation, an inspiration that wants to be realized"
"Through constancy, this brings out intrinsic potential and yields a harvest of positive results. To be constant is to be true to your intent, faithfully aligning all your choices with your original vision, and carrying your understanding through in practice and over time."

Changing Line 4 >Hexagram 9 - small taming

‘Small taming, creating success.
Dense clouds without rain
Come from my Western altars.’
"To ‘tame’ is to restrain and also to accumulate and nurture: it’s what the farmer does. Here, the mall farmer
cultivates the soil of his own small plot, hoping the offerings made at the Western altars will bring rain."

I don't know how these Hexagrams 1 and 9 and accompanying text connect with my question of what is happening between us. Is it a good question to ask? Hopefully, someone can illuminate.

2. I also asked:

Is it auspicious to meet up (referring to our arranged rendezvous) and got:

Hexagram 41 - Decreasing.

Doesn't sound good to me, but the Oracle section of the commentary says:

‘Decreasing: there is truth and confidence.
From the source, good fortune.
Not a mistake, there can be constancy.
Fruitful to have a direction to go.
How to use this?
Two simple baskets may be used for the offering.’

Changing Lines 2 and 4 > Hexagram 21 - Biting through.

which suggests perseverance? dare I hope 'breakthrough' even?


3. finally I asked:"What is the outcome of pursuing her" (leave her actual name out)

Hexagram 20 - Seeing

"To see is not to focus on some specific thing, but to witness everything that comes into view, with open awareness like a heron seeing a lake"
Is this telling me not to have a fixed outcome in mind? so as to avoid disappointment?

Changing Line 3 > Hexagram 53 - Gradual Progress

‘Gradual progress. The woman marries.
Good fortune.
Constancy bears fruit.’

!Yay
Does she marry me though?



I would be grateful if anyone should like to comment, clarify and support my understanding of the Hexagrams given and the right line of questioning to get the best answer from Iching.


Cordially,
Conrad

 

[svenrus]

I'm afraid I can't clarify Your situation but just give the advice I have found myself usefull and seen many other places confirmed: Your first question and the answer to that would be what I Ching has to tell You. Understanding this first answer is to listen to the advice from I Ching. Asking I Ching again and again if not understanding it's primary answer can lead to confusion.
Concerning Yes/No answers I feel the same way as You expressed and very seldom I find I Ching answering Yes/No.

Besides that hex 1 is mostly explained in the ways of initiative - action - creativeness and that like.....

Further more The answer is to be found in the fourth line of hex 1.

" - - -The Master said: In ascent or descent there is no fixed rule, except that one must do nothing evil. In advance or retreat no sustained perseverance avails, except that one must not depart from one's nature. The superior man fosters his character and labors at his task, in order to do everything at the right time. Therefore he makes no mistake. - - -" [Richard Wilhelm book III, on nine in the fourth place, hex 1. p. 381, Wilhelm/Baynes 1968]

 

[mirian]

Dear Conrad,

I have been asking questions to the Yi for over 15 years and I believe that any question is valid. Most people on this Forum will say to you that you should avoid Yes/No questions and that the Yi does not respond well to questions in this format. However, sometimes all that we want or need is a Yes or No answer and I cannot see the point of re-phrasing your question when, in practical terms, what you really have got in mind is Yes or No please? So, over the years I have asked all sorts of questions, in all possible formats. Again, just to make it clear that this is my personal experience only.

That said, I would like to add a few ideas that I hope will help you to understand your readings.

1.question:
"What is happening between (her) and I?"
Hexagram 1, Changing Line 4 >Hexagram 9

The options are open to both of you. Sometimes in life there isn't a "right" or "wrong" decision. What is right is whatever is true to yourself, consistent to what you want from life. So, everyone is free to make choices for their own good. This is the moment for both of you.

2.question:
"Is it auspicious to meet up (referring to our arranged rendezvous)"
Hexagram 41 Changing Lines 2 and 4 > Hexagram 21

It is fine, but you both have to consider how much you have to give up or sacrifice to be together. In your position I would ask myself: "Do I have to give up way too much to accept the other person's own priorities?" So, don't give too much, decrease. Also a time for both of you to look into your own faults, mistakes, attitude.

3. finally I asked:"What is the outcome of pursuing her"
Hexagram 20, Changing Line 3 > Hexagram 53

Sorry, there is no marriage in sight The Yi is asking you to have a broader view of the whole situation. You have to put aside your own views, wishes, step aside, and look at the situation from a stand-point. Look at the big picture, consider all aspects (her views and wishes, inclusive...) and that is the process (gradual, as hexagram 53 is) that is going to help you to understand eventually.

Take care:bows: