how to be with this person at this time

[Hepzibah]

Dear All,I cast the question: guidance on how to be with Daisy at this time?Reading 28.1.3 to 58I have been having some unsettling feelings / interactions with this person (all quite subtle) and I really don't know if am reading too much into things but I cast to Yi for guidance as I would really like to have clear interaction with no subtle / hidden stuff.That's why I was so glad to see 58 opening as the relating hexagram with themes of joy / communication as that's exactly how I would like things to be...But how to get there...The moving lines 28.1 - warning to take lots of care with this decision to avoid breakage - I suppose that means to avoid a break down in communication. But yet it says that there is danger and a message come through and change is necessary. Because the offering mat is here in this Line am going to put a prayer request and light a candle.28.3 - collapse under stress - too much to carry on ones own - Maybe that's why I cast to Yi.Do you think will all be ok if I use the prayer mat and aim for joy in communication with Daisy?Thank you all for all the help I receive here!

 

[Trojina]

Dear All,I cast the question: guidance on how to be with Daisy at this time?Reading 28.1.3 to 58I have been having some unsettling feelings / interactions with this person (all quite subtle) and I really don't know if am reading too much into things but I cast to Yi for guidance as I would really like to have clear interaction with no subtle / hidden stuff.That's why I was so glad to see 58 opening as the relating hexagram with themes of joy / communication as that's exactly how I would like things to be...But how to get there...The moving lines 28.1 - warning to take lots of care with this decision to avoid breakage - I suppose that means to avoid a break down in communication. But yet it says that there is danger and a message come through and change is necessary. Because the offering mat is here in this Line am going to put a prayer request and light a candle.28.3 - collapse under stress - too much to carry on ones own - Maybe that's why I cast to Yi.Do you think will all be ok if I use the prayer mat and aim for joy in communication with Daisy?Thank you all for all the help I receive here!

I think if you don't do 28.1 then 28.3 can happen. You need to be very careful not to put too much weight on the relationship, if that makes sense. Line 3 shows too much pressure cannot be withstood.

I don't know what the source of pressure might be between you but sometimes you can't makes things better with people or as you would like them, as you no doubt already know. When you can't make a person feel comfortable with you or it's not as open as you would like sometimes you just have to go your own way for the time being.

I see the change patterns (the hexagrams the change lines make when all change lines are yang and when all are yin) are 36 and 6 so you have come to the question with issues of wounding, hurt and conflict of some kind.

I don't think you can exert any force of any kind. I mean if you want use your prayer mat but prayer doesn't always give you what you want. Actually I don't know what you mean by 'okay to use prayer mat', you make it sound less like a prayer and more like a magic spell to make things how you want them. I'm sure your intention is good of course but I tend to think prayer is more an opening to what is, a greater flow, a greater will than a ritual. Is the prayer mat connected to Buddhist chanting of some kind ? No need to answer if you prefer not.

Anyway I'm sure there's no harm in you praying as you wish but the reading I think is asking you to be very sensitive and careful in approaching Daisy and if you aren't the relationship may crack under the strain (line 3).

 

[Hepzibah]

Ok Trojans I hear you and will use great sensitivity . I thought of handing the whole situation over to a prayer from the changing line 1 .. however what role is the relating hex playing here as in joy in communicating /.., can that happen here ?!!!

 

[rosada]

Sometimes it's useful to create a sentence putting the second hexagram first as in..
In your attempts to have 58. good honest communication with this person you need to..
28.1 be very gentle as you proceed.. and...
28.3 be careful not to be too overbearing.

It sounds like you are being advised not to try to pin this person down as in "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

 

[Trojina]

Ok Trojans I hear you and will use great sensitivity . I thought of handing the whole situation over to a prayer from the changing line 1 .. however what role is the relating hex playing here as in joy in communicating /.., can that happen here ?!!!

I only just realized you spoke of a prayer mat because of the offering mat in 28.1

If you hand a whole situation over to prayer it means you trust that the outcome will be for the best whatever it is, however it manifests so this would mean being open to what comes. You asked for guidance on how to be with Daisy and got 28.1.3>58. If you make the answer into a sentence it's Great Exeeding's Opening. I just wonder if there has been an excess of opening to one another in the past ? Sometimes when people share too much they can feel they've gone too far, things like that ? So my sense of it is not that 58 is the goal to reach but the place you are coming from, the ambience of the relationship. 58, double dui, lakes open, responsive to each, reflecting each other other doesn't always mean in a fun happy way it can be an intensity of sharing feelings which can even be quarrels.

So I see it as an excess of open sharing that led to this situation where you now have to be quite careful. So if you already shared a lot, communicated a lot, yes this is the tenor of the relationship, that's how it feels, that is what it is but at this time for some reason this is too much. You may have seen this many times especially in teenage years. One might get very close to someone very quickly and share everything and then that become too much. Double dui I think is personified if you think of what 2 teenage girls are like in communication, dui is youngest daughter. They bounce off each other, lots of chatting , giggling sometimes drama, it's all going on and then it can feel too much and one person wants some space.

Remember to put yourself in the Image of 28

'The lake, submerges the tree: Great Exceeding.
A noble Hepzibah stands alone without fear,
Withdraws from the time without sadness.'

I don't think you are being straightforwardly advised to withdraw in the 33 sense...but copying a little bit from Hilary's commentary on the Image

'Water should sustain the tree, but an excess will drown it. Interaction and communication should sustain you, but too much will be overwhelming, drowning the natural growth of your spirit in a flood of demands and expectations'.

28 does show that when it's too much you have to follow your own purpose rather than continuing to try to chase harder after good relations with people. That would be too much and the lines show you how to conduct yourself in this time.

 

[Hepzibah]

Amazing guidance and thank you Trojina for mapping this out . I had a dream about this last night . It said ‘change is essential...that’s what the relating hexagram means ‘... so if I use all the amazing guidance I have been given to change then joyful open communication may be the outcome ‘ ....??

 

[Hepzibah]

Amazing guidance and thank you Trojina for mapping this out . I had a dream about this last night . It said ‘change is essential...that’s what the relating hexagram means ‘... so if I use all the amazing guidance I have been given to change then joyful open communication may be the outcome ‘ ....??