How to deal with these bitchy women Hex 30.6>55

[goddessliss]

Further to this thread
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?21153-class-dynamics-30-2-gt-14&highlight=
and after being 'rejected' more than a number of times in a short space of time including these two situations
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?21623-rejected-38-3-4/page2

I felt myself becoming beaten and nearly took up the victimized role but last night I gave myself a stern talking to and decided to re-empower myself.

The situation is, that although I did my best with the classmates to ignore their behaviour and share my knowledge, it seems they didn't like that and became very bitcyh towards me.

The self appointed leader of the group of women doesn't like it when you challenge her and don't fall into 'following' her lead so she organised a weekend away to an out of town garden exhibition (we're studying Horticulture) for all the women but NOT extending an invitation to me but making sure I overheard them talking about it. When I didn't let it bother me they then tried to psyche me out by her best friend deliberating ignoring me even if I spoke directly to her. I got fed up and left class early last week not wanting to go back but as I said last night I sorted that out in my own mind.

What is the best way to deal with this women

Hex 30.6>55

There is that Hex 30 again!!

Unfortunately I can't actually get rid of her nor remove her from the class. We're working on a project which is in a 9m sq space.

Someone once told me that people Love to somehow hurt the brightest star.

 

[mesmer]

Hi,

Just some thoughts.

It seems like you lost the possibility to spread light on the situation, as suggested by 30.2 (i think, reading your thread, you lost lucidity here). Now, at the very end of the situation pictured by hex 30 (line 6) you have to confront directly and actively the malevolent group and save who you can save. It's a necessity. Very clear:

Nine at the top means:
The king uses him to march forth and chastise.
Then it is best to kill the leaders
And take captive the followers. No blame.

I wish you courage.

 

[diamanda]

I haven't followed your previous threads on this, but based on what you say here:

There must be one person at least who is in charge of this class (e.g. teacher? organiser?).

Report the bitch directly to this person, officially explain all the poisonous details and the horrendous bullying attitude of the bitch, and ask for immediate action against her according to the formal procedures of the institution. She must be stopped, and her 'followers' also restricted. Spare no detail as to her direct discriminating and bullying attacks against you. Most institutions have solid rules against discrimination and bullying. Escalate it immediately and ask for justice (55).

 

[butterfly spider]

I was thinking of this casting before the other folk replied above. It actually made me smile in that one translation I remember the line talks of executing the person causing you harm - but I think that would be a bit extreme!!

Decisive action - either find a way for her to leave or walk out - but somehow the line does not feel
As if it is out and out fisty cuffs - more getting someone to do it who is higher in authority

Poor you
Good luck
X

 

[goddessliss]

Thank you all for responding so quickly. Yes it would be a good idea for me to go to the authority of the college and hopefully that means something occurs so those following her because they feel intimated not to are 'set free'.

 

[goddessliss]

Update so far : I spoke to the teacher. He called a meeting of me,him and the head of the college. They decided to start resolution through getting the college counsellor to come and talk to the class as a whole about respecting others etc. So we'll see what happens.

 

[peter2610]

How to deal with these bitchy women Hex 30.6>55

Sounds like things are now progressing well but I'd still like to post my entry in case this kind of situation ever arose again.

Hex 30, Clinging-fire, has the quality of sustaining itself by clinging to that upon which it feeds. It absorbs its nourishment in this way and transforms it into radiant clarity but be careful, Li is associated with ego and a persistent indulgence in excessive zeal (nuclear hexagram Hex 28 - Excess of the Great) will lead to misfortune. Hence the Judgement is urging you to take care of the cow - a passive docile attitude - clinging persistently to what is right without allowing any indulgent excess to unbalance your approach.

Top yang follows this balanced approach in that it is urging you to take action only against the leader of the group. This should be interpreted in a very general sense in that you should wait for a display of open hostility or offensive behaviour from anyone in the group who is taking a leading role and take issue only with that offender and with no-one else. State your position clearly and modestly and that will allow the truth in your words to sustain. You are not seeking a sweeping victory here, but a simple demonstration that by clinging modestly to the truth you cannot be defeated.

The important process in all of this is that you understand the structure of their behaviour. It is not based on any penetrating insight into your faults but rather upon their mutual weakness and dependency. If you can expose the weakness of any single attack upon yourself you should find that this will have an effect upon the entire group.

 

[canislulu]

Thank you, Peter, for what you wrote about Hexagram 30. I have been struggling with some unhealthy group dynamics in a local community that is important to me. I am afraid that I often allow "indulgent excess to unbalance my approach" and in fact had received hexagram 28 in response to one of the many questions I was asking about how to proceed. H 28 made sense to me in that I feel like I am the only person in the group that does not want to be vindictive towards another person in the group --- I am standing alone. I know that I need to learn to state my position clearly and modestly without seeking a sweeping victory and am finding that difficult to do. Interestingly, the problem that the community is having with the individual is that they perceive him as having "persistent indulgence in excessive zeal".

And thank you, goddessliss, for posting your story, etc. I appreciate this community and the help we can give each other as we struggle with human conflict in the world.

 

[goddessliss]

After talking with my teacher I felt so much brighter so I'm thinking this is part of the reading. It was an interesting meeting/talk from the counsellor and it certainly showed there was more than one 'bully' in the class. By me reporting the situation things came to light that probably wouldn't have otherwise and I did take a docile attitude once I felt I done what I set out to do. It wasn't my intention to feel victorious or actually even get rid of the bully/ies it was about bringing things out in the open so that the situation didn't continue into next year.
Thanks to everyone who helped me here particularly because when I asked the question I never thought I would do what I've done it was more about me looking for myself to find a personal strategy to deal with it.
Always the first instance I blame myself and look at what my accountability is but I realise here that I walked into a class that was already a minefield and in reality I just had to find a way to dodge the 'bullets' which had nothing at all to do with me.

 

[diamanda]

Very glad to hear that the teacher/counsellor were supportive towards you!

Always the first instance I blame myself and look at what my accountability is

I too used to do exclusively this and of course I was the victim of bullies myself.
I'm certain they look for people with this trait; also kindness and politeness make easy targets.

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks for saying you resonate with me diamanda. They defintinely can recognise our gentleness straight away and sadly take advantage of that. Right now I have to constantly remind myself not to take the blame and realise there really are just bitches in this World whether I like it or not.