How to manage a conflict

[cris]

Hello everyone!

There's quite an unpleasant conflictual situation going on at work. It has reached a level at which I will have to address it somehow, so I asked:
"Dear Yi, please enlighten me on how to manage this conflict".
R.: 1.4 > 9

Dancing on the abyss... interesting. Hex 1 would appear to suggest a forceful action, however its alternating to Small Taming indicates the need for some caution. Would love to hear your takes :bows:

 

[peter2610]

Hi Cris,

"Wavering flight over the depths" - Wilhelm.

It just means that you're wavering on whether to pass on it or get involved in the argument. The Zhi Gua, Hex 9, Taming Power of the Small, implies the answer. 'Return to the way' and stay 'loyally attached' to your higher self. Let it pass.

PS: I've just noticed that in my edition of Wilhelm/Baynes it gives 'Wavering Flight' in Book 1 and 'Waving Flight' in Bk 3. Presumably a typo, but one that I never spotted in all these years. Anyone else got a Wilhelm edition with the same error? Maybe this could make my copy priceless!!!

 

[willowfox]

There's quite an unpleasant conflictual situation going on at work. It has reached a level at which I will have to address it somehow,

so I asked:
"Dear Yi, please enlighten me on how to manage this conflict".
R.: 1.4 > 9

Well, if you must do something then charge in and say your piece but whether it has any lasting effect after you walk out the door is doubtful.

"in one ear and out the other".

 

[cris]

Thanks Peter and Willow.

Unfortunately this situation directly calls for my intervention. I can jump in the abyss by being very vocal in addressing it, or go for the understating approach indicated by the small taming; either way I am required - and want - to end the conflict effectively. Any suggestion?

 

[willowfox]

Well as I said or at least hinted at, you just need to assert yourself much like a school teacher reprimanding wayward children.

But as I also said it is doubtful if they will take any notice anyway but at least you tried and with luck pushed an open conflict underground.

 

[cris]

WF, thanks for your clarification.

I found the following insight you gave about the same casting in another thread:

This says that you have a choice here, either you can stand your ground on the issue or you can back away from it, it is entirely up to what you think is the best path to follow, as neither is really wrong.
But Hex 9 advises you to wait. You are in a rather difficult situation regarding your problem and that your chances of having a successful outcome now are blocked, so it advises you to plan ahead and not to take a stand for the moment, wait for the situation to change but stay determined as you will get what you want in the end.

It would appear perfectly applicable to my case... waiting to take a stand till I'm in a stronger position. Do you see my reading very differently? I'm not implying that one interpretation applies to every situation (though in this case it would be nice ).

 

[peter2610]

"Hesitating to leap, it still stays in the depths, so suffers no blame" - Wang Bi

If you can hang on for a while, you might find the situation resolves itself. If not, it might have cooled down enough for people to listen to reason. I wouldn't see the hexagrams Ch'ien and Hsiao Ch'u as offering you an either/or choice, try to see them as forming a coherent meaning together.

 

[tigerintheboat]

Think Small

There's quite an unpleasant conflictual situation going on at work. It has reached a level at which I will have to address it somehow, so I asked:
"Dear Yi, please enlighten me on how to manage this conflict".
R.: 1.4 > 9

There is a strong implication in this reading that you are not ready to fly, that you can't take the action required. Or perhaps the situation has not reached the point where it is actionable.

A farmer wants to have a crop of beans at harvest, but there are no large actions he can take to get beans. He must take a series of well ordered small actions, which amount to hard work and patience: ordering the beans, tilling the soil, planting, irrigating, weeding, etc. This is the lesson of H9.

Similarly, I read here in your posts that you feel an urge to take action, and that you must take action, but the reading says that you can't suddenly take action, or you will fall in the abyss. There must be careful tilling of the soil first and the recognition of when the time comes when you are able to fly over the abyss.

From the WikiWing: "There is also what seems to be a proverbial expression: be careful, be cautious, as if you were approaching an abyss, as if you were treading on thin ice...
A sense of being on the edge, on the verge of venturing into something much larger and more potent - playing with ideas of something maybe beyond your capacity, or more commitment than you want. Stretching your wings. Little wonder that this has also traditionally been taken to mean indecision."

Nothing in this line urges action. I say if you must take action, take the smallest action possible. See if the small action lightens the situation.

On the lighter side, in a completely different context, the Sufi poet Rumi said"
"Just be quiet and sit down./The reason is you are drunk,/ and this is the edge of the roof."

Tiger

 

[pocossin]

"Dear Yi, please enlighten me on how to manage this conflict".
1.4 > 9

☰ ☴
☰ ☰


The conflict -- I suppose -- is between employees who aren't treading the same path. Shine a bright light on the differences and insist on the necessity to return to customary ways.

1J
The Creative works sublime success,
Furthering through perseverance.

Enforce company policy consistently.

1I
The movement of heaven is full of power.
Thus the superior man makes himself strong and untiring.

There should be no question as to who is in charge.

1.4
Nine in the fourth place means:
Wavering flight over the depths.
No blame.

Like fog rising above a pond, intervention should not be greater than the situation requires.

9J
The Taming Power of the Small
Has success.
Dense clouds, no rain from our western region.

Storm a bit but don't get anyone wet.

 

[ginnie]

either way I am required - and want - to end the conflict effectively. Any suggestion?

Are you supposed to be the mediator between the opposing sides, Cris? Yi's response seems to be a reflection or symbolic imaging of your own hesitation about what to do.

Maybe you could ask Yi: 'What if I do this?' or 'What if I do that?' This might lead to something more definite.

Each of the opposing sides believes it is the right side. You have to grant that: both sides think they are right. My only suggestion is to have each side lay on the table what their need is. What do they need? People quarrel because their needs are not being met.

In a win-win solution, a way is found around the obstinate or intractable oppositions. Sometimes this involves finding a solution that nobody has thought of before. This third alternative solution sometimes appears in the process of people laying it on the table, exactly what they need.

That is, if the people involved are still talking to each other. If nobody's talking and communication has ceased, then there is no possibility of finding the win-win solution.

 

[patro]

great forces are involved... but the best way to manage the situation is in a passive way... obviously the situation is not good for you... and it will never be better... but all this will end!
the best way is to let other see how really he/she is - - with you
so don't get involved! and the situation will end! not friendly... but also with no blood!