How will this awkward situation change? 23.5>20

[curiouser]

There is this man who had pursued for me years but I turned him away as I was not ready back then. The flood of memories of the things he had done for me came back from November 2014 to now, and it dawned on me he might be the one I am looking for.

In March I tried to find out if he still feels for me: The meeting went very awkward and I did not find out anything.I probably came across as a weirdo.

Right now things are very awkward between us and I am hoping that the discomfort will ease and we can speak and slowly get to know each other.

I asked the I Ching how will this awkward situation between us change.
Yi: 23.5 > 20

I welcome insight from anyone, thanks in advance:bows:

 

[pocossin]

How will this awkward situation between us change?
23.5 > 20

The situation will change when you come to know yourself. Why did you reject his kindnesses and advances over all these years? Is he too much like your father or not enough like your father, too tall or too short, too dark or too light, too rich or too poor, too conventional or too unconventional. . . ? In your awkward meeting did you acknowledge to him what he has done for you? It is not too late for that. Gratitude is never awkward.

 

[curiouser]

I believe my rejection of him was due to timing and what was important to me at that point in my life: I gave myself away at a young age, and 10 years later found myself flunked out of school, jobless and penniless with a trail of broken relationships. I decided to stay single and straighten myself out, get back in school, get settled financially. I would only accept friendship as love. He happened to come along at this time.

I rejected him because I didn't feel for him. I was very mean to him hoping that he would go away. I looked up to him as a senior (He later rose to a position of authority), I do admire his work, but there had been no romantic feelings towards him.

Another 7 years has passed since then; I am glad to have sorted out some of the things I set myself to achieve, and I am ready to move on to look for love. There was this astrology newsletter in my email box that said that I should not look for love, love is always there, then i found myself wondering about him.

I admit, that the purpose of the last meeting was to find out if he still feel for me. I didn't take the chance to apologise (He also claimed to have forgotten) or to thank him. I will thank him (he saved me from a defamation incident) should we meet again.

 

[pocossin]

I didn't take the chance to apologise (He also claimed to have forgotten) or to thank him. I will thank him (he saved me from a defamation incident) should we meet again.

The past is past. Don't apologize, just acknowledge his patience and endurance. You won't find anything better. You have his email, right? You admire his achievement. What else could a guy want? I suggest that you contact this person and spill your heart, but first, think this over carefully. Why did you reject him in the first place?

 

[curiouser]

I can't do emails pocossin, I prefer to tell him to his face. We are very awkward now and I am just hoping to ease it to a point where i can bare my heart eventually.

It was awkward because he got suspicious of me contacting him suddenly, I suspect. Friends are advising me to take it slowly, build a rapport first