Is my girlfriend cheating on me?

[Sneakysneak]

Hello all,
I have been using yijing for a year and I have never really been good with the interpretations. To begin, I use plum blossom to derive the hexagrams. As a habit, I always derive the changing line as well but I have read some post already and some of u all mentioned they are given changing lines / unchanging lines. So I am not exactly sure what to read.

My situation : my girlfriend (kinda) and I are on a rocky relationship becos I am not really and I know she has been texting another guy really closely and we are in a situation where she is keeping this relationship open. She is conflicted with this relationship becos she knows I treat her really well yet I don't really have the qualities of the man she seems for. She admitted that and insinuated that she is doing things that I don't like or won't accept although I dont know what extent she has gone to with the other guy.

I love her a lot so much so I am willing to improve to match what she wants but I just want to know whether she is already with the other guy because I don't know how to feel or what to do anymore.

So I asked 2 questions.

Question :1 Is she cheating on me with the other guy?

I received hexagram 50. And casted a changing line 4 which transforms to travelling. I donno whether to read the changing or unchanging lines as it's something I have been doing. And the interpretation for cauldron is there is something brewing. So does that mean that she and the other guy's connection is building up to a point that she would leave me for him?

Question 2: she mentioned that she is going overseas with her best friend. But I doubt it. So I
asked iching if she is going overseas with the guy tomorrow.
Ironically I received travelling hexagram 56. Changing line is 4
I read a few interpretations based on the unchanging line and I am confused. One of it said that to break away as there is a 3rd party. Does it mean she is travelling with the guy and hence naturally can assume in doing so she is cheating on me?

I know how stupid I must sound by now but I just need some clarity. Thank you...

 

[rosada]

50 with line 4, the broken pot, changes to 18. Work on what has been spoiled, so I think you can assume there is a problem here.

 

[ShhGeckus]

Hi Sneakysneak,

If there is a changing line, particularly one changing line, this is generally the one that you need to pay attention to.

One of the tricks with the iching is to frame questions so that you can receive a descriptive answer, rather than ask yes/no questions. For example: Please comment on whether a committed and fulfilling relationship with [name] can be achieved. Hopefully you can then get an answer about if it is possible and under what circumstances.

So hexagram 50 with a changing line of 4 suggests that there is an absence of trust or confidence, but not necessarily a confirmation of your question. This actually changes to hexagram 18 (Decay/Repair/Work on what has been spoiled). I tend to associate hexagram 50 with self development, or transforming the self.

The iching is also known for giving you the answer you need, so forgive me but I feel the iching is suggesting that you may need to work on something personal, (frame of mind, attitude, perspective, self-image). But for you! Not for anyone else (although when you work on yourself for you, people naturally tend to be drawn to you anyway ).

Again please forgive me. I know it's hard when you're really attached to someone, to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective.

My two cents: If she wants an open relationship and you don't, then it may be best for you move on.
Open relationships, by nature, involve other people. They also require A LOT of trust, honesty and confidence (self-security). (This may be what is required of the Wanderer/Traveller of line 56.4 to ease their mind/heart.)

Perhaps you could start by reflecting on your username and how this presents you to the world.
I'm sure you have many beautiful qualities, ideas, quirks or passions you could display.
You could even let the iching guide you here.

 

[Sneakysneak]

50 with line 4, the broken pot, changes to 18. Work on what has been spoiled, so I think you can assume there is a problem here.

Thank you but I am so sorry I mixed up the changing line. Hexagram 50 changing line is 2. Does it change the whole story?

 

[Sneakysneak]

Hi Sneakysneak,

If there is a changing line, particularly one changing line, this is generally the one that you need to pay attention to.

One of the tricks with the iching is to frame questions so that you can receive a descriptive answer, rather than ask yes/no questions. For example: Please comment on whether a committed and fulfilling relationship with [name] can be achieved. Hopefully you can then get an answer about if it is possible and under what circumstances.

So hexagram 50 with a changing line of 4 suggests that there is an absence of trust or confidence, but not necessarily a confirmation of your question. This actually changes to hexagram 18 (Decay/Repair/Work on what has been spoiled). I tend to associate hexagram 50 with self development, or transforming the self.

The iching is also known for giving you the answer you need, so forgive me but I feel the iching is suggesting that you may need to work on something personal, (frame of mind, attitude, perspective, self-image). But for you! Not for anyone else (although when you work on yourself for you, people naturally tend to be drawn to you anyway ).

Again please forgive me. I know it's hard when you're really attached to someone, to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective.

My two cents: If she wants an open relationship and you don't, then it may be best for you move on.
Open relationships, by nature, involve other people. They also require A LOT of trust, honesty and confidence (self-security). (This may be what is required of the Wanderer/Traveller of line 56.4 to ease their mind/heart.)

Perhaps you could start by reflecting on your username and how this presents you to the world.
I'm sure you have many beautiful qualities, ideas, quirks or passions you could display.
You could even let the iching guide you here.

Hello I am so sorry but I mixed up hexagram 50's changing line..it's changing line 2.
I think I was overly emotional when I was asking for help. That does Change the interpretation for the question as to whether she is cheating with me on another guy right?

Also there is nothing to forgive, yijing merely speaks the truth and u are doing me a really big favour by deciphering it for me..I really appreciate it just as I was taught to appreciate Iching.
Although I gave the wrong changing line, there is much to learn because I do need change as I know I am lacking in many aspects to become a better man.

I know I have become so obsessed with tracing her that I become so spaced out and so ignorant of my surroundings. There is a lot to learn and I really agree with what u said.
I am working on myself even as we speak and in hope I can find ways to make myself better..for myself.

The username is an old nick i used to call myself so I didn't give it much thought.
Just something I am used to though

Again I really appreciate that u spent time to help me. Thank you ShhGeckus

 

[ShhGeckus]

Hi Sneakysneak,

Ah ha, I see about the user name. I've noticed a few people set up usernames that reflect their iching query when they first join. I jumped to conclusions.

50.2 does change the flavour of the reading a bit. Seems clearer now, and more in your favour about how you can respond. Line two can be about controlling emotions, particularly jealousy. But it also can be about controlling them in order to make a clear decision about whether a partner is actually the right one for you. So whether she is with someone else or not, is she the right path for you?

There's definitely an interference in this whole thing from a third party, but it can also represent your response to this third party. 50>54 sounds like open relationships are unfamiliar territory and not right for you.

In my observation and experience, if a partner can drop jealousy and mistrust, and genuinely be ok with their partner wanting an open relationship, it can be a very attractive thing that leads to commitment anyway. But not always.

Life choices - so simple yet so tricky!

 

[Changstein]

I think this is very simple.
Both 50/2 and 56/4 indicate that you can't enjoy what you have. This could be a rich and rewarding relationship, but your own anxieties are stopping you from appreciating it.

This may be something you can change, or it may not be. If there is any advice for you in these readings, I think it's to try to stop worrying and appreciate your relationship for what it is.

Regards,

 

[marybluesky]

Sneakysneak;

in an open relationship both people have the right to be with other people. This isn't regarded as cheating. You talk about catching your girlfriend with another guy in a resentful manner in the other post. Even if you do so, she's done nothing wrong, as she doesn't pretend to be in an exclusive relationship with you.
If an open relationship isn't for you, if the girl has made it clear that she doesn't want to be serious with you, re-evaluate the situation and leave if it brings you more suffering than joy. Punishing your girlfriend for something she doesn't owe you is senseless. Spying on your girlfriend actions isn't a healthy behavior in a relationship.

Anyways,
50.2 talks about a filled cauldron that can't be harmed. Sounds like a "no, she's not cheating on you" during the Travel (56).

As for 56.4, Liu says "The exile finds rest in a sanctuary. He regains his valuables. He is not happy in his heart" . She has traveled to Keep Still (52- the relating hexagram), be away from current problems and heal. So she hasn't lied.

She has done nothing wrong according to the readings.