Is now the time for action?

[einhorn]

A while back I was in a serious relationship with someone; although we loved each other very much, we ended up breaking up. I consulted the I Ching a lot during this time and every time it basically told me that it wasn't time, "action will be unsuccessful," negative type answers. As much as I didn't want to believe them, they were still correct. Since then I'd slowly been moving on, and getting to the point where I was doing ok, carrying on with my life.

Last night I sort of had a dream about her where I was back at our old place. She was not there, but her brother was (strange). I remember distinctly in the dream that it smelled like her (the first time I ever recall experiencing scent in a dream).

Since I woke up, I've been unable to get her out of my mind. I've had powerful dreams about stuff before, and you wake up and still feel it, but it usually fades within a few minutes. But not this time.

The thoughts have been so intrusive all morning that I decided to consult the I Ching.

I asked three questions:

Help me understand why I had that dream about [Name] last night.

28 unchanging

Please describe the situation between [Name] and me right now.

18 --> 64

What will happen if I email [Name] today in regard to us?

51 --> 54


What do you think about these answers? Was this just a random dream and my brain messing with me, or was it something more? I've had dreams go both ways before.

The few sources I've looked up these hexagrams in seem to give some conflicting meanings, everywhere from "now is the time for decisive action" to "no progress can be made at this point" type of things, so I defer to the experience of this forum.

Thanks!

 

[icastes]

28 for a dream? You are in the wrong place, and you are better off getting to somewhere else. The 18 indicates much distress and it is better to sever relations, and even the slight hope offered by 64 is very dubious about the future of this affair. While the shock of the electrical message might generate some interest, in the end, 54, this affair is about people who are incompatible with each other, who, for a while, might have tender intimacy but, nevertheless, break up.

 

[einhorn]

28 for a dream? You are in the wrong place, and you are better off getting to somewhere else. The 18 indicates much distress and it is better to sever relations, and even the slight hope offered by 64 is very dubious about the future of this affair. While the shock of the electrical message might generate some interest, in the end, 54, this affair is about people who are incompatible with each other, who, for a while, might have tender intimacy but, nevertheless, break up.

Hmm.

28 seemed to mean collapsing from stress (figuratively but perhaps literally, like a support beam giving out). Which is strange, because for the last few months I've basically been just fine.

18 --> 64
work on what has been spoiled rather than tolerating it, to use too much energy is better than using to little or none, brings success (except for that bit about the fox's tail in the water)

51 --> 54
Do not resist, instead, retreat. Accept loss. When the shock has passed, you will get your stuff back. I'm not sure about 54, some sources make it sound like a happy outcome, and other sources make it sound like "undertakings bring misfortune."

I would understand 51 to mean "don't do anything" if my question was "what should I do regarding [Name]?"

But I asked what will happen if i email her. One source said 51 is "arousing terror." That's pretty messed up. Another said make a strong effort to do something physical. I'm so confused.

 

[icastes]

There is nothing to be confused about. The oracle is clear: You and the other are not suited for each other. Why bother? Also, remember, the initial question is about a dream, not what is real.

 

[einhorn]

So you can't ask about dreams?

 

[icastes]

Of course, you can ask about dreams. But you have to do so with full cognizance that living in a dream and living awake are two different things, even if there is only one reality.

 

[einhorn]

That's why I asked what caused the dream out of nowhere. The answer I got was "stress."

 

[icastes]

Stress, yes, but 28 says that it is the stress is your inability to carry out the responsibilities and so on attendant to to the problem. It says, get out and find alternatives.

 

[pocossin]

> I asked three questions

One hexagram can answer all three questions.

> Help me understand why I had that dream about [Name] last night.

28 unchanging

The Judgement

Preponderance of the Great.
The ridgepole sags to the breaking point.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.
Success.

Your relationship sagged and broke. You regret not placing the necessary props.

> Please describe the situation between [Name] and me right now.

You still miss each other. There are images of renewal in 28. Note: Xun = smell; Dui = pleasant.

> What will happen if I email [Name] today in regard to us?

In the dream the role of the brother is unstated. Was he a support for the relationship? -- A prop for the sagging ridgepole? If the stress that cause the collapse of the relationship has been corrected, contact him. You were with him in the dream.

 

[jfas]

I've never known Hex. 54 to be positive. It's always about a situation that is unsuitable; less than desired - for you, or someone.

Mind you, I've never understood why the image of a marriageable maiden should be negative, either.

But you have to consult the forum about sending an e-mail? Why? Does she have a restraining order against you?

 

[einhorn]

I've never known Hex. 54 to be positive. It's always about a situation that is unsuitable; less than desired - for you, or someone.

Mind you, I've never understood why the image of a marriageable maiden should be negative, either.

But you have to consult the forum about sending an e-mail? Why? Does she have a restraining order against you?

lol, no, in fact our last conversation was me telling her not to contact me again.

I don't understand 54.

I didn't do anything today. I decided to sit on the situation for 24 hours.

 

[Trojina]

then what happened ?

 

[Trojina]

I've never known Hex. 54 to be positive. It's always about a situation that is unsuitable; less than desired - for you, or someone.

Mind you, I've never understood why the image of a marriageable maiden should be negative, either.

But you have to consult the forum about sending an e-mail? Why? Does she have a restraining order against you?

Because in many cultures and in past times marriage is/was not a happy event for many young girls. Often it would have had nothing to do with her desire or romance as we assume now but would have been an arrangement between families for financial/traditional reasons and so on. She would have had to leave her own family and loved ones where she was cherished as a person in her own right by her friends and siblings and so on to go and live in a strange house where she may be seen as nothing more than a slave and child breeder. I'm thinking here more of eastern cultures, and I'm reminded of the countless documentaries of tribal life I've seen where very young girls maybe only 13 or 14 years old must leave their world, their self behind to go serve their role as wife in another tribe. I remember these because some I've seen have been quite heartbreaking, to see just a little girl in floods of tears have to say goodbye to all she knows and loves, incluiding part of her own self, to go and become a breed machine. Some maintain 54 is about becoming part of something bigger and better. I can't say I have ever seen that, I think 54 is always about taking second place, having to become a very small cog in a big wheel and its not fun though it may be a necessary part of life. In I Ching the marrying maiden in 54 is not the first wife, she has no status, shes more a second wife of concubine

So 54 can come up all times we have to adapt to another sytem where our wishes really aren't going to be taken into account too much. We are goingto be the ones to have to adapt. This reminds me of for example a 54 ish expereince for me would have been (if I had cast the i ching aged 11)going from a small village school to a much larger school where you have to adapt to systems and customs and authorities and where your individuality is all but extinguished within the efforts of adaption to the 'powers that be'.


Sometimes one can get along quite well in this situation as the lines show, especially in line 5 where one gains more honour or advantage through being in 2nd place.


I don't feel 54 is ever a very good omen for relationship issues unless you a re quite clear you are happy to adapt and sublimate your own desires. This can be done but isn't feasible long term probably without a larger goal you are serving. For example if serving a larger goal, ie the "good of the kids" or whatever one may have motivation to sublimate ones wishes in a relationship. But if one is in a relationship just for the sake of the personal emotional fulfillment it will bring then there may not be enough for it to go on.

 

[pocossin]

Trojan, I agree with your post, but you are responding to a thread that has been inactive since February 5th, 2011. Einhorn has not been active since that date.

 

[Trojina]

yes I know

I was fully aware of that when I posted today

 

[Trojina]

The thread called to me like a hidden crane

Einhorn will be sure to hear

 

[Trojina]

Meanwhile theres no law against talking to yourself is there ?

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