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Is there a possibility to come back together?

Julie_

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Hi everyone! I try to question to I-ching my question: I'm wondering to know if there is a chance to a reunion with my ex and if it is a good thing for me.
We had a beautiful story started 10 months ago. At first time i didnt won't to continue then i felt something for him. The story ended for a stupid mess, that was only an excuse.Maybe because he take consciousness that is impossible to continue it, because off he is original from India upper class and his family wants he will marry a woman like them (i.e. rich and indian) or because off the age difference: I'm 40 he is 33.
The I ching give to me this answer : 18.5.6 turn into 22. inner hex is 24.6 turn into 54. I think that i have no chance. I deserve better fom me. isnt it? Thanks to all wants to help me to understand.
 

rosada

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I see 18.5 and 18.6 as emphasizing that the problem is with man's allowing his life partner choices to be dictated by parents.
18.5 The father's rules are inappropriate for the son.
18.6 The son needs to decide for himself what he wants rather than trying to please the "higher ups."

Together I see these hexagrams as saying the problem isn't the parents and definitely not your age but rather that the boyfriend THINKS his parents know better what is right for him. If there is a chance of the two of you reuniting it will be because he comes to realize he must follow his own inner guidance.

Unless and until that happens 22. says it's better your vision of being with this man-child remains a fantasy.
 

Daeluin

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Hi Julie_!

This is quite an interesting reading for me to work out.

I'm wondering to know if there is a chance to a reunion with my ex and if it is a good thing for me.

I see this as a two part question, so we might find two parts within the answer.

I am using Forest of Changes to help me navigate, and have a link in my signature explaining how I use it.

First I am trying to figure out what type of change in each line is being supported by the line statements. In my signature's intro, I describe how I do not always feel that a line is being advised to change, but merely that that change is active, and that the line statements point to the proper ways to work with this active change.

  • Line 5 Correcting the degeneracy of the father, using praise. (tl Cleary) Here we are being empty ourselves and praising another, but what kind of change is this? The Forest always works with lines that are changing, so hexagram 18 changing to hexagram 57 represents line 5 changing from yin to yang. Here in the Forest I see a description of translators being installed on border posts to relieve worries and good fortune is achieved. So here we see that this is clearly in line with the line statement, and we add something from where there was nothing for a positive outcome.
  • Line 6 Not serving kings and lords, one makes ones concerns loftier. (tl Cleary) Here is described a position where there is no degeneration, and thus no correction is needed. We have reached the top line, which is often challenging for a yang show of strength, for it is a retiring, transcendent position. So here it is fitting that it is not to be used. So is this speaking of yang changing to yin? Forest 18 to 46 describes a chicken pecking at grain but then being chased by the fox and not getting any food, but being in terror instead. To me this suggests that not serving kings and lords means not allowing the line to change, for if one does go forth to depend on kings and lords, we might lose any benefit of it and get a warning instead.
The I ching give to me this answer : 18.5.6 turn into 22.

18 with lines 5 and 6 changing leads to water over wind, hexagram 48, not hexagram 22.

So putting things together, it seems to me like line 5 indicates a way of getting back together, using praise and humility. Offering something that is able to reach through the barrier between the cultural and class divides and create a bridge, where there was none before. Perhaps this is the answer to his belief that you cannot be together because of the divide.

On the other hand, line 6 would appear to advise one to not cater to the upper class, for it is not needed. It would appear to suggest that one does not change in this regard, for if one does, one might be put back in one's place.

However that is taking the two lines as separate. The risk to be found in line 6 comes without the bridge that line 5 is able to create. If the bridge is able to be forged adequately, then when one connects with the upper class there is ground to stand on and one need not fear joining them and allowing that yang to change to yin.

This is my explanation for why the Forest describes both lines changing together as being positive, for when 18 changes to 48, it says:

A white sun in the broad sky,
It shines down on our country,
The myriad peoples are peaceful and happy,
This is the source of joy.


To me this seems to answer both parts of your question along with how it can be done.

As for how to build the bridge, and how to be humble and find the right words to honor and appeal to your ex and his family, that is another story. The yi is showing how the possibility could work, but notably it is also showing that line six is the key to the second part of your question. If you are able to make it work, it might end up very well for all concerned. But if you aren't able to find the right way to build the bridge, then it might be that it does not work out beneficially for you, and that you might receive a warning from them.

This is a very interesting reading, as it appears to describe a very literal answer that is highly custom to your questions and gives an answer that shows how it works and how both outcomes might unfold. Please reflect on this carefully, as only you will know if you are reaching for something out of reach or if you have the integrity and poise to walk in the power of your destiny to create a successful bridge to see this path end well. Blessings!
 

Julie_

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Daeluin, first of all I would to thank you for this hopeful reading. I appreciate it very much and, while I was reading, I wished I was wrong in 22 instead of 48. But to be honest it's my fault to write 18.5.6 instead of write 18.1.2 since the throwing start from the bottom to up. I apologize for it, I'm new to this practice but your explaination, dispite my mistake, seems to read my heart. Several time I thought about a wall for connecting my culture to his one.
So, I mean, I would to thank you very much and I appreciate if you eventually want to add any else 🙏
 

Julie_

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I see 18.5 and 18.6 as emphasizing that the problem is with man's allowing his life partner choices to be dictated by parents.
18.5 The father's rules are inappropriate for the son.
18.6 The son needs to decide for himself what he wants rather than trying to please the "higher ups."

Together I see these hexagrams as saying the problem isn't the parents and definitely not your age but rather that the boyfriend THINKS his parents know better what is right for him. If there is a chance of the two of you reuniting it will be because he comes to realize he must follow his own inner guidance.

Unless and until that happens 22. says it's better your vision of being with this man-child remains a fantasy.
Hi Rosada, your answer is bitter but probably it is not far away from the reality. He has a very difficult relationship with father and his mother dotes on him. When I decided to leave him because he won't to live our relationship as I want i.e. "in society", he surrendered. He only said and said that I was running (after 10 months?). He didn't wan't to lose me but he didn't do anything to change my decision too. A month is passed but he never contact me and I start to think that I'm not the woman for whom fight for. Hope that for me it will pass soon. Your reading is so helpful like that of Daeluin, so i would to say thank you!⭐
 

Daeluin

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I wished I was wrong in 22 instead of 48. But to be honest it's my fault to write 18.5.6 instead of write 18.1.2 since the throwing start from the bottom to up.
Not a problem! It was fun to work out and play with interpreting what that answer might have held for your situation. The 18 to 22 reading still works with the same hexagram, and so we still have a dynamic of correction at play, but the answer may be very different. Since lines 1 and 2 are the lines involved in this reading's dynamic of change I would not seek hope from the reading given for lines 5 and 6 changing.

So, I mean, I would to thank you very much and I appreciate if you eventually want to add any else 🙏
You're welcome. We can just do the same thing with lines 1 and 2.

  • Line 1: Correcting the father's degeneracy; if there is a son, the deceased father is without blame. Danger, but in the end it turns out well. (tl. Cleary) It talks about a son being able to inherit and correct the issues caused by the father, allowing the father to die without blame. Thus the danger of karmic retribution, and potential for good fortune in the end should the son complete the task. It indicates becoming the successor if things work out all right.

    Liu Yiming (tl Cleary / The Taoist I Ching) speaks of warding off yin before correction is needed and fixing a problem before it starts or sets in. Wang Bi (tl Lynn / The Classic of Changes) speaks of inheriting a problem at the beginning and needing to be soft and compliant to deal with it. Cheng Yi (tl Harrington The Yi River Commentary) speaks of the power of the line and its need to be soft and compliant and equal to the task despite its low position.

    So is this line changing from yin to yang? The Forest writes for 18 changing to 26 (line 1 changing from yin to yang) of the thunderstorm coming, pouring down rain and blotting out the sun and causing melancholy in our sunken hearts. This does not sound like warding something off or being equal to the task, equal to the danger, and finding good fortune in the end. So I would guess the advice here is to not allow the yin to change to yang but to apply the power of the line's softness to bring correction to the problems inherited.
  • Line 2: Correcting the degeneracy of the mother, it is improper to be righteous. (tl Cleary) Here the mother is represented by the middle line, and righteousness is likely but not proper because this is a yang line, and a righteous show of strength of the son trying to correct the way of the mother is not a respectful way to treat one's mother. So the path of correction here is for line 2 to exercise restraint and the flexibility of yin and yang in balance so that one may be limited in how much correction one is able to accomplish, but still one does not cause damage by using excessive directness and righteousness.

    The Forest for 18 changing to 52 (the yang line changing to yin) says that crude strength is not something that can overcome the will of heaven and wealth cannot protect one from the rumors that will spread, the implication being should one use their yang such that it cause a strong effect and change to yin or there will be repercusions and public humility.

    So the advice here would be for restraining the yang and restraining one's ambitions relative to how well one is able to operate within a dynamic that requires working with the limitations of another.

Given the nature of lines 1 and 2, we might expect the Forest for both lines changing to also be negative, and it is - in both cases some use of restraint to ward off negative influence is required, and if both lines were to change that would indicate a lack of this restraint and the consequences that come with it. So for 18 changing to 22 we have:

Before Mount Li had fully taken shape,
The people's heart was not in it.
Liu Bang is outraged.
Zi Ying is captured.


This is a fun one. Here we have:
  • Zi Ying, the son of the famous emperor Shi Huang of the Qin dynasty. Zi Ying rules after his father for 46 days.
  • Liu Bang, a civil servant who becomes a rebel leader and ultimately the first emperor of the Han dynasty.
  • Mount Li, the famous Qin emperor's mausoleum that still remains unopened surrounded by terracotta warriors.
True to our theme we have a son inheriting the mistakes of the father and trying to do good of them and carry his father's weighty burdens by completing the massoleum, all represented by line one, but in his forcefulness against the people to complete this task, they, representing the mother that requires balanced treatment, rebel and he is captured and later killed.

So in regards to your question, this is a fairly strong statement that there are elements here that could work, but it is entirely dependent on the nature of the problem being inherited and the limitations presented by those one is dealing with, that will determine if one is able to exercise restrained actions in order to complete the type of correction that is called for without overstepping the proper balance of things and facing defeat.

Given that the nature of the problem is related to the class system and culture divide, it would suggest that what one has inherited as a problem is not easily solvable by use of actions that must remain limited and are not in a good position to leverage meaningful change without negative consequences.

Much about how it could be possible (if you ask for a chance the yi in my experience is happy to show the way, however unlikely) depends on how one is centered within the dynamic. If he has left you completely, then how are you to apply the pressure of humble correction unless he is uncertain and able to be swayed? If you do find yourself in such a situation and are able to apply the principle of line one, then you face the challenges of line 2, where you must again exercise restraint and avoid use of force amidst a dynamic that has its own rules of propriety without causing any offence that could lead to your being cast out in a hurtful way.

So it is all of it swimming against the current, and this would appear to be part of the answer the question about if this would be good for you. Asking the question already suggests that you have an idea of how it might not be good for you.

All in all it sounds to me like this is not likely to be possible, and if it were to be possible it would require the blessing of fate and an impeccable unfolding of events to avoid a potential disgrace. It is possible to find success, but please be careful about attaching to this as hope. But only you will know if that is likely or not. Blessings and care to you!
 

Julie_

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Hi Dealuin!
I appreciate very much your holistic view of my question! it's amazing how adherent it seems to be to the true interaction between my ex boyfriend, me, and his parents.
So it is all of it swimming against the current, and this would appear to be part of the answer the question about if this would be good for you.

Yes, true.We broke up. And I'm out of his life. So i could understand what I Ching suggest to me, now.
It is not in my hands to do something and however, if there is someghing to do it's up to him, not me anymore. Wish u all the best ⭐
 

marybluesky

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Hello,

18.5.6 changes to 48 not 22. If these are the lines you received, I read it as one of you (more probably hin) is willing to please his "father", the old, rotten system, while the other doesn't want it and acts upon her own values. So even if there's reconciliation, it will be conflictual.

I don't know how to calculate the inner hex, but if it's 24.6 I agree that it is too late to come back to this less than ideal situation.
 

Julie_

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Hi marybluesky! I was wrong to express my throwing..As I said also to Daeluin the hex was 18,1,2 instead of 18,5,6 because it goes from bottom to up.Inner hex is 54.1 (in my opinion one of the wrost in love) which turns into 40.. peace. As the name of hex suggest ...my love story is gone.. rest in peace😪 However tks for your post🤍
 

Trojina

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The I ching give to me this answer : 18.5.6 turn into 22. inner hex is 24.6 turn into 54.
As I said also to Daeluin the hex was 18,1,2 instead of 18,5,6 because it goes from bottom to up.Inner hex is 54.1
Inner hexagram? What is that? You haven't cast 24.6 have you nor 54.1?
 

Julie_

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Hi Trojina. I use to say "inner Hexagram" that one which stands for the nuclear one. Sorry for this espression of the hexagram that maybe is only mine.Summarizing i got: 18.1.2 turn into 22. Nuclear is 54.1 with 1^ line (9) turn in 40.
 

Trojina

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Ah I see. There aren't change lines in nuclear hexagrams. And you don't use the nuclear hexagram to make predictions of any kind, they are just a bit more insight on the cast hexagram. Your nuclear is 54 there but there really is no need to think about it as a newbie.

You got 18.1.2>22

You asked about a chance of reunion? I don't think the answer says much about reuniting or not really. 18, rectifying decay and corruption. 22 the outer representation of something. It kind of looks like being given an appearance of rectification that maybe not really that strong. Ask yourself do you really want this want this mended, put together again or do you feel deep down even if it was patched up it wouldn't be very sturdy?

My take is quite impressionistic, looking at those 2 hexagrams together it can look a bit like the outer appearance of putting things right, which is kind of what a reunion here is, putting things right but how deep it would go is another matter.

I wouldn't be surprised if he did contact you but be careful that while he gives you an impression he wants to make things right he may not really go very far with that. In 18.1 someone does make up for the past and then in line 2, mother's corruption. That can be seen a number of ways but here it feels like there could be a softness towards you but with no lasting substance. 22, outer form and here the outer form being expressed is a kind of attempt at making things okay but it doesn't seem to go far enough. Deep down you already know this I think.
 

Julie_

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Well, thank you about nuclear hexagram explaination. And yes, i agree with you.
He would have to face his social identity if he should care about me, and it's not simple or easy. So we aren't together. Maybe he couldnt be able to fix situation at all, or to fix only the surface.Maybe he will come back, but that hateful 22 says to me that is not much enough for me and I can't stand perspective of 54 😢. If so, hope I doesn't. Tks for your illuminating point.
 

rosada

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Hi Julie,
I just wanted to comment that the nuclear hexagram gives additional understanding to the meaning of the original hexagram however it is not common practice to then look at the lines of the nuclear hexagram as being part of the answer. Thus while you got 18.1.2 and 54 is the nuclear hexagram for 18, you only look at 54 to see if it gives you a greater understanding of 18. You don't need to also look at 54.1.
At least that's my understanding!
 

Julie_

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Perfect. thank u Rosada for that, so the next throwing will be less complicated to understand for me:)
 

Julie_

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Hi it's me again on my ex..yes I know..it's better not to force the I Ching's response about our problems again and again...But.. I want to show you also the throwing i've done a week before the last one i shared with you. I don't understood very well it, so that's why i tried once more. The question was: Given the situation of no contact, what should I expect now? The answer was been 7.1.3.4.5.6 turn into 1! Nuclear Hex 24. What does it means 7? and why? Could Hex 1 suggests a new life for me? does Hex 24 can refers to a "come back to my essence"? I think that the two throwings were connecting but 7..it's hard to understand.Ok I'm done. Really that's all about my love breakup. Thanks to everyone who will help me! 😅💓
 

Daeluin

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I want to show you also the throwing i've done a week before the last one i shared with you.

Hi Julie_, I'd be happy to take a look. Understanding the second reading might help us make more sense of the first.

The answer was been 7.1.3.4.5.6 turn into 1!

There are 5 changing/active lines, so that's a lot of work for my method, so I will need to do this when I have more time.

But at first glance, we see that it is a hexagram with 5 yin lines, and all 5 yin lines are active. Sometimes in cases like this we are being drawn to look at a pattern it is showing us, something about how all of these lines have in common, or something like that.

I'd like to understand this hexagram better anyway, so thanks for the great opportunity. (=
 

Hartloper

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Hi it's me again on my ex..yes I know..it's better not to force the I Ching's response about our problems again and again...But.. I want to show you also the throwing i've done a week before the last one i shared with you. I don't understood very well it, so that's why i tried once more. The question was: Given the situation of no contact, what should I expect now? The answer was been 7.1.3.4.5.6 turn into 1! Nuclear Hex 24. What does it means 7? and why? Could Hex 1 suggests a new life for me? does Hex 24 can refers to a "come back to my essence"? I think that the two throwings were connecting but 7..it's hard to understand.Ok I'm done. Really that's all about my love breakup. Thanks to everyone who will help me! 😅💓
Hi Julie,

my personal impressions: 7 is "The Army". 5 changing lines suggests a great dynamic and potential for change in your situation, which in itself is already an embodiment of the relating hexagram 1 "THE CREATIVE". Pure yang. Dynamic potential.

when I have 5 lines I look at the fan yao for the unchanging line also. For the fan yao you go to your relating Hexagram #1 and look at the second line (because that's the only one that was unchanging in your cast).

I find this an interesting cast. If you had received 7.2. the resulting hexagram would have been #2 THE RECEPTIVE. Pure yin. But you didn't.

I see #1 also as "the sea of possibilities", pure creativity. The fan yao of the unchanging line 2 in your cast is 1.2 > 13. Here that pure potential goes uit into the field to harmonize its creative vision with what's really there in the field (Parents, conflicting emotions, age gap, cultural differences, etc.).

It could mean to fight for making your vision of love happen against obstacles (parents). Or letting go and seeking love elsewhere in the field of potential suitors.

Only you can decide.

In any case for me this reading suggests that going on from here means to take charge and be active, both Hexagram 7 and Hexagram 1 suggest action. In Hilary's material I believe Hexagram 7 is associated with "the mature person". Hexagram 18, on the contrary, in this context represents those aspects of ourselves or others, which are tied up in paternal and maternal influences, inherited belief systems. I mean, they must be reckoned with. If living your love would entail thoroughly upsetting the parents and traditions the two of you might not want the reality of that relationship, even if the bond of love is strong and real (family ties are important also).

In any case, this reading suggests to me to be "mature" about the whole situation, clarify what you feel and what you want, peruse the field, what are the obstacles and influences to be reckoned with, what does he actually want, and then take your stance, declare your love or let it go and go out into the field again, whatever conclusion you come to.

If this interpretation does not resonate for you, feel free to discard ...

hope it helps!

good luck,

J.
 

Julie_

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Hi Hartloper! first of all thank you.
my personal impressions: 7 is "The Army". 5 changing lines suggests a great dynamic and potential for change in your situation, which in itself is already an embodiment of the relating hexagram 1 "THE CREATIVE". Pure yang. Dynamic potential.
I agree with you. I wanted to know why 7. Maybe 7 it's the key. This cast underline to me the urgence to be in charge in this situation and in my life (as I supposed) and to move on. Probably if I had understood this, I would not have even made the cast already commented on in recent days. I appreciate very much your answer. Thank you 🙏
 

Julie_

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But at first glance, we see that it is a hexagram with 5 yin lines, and all 5 yin lines are active. Sometimes in cases like this we are being drawn to look at a pattern it is showing us, something about how all of these lines have in common, or something like that.
Hi Daeluin, no problem and thank you very much for your tip🌻
 

Daeluin

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The question was: Given the situation of no contact, what should I expect now? The answer was been 7.1.3.4.5.6 turn into 1!

I'll quote here from Cleary's translation of Liu Yiming's The Taoist I Ching regarding the hexagram as a whole, as this perspective helps understand why this reading makes sense:

For the leader of the army to be right, a mature person is good; then there is no error.

The army is a group. This had the meaning of one person leading a group. The qualities of the hexagram are earth above, submissive, and water below, dangerous. Following obediently in danger, it is therefore called the army. This hexagram represents using yang to drive back yin; it follows on the previous hexagram waiting. Waiting is advancing yang in accord with the time, and advancing yang is the way to drive yin back.

The method of repelling yin is to get rid of wrong by means of right, to destroy falsehood by truth, like righteousness in the leader of an army. The "leader of the army" is the way of punishment and execution; it requires both firmness and flexibility, both humanity and justice, command of authority and ability to change, in order to be effective. Otherwise, if one can be firm but not flexible, or if one is only humance and does not know how to apply justice, or if one is only dutiful and does not know how to act humanely, none of this is right, and without correctness good fortune cannot be attained -- instead one will provoke censure.

Only mature and developed people understand good and bad, distinguish wrong from right, know what bodes well and what bodes ill, perceive when to hurry and when to relax, are not confined to either firmness or flexibility, apply both humanity [benevolence] and justice [righteousness] together, are able to obey in danger and by obedience neutralize danger, use the temporal to restore the primordial, use the primordial to transmute the temporal, not only do not let yin trap yang, but even get all yin to follow yang -- this is the path of good fortune without error.

If people are immature, their perception of truth is not clear. They do not distinguish wrong from wright, and so enter aberrated detours. They set out impulsively and not only are unable to make yin retreat, they even accentuate yin. They are sure to bring on error; how can they effect good results and achieve the Tao?

When people have not yet lost the primordial, this is pure natural reality. It is like when the nation is at peace -- even if there are intelligent knights and good generals, there is no need for them. Then when people get mixed up in acquired conditioning, their senses trouble them and their emotions run wild. It is like when there is trouble in the land, with rebels causing disturbance; if there is no way of rooting them out by punishment and execution, it is impossible to restore peace in perilous times.

Therefore the method of striving in spiritual alchemy is to burn away all the pollution of acquired conditioning, and not let the slightest flaw remain in the heart, so that one may eventually reexperience original completeness. This is why the path of direction is valued.

So this hexagram represents using [active] yang to drive back [active] yin.

Inactive yang is like potential energy. Inactive yin is like the coiled up and condensed container that nurtures potential energy, like that of our reserves of life force. When yang is active, it uses up life force to do something, and when yin is active it draws our energy into conditioning.

In relationships, it is common for us to eternally wonder about what the other person is thinking, to wonder about what we want and if they want the same thing too. And if they've left us to wonder if they will come back, and to have our minds and hearts beset by a ceaseless barrage of thoughts and emotions regarding that which we are connected to in energy.

This represents the active yin and how we become beset by acquired conditioning and how it becomes a trap consuming our energy while not leading us forward on our path.

Notably the one yang line in this hexagram, the one that has the chance to reign in the conditioning, is not present within the reading.

So given the situation of no contact, what you could expect was a barrage of thoughts and emotions that were difficult to gain control over. And the challenge presented of returning to yourself by allowing the bond to break. Before this return and letting go of the bond could happen the emotions needed to be reigned in and allowed to settle, which seems to have been the process for you from then to now.

The reading with all yin lines active suggests this very readily. However all yin lines being active does not necessarily mean that they are all changing and producing fruit / consequences. If they were all going all the way into their conditioned changes, then we might expect something more like narcissism, where one fully commits to a story that allows them to move forward with their desires even though those desires have been taken away.

The Forest of Changes shows us this in its description of 7 changing to 1:

Speaking with a forked tongue,
Flattery and nonsense to cloud the heart.
Three people can make a tiger,
Zeng's mother drops her shuttle.


Regarding three people making a tiger, Christopher Gait shares this story:
This idiom comes from a tale told in several classics including the Han Fei Zi. The king of Wei was preparing to send Pang Gong to Han Dan. Pang Gong asked him: If someone told your majesty there was a tiger in the market would you believe them? 'No,' said the king. What if two people said it? 'I would doubt their report,' he answered. And if three people said it? 'Then I would believe them.' Pang Gong pointed out that if this was true about the local market, how much more so far off in Han Dan (in present day Hebei). Sure enough, when Pang Gong was in Han Dan people spread rumors about him and when he returned to Wei the king would no longer grant him an audience.

And regarding Zeng's mother:
This even is recounted in the Shi Ji, in the Gan Mou section about the mother of Zeng Zi, a student of Kong Zi: "Long ago, when the philosopher Zeng Can was living in Bi, an inhabitant of Lu who had the same surname and given name as Zen Can killed a man. Someone came to Zeng Can's mother and said, 'Zen Can killed a man!' but his mother went on weaving just as before. After a while someone else came and said, 'Zen Can killed a man!' but still his mother went on with her weaving. After a while, however, when a third person came and said 'Zeng Can killed a man!', his mother dropped her shuttle, scrambled down from the loom, climbed over the wall and ran away. Worthy as Zen Can was, and as much as his mother trusted him, when three people cast suspicion on him, even his mother became frightened."

Both of these stories help reveal how and why active yin leads to acquired conditioning. The first time we hear something or think something, it may be easy to let it go and not pay it mind. But the more we become exposed to it, the more it takes hold and activates our willingness to receive it and allow it to take root. It is very similar to the necessities of conception and pregnancy, and yet in the world it is most commonly found within our mental/emotional states. So while active yin can be a beautiful thing that nurtures new life and supports fertility and lushness, within the sphere of human relations it more often tends to represent over-consumption and the stresses and distractions that come from one's heart and mind being full of competing and conflicting sentiments.

While it is the yang that gives the energy to these things, the yang is able to feed the flames or to stop feeding them. While the yin that is activated by the yang is less easily able to clear itself of the impressions planted by the yang, and is more in position of responsibility to deal with what the yang did. Yang may stop giving and move on in hopes that its action did not 'take'. While yin too may stop and not engender further fertility, it still remains in possession of the forces of conditioning until they are settled.

And this helps explain why our yang line here all by itself, is in a position able to do some good. In its connection to all this yin that is able to take to conditioning, it is able to direct how things more forward and to reign things in as well - it is able to advance or retreat due to the submissiveness of the lines all around it that will follow and shape themselves to it's changes. And thus it is able to exercise restraint and ward off excessive conditioning by carefully controlling where the changes go.

And in this sense as well, all of your emotions were able to be pulled by this one man, perhaps representing our yang line that is no longer present (no contact). Thus all of the emotions were left in the state they had been developed into, until he left and cut them free, leaving them to steep in the state they were left in.

We could go on to explore each yin line in depth, but to me the reading is very clear at this point.

Hope this helps, perhaps it can offer a sense of validation to the feelings and the nature of how the responsibility of creating them was done with another, and yet then left for you to navigate them all alone. Blessings!
 

Julie_

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Hi Daeluin! Nice to read you again.

Well, it is a big deal. I think that in some way you can feel my point. Your explaination give a deeper insight to the already meaningful suggestions that Hartloper give to me. His point of view caught my status, the necessity for me to put myself in charge in my life in a field (new?) that has many potential forces to express yet.

What you saying insted means something that is hard to explain but that I feel is a part of my thinking.

We broked up, because it was necessary. He didn't want.I did. But when I leaved he just never asked me to turn back. He can't ask, he's blocked because he can't give us a future. I neither condemn nor judge him because it's hard to face "your social identity".

I hope I understood your point, but I think that all the actions in the # 7 that may turn in all the possibilities in # 1 are not only the expressions of my feelings but above all of his ones. All of these remain suspended, filling the possibility area of our life. I feel like Yi is suggesting to me that my ex wants that is only me to decide and that it is only my responsibility to act, even tought he wants too. For that reason the Yi answer to my question sounds like this: it could be possible but it doesn't happen yet (because it is impossible if only one is acting) and probably it will never do. The warning, infact, is to be "a mature and responsible" chief in charge of my life.
Thank you very much for your last answer 🙏 my best. ❤
 

Trojina

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Hi it's me again on my ex..yes I know..it's better not to force the I Ching's response about our problems again and again...But.. I want to show you also the throwing i've done a week before the last one i shared with you. I don't understood very well it, so that's why i tried once more. The question was: Given the situation of no contact, what should I expect now? The answer was been 7.1.3.4.5.6 turn into 1! Nuclear Hex 24. What does it means 7? and why? Could Hex 1 suggests a new life for me? does Hex 24 can refers to a "come back to my essence"? I think that the two throwings were connecting but 7..it's hard to understand.Ok I'm done. Really that's all about my love breakup. Thanks to everyone who will help me! 😅💓
This thread is so long and muddly I was wondering if I could clear up a few facts about the situation with you and you can correct me where I am wrong? We have to keep an eye on the reality of situations, it's no use IMO getting carried to heaven and back by Yi answers when the reality won't allow certain things to happen.

First am I right in thinking your love interest is from a culture where arranged marriage is the norm and therefore his family expects him to marry the woman they choose?

Am I also right in thinking he did have a romance with you but chose to stay with his family tradition and culture? Was it the case he continued to see you without making any promise to commit to you? That is he led a double life. He wanted it both ways. He want the security of family approval, the wealth of arranged marriage, he doesn't want to jeopardise all that for the sake of his 'illicit' relationship with you. In that case he's just a common coward, nothing romantic about it at all. Perhaps 'coward' is too harsh a word, he's simply doing what many have done before him but if this is the case, that he is due an arranged marriage then he needs to choose you or that. You tried to make him choose, understandably and he disappeared back to his family and his wealth and his arranged marriage. He knows where his bread is buttered I guess, it's a hard thing to give up your entire heritage for the concept of western 'romance'. I don't think it's an equal battle, I'd think the romance would have to be very strong love for a man to give everything else up for.

I'm gleaning all that from the first post and possibly other threads, possibly you were here before, not sure.
Maybe because he take consciousness that is impossible to continue it, because off he is original from India upper class and his family wants he will marry a woman like them (i.e. rich and indian) or because off the age difference: I'm 40 he is 33.
So you gave him an ultimatum and he chose to stay with his security. That is what happened by my reckoning. This isn't just a case of a man you met you argued with. You are 'arguing' with an entire culture and I wouldn't think you stand a chance of winning. And that's okay, you have to see it pragmatically, it's not entirely about him rejecting you as a person but more like he doesn't want to reject his whole family/culture/inheritance.



The readings must surely be understood with that as a backdrop. I'd say if that is the situation and you haven't heard from him you have your answer. I think 18.1.2>22 speaks quite eloquently of the whole family thing.


Have I got the story wrong though?


Let me know.


We had a beautiful story started 10 months ago. At first time i didnt won't to continue then i felt something for him. The story ended for a stupid mess, that was only an excuse.Maybe because he take consciousness that is impossible to continue it, because off he is original from India upper class and his family wants he will marry a woman like them (i.e. rich and indian) or because off the age difference: I'm 40 he is 33.
Going back to this for a moment. He's at a critical age isn't he, 30. I don't know a huge amount about Indian upper class families but I have the idea dynasty matters to them and they will want their son to have children with a woman they approve of who comes from their class of society. They surely won't approve you unless you are in that category.

You asked if he will return to you and got 18.1.2>22. Ordinary every day logic says no he won't, he's chosen his upper class family and it's values and money. If he returns to you it is only to you as a 'mistress'. You don't want that I imagine. And I think it would help to get rid of illusions about this. You have Corruption, 18 and 22, Appearances. I think it is possible you aren't seeing this how it really is. The weight and expectation and money of his family have far more power than you to hold him. That is nothing to do with the I Ching it's just how it is...if I have the story right that is. However 18.1.2>22 does fit quite well with the story.
 
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Julie_

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Hi Trojina, I appreciate very much this long answer and I apologize if I had over expose my story and bore you. It is important for me to understand the Yi answer because for me it's a time of reflection and time to regain my strenght to start again.

I'm gleaning all that from the first post and possibly other threads, possibly you were here before, not sure.
No It's not me at all. It's my first LONG post 🤦🏻‍♀️

it's not entirely about him rejecting you as a person but more like he doesn't want to reject his whole family/culture/inheritance.

This point you are talking about is my point. That's why I decide to move on. I know that.

he doesn't want to jeopardise all that for the sake of his 'illicit' relationship with you. In that case he's just a common coward, nothing romantic about it at all

I hope that he is not a coward at least. fit some situations of his life it's not easy. He tried but probably there are much more important things that matter, like you say, and this is not a guilty, I Know. But I hope that his feeling for me was real.

You asked if he will return to you and got 18.1.2>22. Ordinary every day logic says no he won't, he's chosen his upper class family and it's values and money. If he returns to you it is only to you as a 'mistress'. You don't want that I imagine.

He is not currently going to get married for the moment. For sure I don't want to fit the role of the mistress. I don't know why asked my question to Yi probably because I just wanted to understand what are his feeling for me, NET of any choice he must have done and it is obvious that this choice wasn't not me at all. Maybe it's naive, but it's because I wanted to make sense of our end without looking the reason only into interest and social rank. I loved that man.
The readings must surely be understood with that as a backdrop. I'd say if that is the situation and you haven't heard from him you have your answer. I think 18.1.2>22 speaks quite eloquently of the whole family thing
Probably you're right. But I'm not hopeless. My life move on and i'm grateful to loved and lived this experience that has given me so much for better or worse.
Tks for patience!🌻
 

Trojina

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I apologize if I had over expose my story and bore you.
Oh no I didn't mean you bored me, I was meaning I was getting a bit muddled and I wanted to get some clarity on the actual situation because the thing is we can get lost in the nuances of readings and lose sight of the situation in real life when we do need to factor that in almost like an anchor. In relationship questions especially we need that anchor.
 

Julie_

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Oh yes that's true. And for sure it is very important to me advices which help to enlight the incomprehensible side of my situation.💐
 

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