Keep failing through years! 56.3.6>16

[viviank]

Hi fellow seekers!

It is long time since I posted here and discuss a reading. I hope everyone is well!
I decided to post tha reading and ask your opinion on something that is bothering the last 3 years! It is a matter of self awarness that come in light.
The story is: I had a flirt with a younger man that lives in an other city on and off for abou 2,5 years. Nothing serious but the last month or so it became gradually more intense and there was apparent from both of us that we should take it to next level at least physically. He knew quite a lot about me from a common friend, and I knew some for him but I didn't have the same access. I have to say that although nothing discussed explicitly about a serious relationship, he knew that I would like something more steady in my life now. From the other side he was a very energetic gentelman with the ladies but it seemed to be a great chemistry between us.
We hadn't seen each other for some months and he asked me a few days before to go with him to a football game in my town. He would come with a friend and it was an opportunity to see me, because he didn't had much time. At the meeting he was very attentive and towards the end he was holding me or hold my hand. When we said goodbay he asked me when I would go to his town and I asked him to send a message to let me know he arrived well. The next morning I didn't find any mesage and I called. He rejected the call with a message "I am sleeping. Goodmorning" That was it, I didn't hear from him since then. A few days later he posted in facebook that he was that the night before he was with a "chick"
I didn't understand what happed or what i did wrong. I went through a small emotional crisis and when things cleared I realised he was not the only one that did that to me . It reminded me that the past 3 - 4 years this happened twice more. I had a normal relationship for a few months but other than that it was exactly the same pattern.

So I asked: What I am doing wrong and that keeps happening?

56.3.6>16

I know that many of us in here keep asking about the matters of the heart but you have to admit that it's a big part of life. So I ask for your assistance. Sorry for the long post.

 

[Trojina]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong....except perhaps settling for too little in terms of commitment and so on.

53.3 speaks of resisting outlaws, it describes what happens when the husband leaves the home and does not return..., the wife does not carry the baby to term. All in all it is a picture of people not caring, not fulfilling their roles to one another. So you must not let this happen. You must be alert for signs of 'outlaws'. Outlaws don't care about people, they don't care if people are safe and happy in their homes, they are just out to take what they can. So this is symbolically showing that within your patterns of courtship (53) something happens, some carelessness, so that promises are not kept to, commitments not honoured.

So how can this be something you do wrong ? I don't know. From what you say it seems these men seem to offer some commitment and then just drop you. It is strange since this guy has known you for so long yet although he had known you for some time, you hadn't really been serious. I mean he offered to meet you at a football game with his friend. That's not romantic, it's very casual.

16 as the relating hexagram suggests to me it isn't that you are doing anything wrong you just aren't seeing the situation for what it is perhaps ? He's a younger man who only held your hand at a football game. You said he knew you wanted more and it seems he was not prepared to give it.

Maybe what you are doing is not caring for yourself properly in giving yourself away to guys who are effectively 'outlaws' ? Maybe these guys are like outlaws and you aren't picking up signals that they are ?

53.6 says you can bypass this whole pattern once you become aware of what is happening.

The relating hexagram is 58 and I am wondering if, even though he didn't take your calls, he will be back in touch again ? It hasn't been that long has it ?


I don't see this as about failing I see it as about perhaps you not taking enough care with yourself ? It is quite common to do that...Next time maybe look closer to see what the signals are and if the man is really being caring to you. You may need to look after your own interests more. You wouldn't let robbers in to your home, so don't let emotional outlaws in to your private life.

Reading your post the pattern of courtship was not familiar to me. I didn't quite understand. He hasn't courted you, dated you and so on. Rather it seems all unspoken suggestions and so on (very hex 16). Maybe you need to go with guys who do actually go through courtship with you ? Who ask you out, who you see regularly, whom you develop and established bond with. A man who asks you to a game with his friend there doesn't seem to be making an established bond just by holding your hand ?

However, we are in 53, it's gradual...perhaps he needs more time ? But if he returns let him know he needs to do things properly, that you expect a certain level of security with him. Don't settle for too little.

 

[Trojina]

someone just pointed out I wrote about the wrong hexagram !

It's 56 not 53....oh I'm too tired to rewrite it

It boils down to 'don't put your hope and trust and all that's precious into something fleeting.'

In lines 3 and 6 you build your hearth fire too big in your lodging house. I mean I think aspects of the reading are in what I wrote above so I will leave what I wrote there.

 

[viviank]

First of all thank you for your effort!
I saw your first post and I smiled because I draw this combination 53.3.6 asking about his intentions towards me -as far as I remember. SERENDIPITY? Oh my! You are really good! Not only you interpret the hexes but you find them as well. Something like: you with the red blouse you must have draw 41.6. I took 53.3 as not caring and leave the house uguarded. I never thought of them as the actual robbers. Thanks for the insight. I have to add that this is leading to 8 Seeking Union. And when I saw the combination 53 and 8 I was very happy and haven't thought the lines as thourghly as I should.

You wrote:
"It is strange since this guy has known you for so long yet although he had known you for some time, you hadn't really been serious"

You are right I have n't been serious with him because I thought that he wouldn't want anything serious with me -it's just defence- since he is 5 years younger and he can have any much younger woman than me. I know! You are going to tell me it doesn't matter but in reality it does. I sense that his friends discuss the age difference and advise him against me. And that makes me feel vunareble. Another factor is the distance I have to consider and he has too.

You wrote:
"Reading your post the pattern of courtship was not familiar to me."

To his credit he came twice in three months to my city - he leaves 4 hours away - and asked me out. I wasn't able the first time and the second I did it on purpose as a game. He asked me to come to the football game so we can see each other because he didn't had much time.

All in all you are right! I should ask for ... everything. Proper courtiship!

You wrote: '53.6 says you can bypass this whole pattern once you become aware of what is happening."

That's what I am trying to grasp, what's happening. My guess (and my gut) is that when we saw each other and spend a few hours together he realised that I am serious. These last 2 months I was subtly more demanding in the right courtship sense. So I am thinging not contact him to give him some space, to clear his mind and decide what he wants. He has a lot to think cause I am a heavy card (marriege age and want kids). I got one or two 50s (remember 50.2.3>35 and 50.2.3.6>16)

So what do you think now that the changing lines leads to 8 (53.3.6>8). It's been nearly ten days since our last contact but it wasn't an everyday communication. We were still in the flirt phase.