loneliness of a wonderer

[dragona]

Hello:bows: ,
this I wondered today: Tell me about my loneliness and how it will turn out for me? Hex 56.4,5 into 53
It figures, I am a Wonderer, without a place to belong. That is how I felt most of my life - I guess it started with my parents letting me know they wanted a boy and I was told some thing that left a mark in that sense. It is ok to be a Wonderer while growing up and forming yourself but I am not a loner, I am just alone, way too much left on my own and I am tired of it.
This is where the 4th line sits perfectly - a person who got stuck in a place that was meant to be transitional, but my ax is not as sharp as suggested, especially in financial sense.
I mention all of the above so someone could put the 5th line in a perspective for me as it speaks of reaching one`s climax and Tuck Chang advises: "quit while you are ahead" and Wilhelm speaks of "an office in the foreign country".
Perhaps I should read this as an optimistic outcome but the reality is crumbling down every option lately.
Perhaps someone had this cast, and can interpret it as it really doesn`t relate now.
Thank you:bows:

 

[foxx777]

Hello:bows: ,
this I wondered today: Tell me about my loneliness and how it will turn out for me? Hex 56.4,5 into 53
It figures, I am a Wonderer, without a place to belong. That is how I felt most of my life - I guess it started with my parents letting me know they wanted a boy and I was told some thing that left a mark in that sense. It is ok to be a Wonderer while growing up and forming yourself but I am not a loner, I am just alone, way too much left on my own and I am tired of it.
This is where the 4th line sits perfectly - a person who got stuck in a place that was meant to be transitional, but my ax is not as sharp as suggested, especially in financial sense.
I mention all of the above so someone could put the 5th line in a perspective for me as it speaks of reaching one`s climax and Tuck Chang advises: "quit while you are ahead" and Wilhelm speaks of "an office in the foreign country".
Perhaps I should read this as an optimistic outcome but the reality is crumbling down every option lately.
Perhaps someone had this cast, and can interpret it as it really doesn`t relate now.
Thank you:bows:

hmmm, we are kindred spirits of a sort. I have been a Wanderer very much against my will. Every "home" I have ever had - be it marriage, house, work, friends - has crumbled like quicksand beneath my feet.

I have received these lines. I interpret 4 as you do. Here is my "mentor's"interpretation:

56. The Traveler

Line 4:

The traveler has a place to stay.
He obtains some properties and an ax.
"My heart is not cheerful."

As a stranger, managing to get ones needs met, but not being really contented.

Line 5:

Shooting the pheasant.
One arrow lost in the end,
to improve life.

Getting rid of something, in order to improve one's life. This is a loss, but the loss is limited.

Hexagram is changing to:

53. Gradual Development

Gradual development.
The woman marries.
Good fortune.
It is beneficial to persist.

A gradual development is taking place. Things go well. It's good to persevere.
(The woman marrying refers to the gradual development that led to the actual marriage of a woman in the times of the Yijing.)

Legge on line 5 is :The fifth SIX, divided, shows its subject shooting a pheasant. He will lose his arrow, but in the end he will obtain praise and a (high) charge.

and Lofting reads it thusly:
"Shooting a pheasant. One shot (arrow) kills it. In the end one receives heavenly praise." [Removing that which retains (symbolizes) authority (tradition).]

 

[foxx777]

I have received line 5 many times, and still do not know what the heck it means, or how it has panned out. Usually I appear to suffer a loss, but get a "high office" and praise in the end, in some different form - but that usually ends badly as well.

 

[mirian]

Dear dragona,

I had a "Hex 56 phase" quite a while ago and that is how I see your reading based on my own experience of both the hexagram and your lines.

Line 4 is describing the person consulting the Yi. Being a wanderer for quite some time you have found a place for yourself that gives you some sort of shelter, just a bit of comfort, but far from what you want to be. And that means both - in practical and emotional aspects. Having being at odds with your external environment (people, situations, etc...) for such a long time you have become defensive, you don't know who you can trust, what resources and/or circumstances you can rely on. You feel that you should always be ready to defend yourself from whatever it might be.

Line 5 is describing how this situation is going to change - or it can be changed. I see this line as very positive (and if you ever come across one of my posts you will see that I don't do sugar coating)

Being a wanderer has got its advantages. You acquire knowledge, your learn skills, you reflect on life. All those resources can be -or should be- used now to take you out of the "forever wanderer" picture. You put you axe down and start using your resources/knowledge/skills about people, life in general, abilities you have, etc...

I see Hex 53 as the backdrop, your gradual development from the wanderer to your next stage/position in life. It is not something happening out of the blue, it is just the natural process that you have been through.

I know it is not easy, I have been there, got the T-shirt, but as I said I see your reading at your advantage, it is showing that your situation is changing, even though you might be thinking that it is just taking too long.

Hope that helps, all the best.

 

[dragona]

Thank you both,though I am not saying that being a Wonderer is not in the nature of a double (young) Aquarius but it leaves that bitter aftertaste and lately as I said it has come to the point of ridiculous. Feels a bit like Bruce`s case, actually...

I think I understood the lines correctly, 5th is about one who seeks an acceptance in a foreign place and gets it by showing (off) its aptitude.
I was hoping for a more practical interpretation because right now I cannot understand what it relates to: a foreign country, different settings, somebody`s heart? Leads to 53 after all..or yearns..
It is just that there is a wast difference in will be and can be so in that context, I wondered...it s my second nature, after all

Line 5:
Shooting the pheasant.
One arrow lost in the end,
to improve life.
Getting rid of something, in order to improve one's life. This is a loss, but the loss is limited.B.
5. The fifth SIX, divided, shows its subject shooting a pheasant. He will lose his arrow, but in the end he will obtain praise and a (high) charge.
He shoots a pheasant. L.
It drops with the first arrow.
In the end this brings both praise and office.W.

The translations vary here as meanings could...looses an arrow vs. shooting a pheasant or loss vs. gain as I see it .. to me it made sense what Wilhelm explained but perhaps i ought to loose something to gain something else?

 

[hopex]

Dragona - thank you for mentiioning Bruce in dispatches -
he is honoured

I see 56 implying that you would do well to travel - not as
a break or holiday but as a quest for meaning. Maybe your
intuition in quiet meditation over time will reveal a place
- maybe Egypt for arguments sake that you could look into.

I remember a while ago you had a casting that was urging you
to delve deeply into a passion. Sometimes 56 applies to the
vacillations of our spirits in response to what we have/or are
attracting into our lives. I often feel that 56 is a worrying hexagram
when we are in dire need of anchoring stability or permanence in
our lives (or when an old structure has left us eg empty nest syndrome)

You mention aquarius - I see 56 as saggitarius the traveller and
philosopher. This may be a suggestion to explore what enduring/
permanance looks like for you. I say this in that 53 describes the
courtship leading to stable marriage. Namely a secure resting place
- in life and more importantly soul.

just a few ramblings take what you like and leave the rest

hee hee - someone said Bruce looked the way I feel

 

[hopex]

ps - vis a vis your old casting. I was very lost after
collapse of old relationship and a motor accident. The
only thing I could get excited about was houses - very
very very old and beautiful houses -so without a penny
and multiple injuries - I walked drove and took in every
nook and cranny of fine old buildings and filled my head
with the subject. I drew and planned until one day it was
my career. Not the original intention - initially I was looking
for positive and life affirming distraction from my woes

 

[dragona]

Dragona - thank you for mentioning Bruce in dispatches -
he is honoured sweet..as I do remember saying on your first cast that he was overdue waiting to the point of snapping as you told latter - well, now you know I could relate

I see 56 implying that you would do well to travel - not as
a break or holiday but as a quest for meaning. Maybe your
intuition in quiet meditation over time will reveal a place
- maybe Egypt for arguments sake that you could look into.
I was thinking of moving, I still do but I have no means to push myself forward yet tho not leaving the house for over 2 years for more then half a day could make a Wonderer nuts

I remember a while ago you had a casting that was urging you
to delve deeply into a passion. Sometimes 56 applies to the
vacillations of our spirits in response to what we have/or are
attracting into our lives. I often feel that 56 is a worrying hexagram
when we are in dire need of anchoring stability or permanence in
our lives (or when an old structure has left us eg empty nest syndrome)
Which casting was that?

You mention aquarius - I see 56 as saggitarius the traveller and
philosopher. This may be a suggestion to explore what enduring/
permanance looks like for you. I say this in that 53 describes the
courtship leading to stable marriage. Namely a secure resting place
- in life and more importantly soul.
I have something like 4 planets in Sag.and Venus in Capricorn..you are free to guess where my Moon is

just a few ramblings take what you like and leave the rest
Hardly rambling, hardly..

hee hee - someone said Bruce looked the way I feel
That is why I like cats

 

[meng]

Hello:bows: ,
this I wondered today: Tell me about my loneliness and how it will turn out for me? Hex 56.4,5 into 53
It figures, I am a Wonderer, without a place to belong. That is how I felt most of my life - I guess it started with my parents letting me know they wanted a boy and I was told some thing that left a mark in that sense. It is ok to be a Wonderer while growing up and forming yourself but I am not a loner, I am just alone, way too much left on my own and I am tired of it.
This is where the 4th line sits perfectly - a person who got stuck in a place that was meant to be transitional, but my ax is not as sharp as suggested, especially in financial sense.
I mention all of the above so someone could put the 5th line in a perspective for me as it speaks of reaching one`s climax and Tuck Chang advises: "quit while you are ahead" and Wilhelm speaks of "an office in the foreign country".
Perhaps I should read this as an optimistic outcome but the reality is crumbling down every option lately.
Perhaps someone had this cast, and can interpret it as it really doesn`t relate now.
Thank you:bows:

Hi Dragona. It seems a sharp contrast between the abiding dignity and gradual development of 53 and the moving along quickly of a fire running to new fuel to continue to exist - 56. This about your loneliness. So I hear it saying to decide which you really want, and then move ahead with it.

 

[meng]

Or, meet a partner that's into the same need for the same kind of changes as yours. Then you can experiment, travel fast and leave the past in the past, or travel in a slow and measured way, if that's the natural chemistry of you as a couple, or as an individual. But with each attachment we gain, a piece of our freedom shall we lose. It depends on the time. "Times change and with them, their demands." You have the tools, but are not especially happy about them - all in your regard to your loneliness. You can fix the lonely problem, if you want to. Question may be, are you able or willing yet to slow down enough for it?

 

[dragona]

Or, meet a partner that's into the same need for the same kind of changes as yours. Then you can experiment, travel fast and leave the past in the past, or travel in a slow and measured way, if that's the natural chemistry of you as a couple, or as an individual. But with each attachment we gain, a piece of our freedom shall we lose. It depends on the time. "Times change and with them, their demands." You have the tools, but are not especially happy about them - all in your regard to your loneliness. You can fix the lonely problem, if you want to. Question may be, are you able or willing yet to slow down enough for it?

Yes, that was the idea but if fell through..perhaps that is the arrow that got loss?
My tools are just not very usable now and the ax is getting duller by day..
I am as slow as a tired zombie..can`t get slower than this while breathing.

 

[meng]

Now I'm questioning whether something from your past is holding you prisoner in the present. If you've slowed down that much it's either because you're physically used up and waiting to die, or that something has stolen your self confidence or your vision or something which would disconnect your desire with your energy and belief to fulfill them.

 

[answeredquestions]

Dragona,

Hi there. Here are some thoughts on 56..

The Image via Wikiwing:

'Above the mountain is fire: the wanderer.
The noble one is enlightened and thoughtful in administering punishments, and doesn't draw out legal proceedings.'

I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself, don't judge yourself so strongly.. There are places where everyone feels out of place and instead of thinking of yourself like an outcast, think of yourself more like an individual with something special to give the world.

56 via Wikiwing:

‘Sojourner, creating small success.
Sojourning, constancy brings good fortune.’

This seems to be saying baby steps towards feeling at home (this also reflects your relating hexagram - 53). The general advice is that you are in a 'place' that is not comfortable or familiar. Small steps to work your way towards an inner peace. The feeling of inner peace is something that you will get familiar with and call home.

Line 4 Wikiwing:

'Wanderer in a shelter,
Gains property and an axe.
My heart is not glad.'

Here it seems you are setting up shop in your 'zombie' state. Instead of searching for a better state, you give up and settle for something unhappy and dull. You should not settle for this and again use the advice above. Slowly emerge from your lull, get out into the sun and take a walk, look around and see what makes you happy, laugh, and what makes you you.

When you do this on your own, later when you come in contact with people and you are feeling more 'at home' in your skin, you will gain the friendship that you really desire to have and you will not feel lonely. But also try and appreciate being alone and just listening to your breathing while you are walking, or listening to your mind as you are thinking, and be happy you have the ability to discern these things, because they are great tools. Be happy about your differences so that you don't turn your understandings of yourself into a weapon against yourself. Capeesh?

Line 5 Wikiwing:

'Shooting a pheasant,
Gets it with one arrow.
And so in the end, praise and a mandate.’

Shooting a pheasant = Aiming for a goal. The goal is up to you, but it seems, because of your question, that it is to acheive not feeling lonely.

About the arrow.. there are different translations but they all boil down to acheivement (or recognition). One translation might say that you will loss one arrow but eventually hit your target, another translation might say that you hit it in one shot. Either way, the end result is a good one. You will find your purpose and what makes you feel that warm feeling inside no matter where you are at.


And just an observation, Wonderer and Wanderer... they are linked. The mind wonders and wanders. But line 5 is saying that this wondering and wandering needs a goal to aim at.

 

[dragona]

meng, of course, everything is connected, my fault is that i think too much and thus do much less and the circumstances i helped creating are wearing me down. its simple as that.

answeredquestions, interesting how what you wrote makes me angry..i went through all of that, meditating, listening, caring, trying, patience, kindness to people, appreciation ... and here we are.
Be happy about your differences so that you don't turn your understandings of yourself into a weapon against yourself. it was bound to happen to an over thinker.

question of loneliness is not of an distinctive nature, it is something that follows and lingers all of the time, come to think of it and as i wrote before, if one was led to believe that being born into its family was a mistake, why wonder? this thread just started to feel as a mistake..

 

[answeredquestions]

well I hope I didn't affend you. I wrote everything hoping it would help.

I see a lot of myself in you.. I have always thought that since you started posting.

Side note: Do you ever listen to the band named Tool?
I have slipped away from liking harder stuff like their music, but I still highly appreciate it.

Sample lyric from the song Lateralus:

Over thinking,
over analyzing,
separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition,
missing opportunities,
and I must feed my will to feel my moment
drawing way outside the lines.

It's quite a stunning video too!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDlC7oG_2W4
(hope the link works, I am at work and can't test videos)

Again, I mean the best just come off wrong sometimes. I am sorry I made you angry.

 

[precision grace]

Hello:bows: ,
this I wondered today: Tell me about my loneliness and how it will turn out for me? Hex 56.4,5 into 53
It figures, I am a Wonderer, without a place to belong. That is how I felt most of my life - I guess it started with my parents letting me know they wanted a boy and I was told some thing that left a mark in that sense. It is ok to be a Wonderer while growing up and forming yourself but I am not a loner, I am just alone, way too much left on my own and I am tired of it.
This is where the 4th line sits perfectly - a person who got stuck in a place that was meant to be transitional, but my ax is not as sharp as suggested, especially in financial sense.
I mention all of the above so someone could put the 5th line in a perspective for me as it speaks of reaching one`s climax and Tuck Chang advises: "quit while you are ahead" and Wilhelm speaks of "an office in the foreign country".
Perhaps I should read this as an optimistic outcome but the reality is crumbling down every option lately.
Perhaps someone had this cast, and can interpret it as it really doesn`t relate now.
Thank you:bows:

Maybe read this one: http://www.pathfinder.3rdmilieux.com/i-ching-tao-of-power-art-of-war-hexagram-56-adventure.html

I like to read 56 as reminder of transitional nature of everything. You are in the state of mind of loneliness, but this too shall pass..

 

[ginnie]

Sometimes I think the problem of "my heart is not glad" in 56.4 comes about because we just haven't decided to be happy with what we already have. Some say the feeling of happiness must come first and then the other changes will come. HAPPY is something we decide to be and is not dependent on anything external. The darned ego, though, doesn't want us to know this or be able to apply it; for example, when we're alone the ego has us pining all day for companionship.

 

[dragona]

Thanks to all,

Sometimes I think the problem of "my heart is not glad" in 56.4 comes about because we just haven't decided to be happy with what we already have. Some say the feeling of happiness must come first and then the other changes will come. HAPPY is something we decide to be and is not dependent on anything external. The darned ego, though, doesn't want us to know this or be able to apply it; for example, when we're alone the ego has us pining all day for companionship.

This is an quite extreme living situation, ginnie, I would not ask such an expanded question if it was just something I could put in some sort of perspective.
Ego is the greatest enemy of all, but it is a tricky one...lately I have the urge to speak up to astonishment of most who were used of my distant approach, taking it as an uninterested one as in fact, I try to shield myself that way.

And can you guess what is the sentence I say the most during the day to my mother? "Just leave me alone"

PG, I often go check that page out and it does work for me in this case.
Answredquestions, I understand you meant only well, and I thank you for that. Guess, the reason that makes me angry is that I have "been there, done that" and the same thing just goes in circles.
So this is why I am stressing again that this feeling does not seem transitional to me.

 

[bamboo]

Don't struggle with the loneliness. Dive into it. Be fully there. There is something there for you. When you have exhausted any struggle, there comes an opening, almost by default. This is always true.

 

[iams girl]

So, being into trigrams right now…

56 - Outer: Fire/Mountain (F/M). Inner: Lake, joy (L)/Gentle, wind, wood (W/W)
53 - Outer: Gentle, wind, wood (W/W)/Mountain (M). Inner: Fire (F)/Water (W)

...For 56, related to your outer sense of things, I'd read it as outwardly seeking improvement (F) through patience (M) appears to require inwardly balancing joy (F) and perseverance (W/W).

And, 53, related to your inner sense of things, I'd read it as things are transitioning (W/W) to a better future because there’s a good foundation here (M). But, inside you’re having a hard time seeing clearly (F) while feeling swamped (W).

As you’ve mentioned, the joy part seems to be the weak link. Maybe I'm just saying what others have already said with a new spin on it, but I’d focus on 56.5, “he may find a circle of friends and a sphere of activity even in a strange country.” Travel to a real foreign country might be great, but sans finances, how about just checking out that new shop around the corner? A scrabble club at a local Barnes and Noble? An actual support group of some sorts perhaps? One of my favorite quote from Wayne Muller is, “We become what we have cared for; our lives are shaped by what we love.” Does that lead anywhere for you? Like Bamboo said, discovering that opening...

 

[dragona]

As I said, I just had a blow, I let myself be weak and now am disappointed. The embrace of the same old state would be wanted by default, but I grew out of it. There is another way to live.
I am not fighting it even, I think, it is just to o heartbreaking to reflect on things but i wondered what and why..I think it is not desperate, to question things.
I like what you do with the trigrams, iamsgirl, I only try to grasp it as I draw the outcome of casting, almost automatically, but I think it is one step more to go in interpretation.

 

[hopex]

i think what everyone has said is true - plastering over feelings
only leads to numbness...

loving to be with oneself gets rid of loneliness - my dogwalking friend
asked if i got lonely - since I appreciate my own company - i do not.
I read somewhere if you dont like being with you then how can you expect
someone else to be being with you. I fill my 'lonely' hours making something
for the peron I miss ( knitted a fishing sweater for my son)

also the virtual community helps us not be isolated. Be with loneliness - sit
and have tea with it and ask it what it has come to teach you..
I made the amazing discovery as I had hopeless I want out of this life feelings -
amazinly rather than fight it I lay down and went into it - guess what it passed.

I got up and life went on - i learnt feelings dont hurt you - fighting them does.
this is the inner 56 journey maybe - as Ginnie say acceptance is the key -
being grateful for what is turns stuck situations around

 

[bamboo]

"The reason Old Souls enjoy spending time alone is because they never really are." Mike Dooley

Two winters ago, the icicles on a bush outside of my meditation room formed the perfect shape of an angel with wings. I took pictures of it and in one of the pictures, it was surrounded by dozens of what a photographer/'ghost hunter friend of mine calls "spirit orbs"....

when I looked at it, I thought how at any moment we may indeed be surrounded by loving benevolent spirits and guides who want only to assist us in awakening to larger reality. And what if all the time, we thought we were alone! we never really are.

I also recommend this cd set. It is so beautiful. and the first chapter on sacred solitude is worth the price all by itself.
http://www.amazon.com/Anam-Cara-Joh...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339634012&sr=1-1

 

[iams girl]

So, being into trigrams right now…

56 - Outer: Fire/Mountain (F/M). Inner: Lake, joy (L)/Gentle, wind, wood (W/W)
53 - Outer: Gentle, wind, wood (W/W)/Mountain (M). Inner: Fire (F)/Water (W)

...For 56, related to your outer sense of things, I'd read it as outwardly seeking improvement (F) through patience (M) appears to require inwardly balancing joy (F) and perseverance (W/W).

And, 53, related to your inner sense of things, I'd read it as things are transitioning (W/W) to a better future because there’s a good foundation here (M). But, inside you’re having a hard time seeing clearly (F) while feeling swamped (W).

Correction to 56 after rereading:

56 - Outer: Fire (F)/Mountain (M). Inner: Lake, joy (L)/Gentle, wind, wood (W/W)

...For 56, related to your outer sense of things, I'd read it as outwardly seeking improvement (F) through patience (M) appears to require inwardly balancing joy (L) and perseverance (W/W).

 

[dragona]

Stumbled upon this thread as yesterday i got 56.2,4,5 into 57 ....wondering if I made progress? hm hm....
and your very attentive responses is nice to return to again :hugs:

 

[meng]

"The reason Old Souls enjoy spending time alone is because they never really are." Mike Dooley

I missed your post, and like it. What you began with, quoted above, is a relief for me to read today. So a belated thank you.