Looks like I've been dumped... 35.1.4 > 27

[samoyedgrrl]

I had agreed to see a man on an exclusive basis who is currently separated. He let me know in no uncertain terms that his eight year marriage was over, they had never really existed as a couple as they kept separate bank accounts, had lived apart for long periods of time and as a matter of fact, she moved in with her parents a few months ago.

I was reluctant to get involved with a man of this marital status, but with this level of reassurance, how openly he shared information about himself, answered any question I asked (no matter how personal they were) and how nervous he was on our first date I figured I could trust him. Yeah. That was until about a week and a half ago, when he broke our date because he was ill. I haven't heard from him since. He has not responded to any text or voice messages since then. He's vanished.

Looks like it's over. That's what any logical mind would easily see. My heart does not want to listen. I really saw a potential with this guy and I don't want to believe it is over. So, I asked Yi to help me understand.

I asked "What action(s) should I take to have a chance at reconciliation with him?" 52 Unchanging. That's pretty easy. Nothing. Remain still.

Then I asked if anything would continue with us. "Will we reconcile?" I received 35.1.4 > 27 I think that line 1 is showing his lack of response to me, how he's ignoring at this point. Line 4 - is that showing my feelings of loss or is that his feeling of not being able to handle it all right now? In addition to the impending divorce, he also has an elderly mother with Alzheimer's who lives alone on the other side of the country. He is to take a trip to spend time with her in a couple of weeks "before she really gets bad" as he put it - almost a farewell trip, so to speak. Is that the scattered energies he's feeling? Or is it about my feelings?

27 is nourishment. I think Yi is throwing it back on me and telling me to take care of myself. I'm actually in the process of making pizza dough, so maybe Yi is saying, "Stop thinking about this and go work on your pizza, child. You'll get more out of that than worrying about this ungrateful sot."

I then thought perhaps I'm phrasing it wrong. I asked Yi, "What is the current status of our relationship?" I mean, there may not be any reconciliation if in his mind we are still together. (That would be the heart speaking there ) I received a 2.1.3.6 > 22.

I see line 1 explaining how things are apparently cold between us, like ice has fallen over everything. Line 3 speaks of the greater good. Am I the sacrificial lamb for the bigger picture? Line 6 shows an argument and getting to the heart of the problem. 22 always reminds me to be polite and have self-control. I need to see that, since I've gotten close to giving him a piece of my mind via voicemail, email or text a few times in the past couple of days.

I don't see anything encouraging here. I would love it if there is some little glimmer of hope that I'm not reading here....at least that's what my heart really wants help in finding. Thanks for your insights, whether it reinforces my head or my heart's thoughts. Thanks!

 

[ginnie]

"What action(s) should I take to have a chance at reconciliation with him?" 52 Unchanging. That's pretty easy. Nothing. Remain still.

You got it! Meditate and quiet your own thoughts . . . When we receive 52 unchanging from the I Ching, the meaning is almost invariably to stop asking questions. To quiet the mind, it helps to sit absolutely still, not moving a muscle, until the thoughts stop.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks for the confirmation, Ginnie. Why is it that (at least in my case) romantic situations send us into some sort of overanalysis mode? Wish I could quiet my mind and find peace.

 

[Tohpol]

Will we reconcile?
35.1.4 > 27

The Yi certainly seems to be saying that it's important for you to reduce the mind chatter. Try to be objective in the face of emotional storms and keep your mind fresh and open. Don't be dragged down by compulsive speculation based on your perceived source of nourishment. Nonetheless, there is progress.

"What is the current status of our relationship?"
2.1.3.6 > 22

There's change afoot, that's obvious. Line suggests letting things emerge, gently, slowly so that you can come into your own naturally, without stress or fuss and with nothing forced. Stay receptive to life and don't allow essential parts of your psyche to do battle over this issue. When we let go of the struggle the Gordian knots tend to untie themselves.

Overall, the Yi is giving you a gentle pat on the back and encouraging you to be gentle with yourself during this period. Better times will come. Whether that means reconciliation or moving on to a person who treats you with respect, is difficult to say.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

There's change afoot, that's obvious. Line suggests letting things emerge, gently, slowly so that you can come into your own naturally, without stress or fuss and with nothing forced. Stay receptive to life and don't allow essential parts of your psyche to do battle over this issue. When we let go of the struggle the Gordian knots tend to untie themselves.

Overall, the Yi is giving you a gentle pat on the back and encouraging you to be gentle with yourself during this period. Better times will come. Whether that means reconciliation or moving on to a person who treats you with respect, is difficult to say.

You are so right, Topal. I need to give the worrying, the stressing, the "what ifs" line of thought a rest. Nothing will be accomplished by it. Easy to logically understand, very difficult to convince my heart that's needed at this time. Regardless of who I will be with in the future, he must give me respect and not treat me so cruelly. I agree. Thanks for your interpretations. I really appreciate it!

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Update

Did a little Facebook stalking and discovered he got back together with his ex. What a spineless way to back out of our relationship. Oh well. Karma's a b*tch.

Onward and upward for me...

 

[goddessliss]

Good on you sam - I've 'busted' so many online dating guys this way re the truth. FB is good for that sort of thing. - Liss

 

[kincadefoster]

This is almost exactly what happened to me. A few details were different, like her boyfriend was a cheater and had hit her, they weren't married, but had been together 8 years...