Meeting Mr Right 56.5>33

[aiyana]

My boyfriend and I recently split and are trying again, however the same issues are coming up. I asked the Yi, what sort of man do I have, receiving Hex 30 Unchanging. A fleeting fancy, I presume. Next I asked, what is the right man for me and received Hex 53 Unchanging. A man with honorable intentions who takes things slowly.

How do I meet the right man for me? Yi responded 56.5 changing to Hex 33. Just move on alone and someone will show up, retreating from current circumstances?

 

[literunner]

Hi,
I have received 56.5 as well and yes it has meant to interact in new circles, bring your best to them and people will see your worth and value what you have to contribute. To retreat from the circles you've been in if they don't see your worth.
Hope that is helpful,
LR

 

[oponopono]

Dear aiyana,

wondering if this comes from your personal knowledge about him, intuition or your take on 30 :

what sort of man do I have, receiving Hex 30 Unchanging. A fleeting fancy, I presume.

I would not have read it like that, I guess. Flame outside and flame inside for me would result in a fiery guy burning for me. Ok it is not an hexagram for passion, but for clarity, but cant this mean he is clear in what he wants from you ?

Because in that sense 53 could mean sticking with this guy and investing in slowly making it work.

But I guess you know better, and if your intuition is telling he is not the right one, then 56 / 33
retreat from it and be among strangers, meet new people...
when I read the line I just thought : wow, love at first sight !


All the best,
yoana

 

[rosada]

I also question that 30. means this friendship is going to burn out. I don't see it as meaning the fellow is burning for you either, however. Rather I think the I Ching is saying that you are two separate but equal flames. Thus when you ask what sort of a man he is the I Ching seems to be saying he is basically the same as you. Perhaps this could also indicate that both of you tend to be firey whereas a relationship needs one partner to play the calm, receptive role.

53 then suggests to me that a good relationship for you is with a man who courts you, step by step.
This could be your current relationship if you do not try to go too far too fast. I think it is interesting that your next question gave you 56.5 > 33. Because you knew your current partner before, perhaps you have just taken up where you left off when really you needed to 33. Retreat back to square one, back to where you were 56. Wanderers, foreign to each other, and then from there proceed carefully, 53, so that when the difficulties become apparent you do not leap over them but stop and resolve them before moving closer.

If you really don't feel to put in more time with the current friend I think the I Ching is telling you he's a 30. regular guy but you are burned out with each other. The right man for you is someone who is willing to court you one step at a time (perhaps your first friend was too firey, wanting to move forward too fast). To meet the right man first get used to being on your own and no need to put yourself out there too aggressively.

Seems like a lot here is saying slow down.

-rosada

 

[aiyana]

Thank you for your comments. Beyond providing good food for thought, I'm reminded that there are many ways there are to interpret a single hex. And I thought the line 5's were the straightforward ones.

The interpretation of 30 being a relationship burning out was based on Lise's opening words interpreting Hex 30: 'Moments fly past like birds. You will have to catch them right now, to enjoy something when it happens'. I also imagine fire burning out as in 30.4 'Then arising suddenly, then praised, then dying, then thrown away.'

Literunner, It does take a reminder for me to seek out nourishing company as I'm quite shy by nature and have made the mistake of defaulting to a convenient social group, eventually deciding 'I'm wasting my time, this isn't my tribe at all.' I've often received a hexagram changing line 2 (don't remember which hex) that counsels that I have been going to the wrong sources for nourishment. 56.5 then would be advising to show my best self & the correct situation will arrive.

Yoanna, he is a firey Leo, he says he wants nothing more than to be with me again. We split over a month ago and he is, at this stage anyway, very persistent. It's perhaps me who is uncertain - this relationship was so consuming (double fire??) that the rest of my life suffered due to lack of balance.

Rosada, your comment on 30 is interesting particularly in light of how the relationship developed. Initially I was the firey one, he became more assertive in the final months which I welcomed -- I didn't want to be the boss at work and at home as well. After a short break we did indeed pick up where we left off and it was a disaster - I've since broken it off again. (The first time in my life I've had an on/off dynamic with a boyfriend - it's maddening!) I'm now re-focusing on moving forward in my own life and goals, as 33 advises and am slowing down generally.

I am still in love with him and asked the Yi why. Response Hex 24.3.4.6 changing to 30. There's the 30 again. 24.6 is a scary line to me, as if all I've achieved in returning to myself will be for nothing if this relationship continues. Or is the line referring to my initiating the breakup when it warns, 'To set the army marching ends in a great defeat, causing the country ruler a pitfall'. It's so hard to get clarity when emotionally involved in a question. Thanks again for the generous feedback so far.