Move or keep saving $ with stressful roommate? 55.3 to 51

[poeticwalking]

I've been in a roommate situation that has been increasingly stressful. I live with 4 others- one of whom I work with. Her partner owns the house. The woman I work with is very controlling of everything in the house and in general has an attitude of blaming others for all of her problems- I've seen this at work, in the house, and also with her relationship. I also started getting anxiety symptoms from the many screaming fights I witnessed last year- including ones that would happen while I was in the same room. They don't happen as much now but even the slightest bit of them raising voices really makes me anxious. I would say that while I can get stressed and even depressed, the anxiety feeling is pretty new to me. This roommate as well has occasionally said mean stuff to me as I was often asked to fill in her job when she would decline to participate in projects (after we asked time and time again what she would like to do, and we could set everything up for her) or simply not show up (not for anything major or paying super well, but, holy moly, so unprofessional). Things like: "You are stabbing me in the heart" [doing HER part of work] - even tho she said she didn't want to do it. Also some initial jealousy over my new awesome bf, she even tried to flirt w/him once or twice tho that got shut down pretty quickly

Really don't see how I'm going to avoid working with her so moving was the answer. I had a potential roommate bail last Nov and the wind got out of my sails, I decided to focus on paying some debts. Now getting antsy again, I can't focus to get my work I need to do at home since I always feel on eggshells and tense.

I asked Yi "Should I focus on saving up money to move right now instead of paying off debts first/saving for house?"
51.3 to 55

It seems like definitely I need to wait, it is close to a point of fullness but not there yet. I am too overwhelmed still to do anything? But maybe prepare.

51 I could see a very obvious shock brewing- I was told from other coworkers that she told some people on a trip that she was going to break up w/her partner at end of summer, they were still going to room together tho while she saved up $ (she doesn't make a lot, tho refuses to take some smaller paying things not in main field consistently offered). But she did not tell me this (you can bet she complains to me about every little thing he does, and will ask me for random advice on money. Has been hinting she will break with him for a year now). Recently she has been hanging more with a mutual friend who is recently single, flirting with him in public. I know her bf is 100% in the dark about her intention to break up, if that's indeed true, and they've been going on dates like normal. So that's an obvious way it seems it could play out, but I guess if I can see it, maybe it's not a shock?

Any thoughts?

PS as a side note my roommates are all in agreement, basically spend v little time here, or in their rooms- tho I guess they're better at ignoring since they don't work with her also.

 

[diamanda]

Should I focus on saving up money to move right now instead of paying off debts first/saving for house?
51.3 > 55
The line describes how, when we're in a state of shock, we need to act. You described how you're in a situation of constant shock / anxiety, so what matters right now is that you act to eliminate shock from your life. Debts can wait - your own health and sanity can't. Perhaps she'll break up with her current boyfriend, perhaps she won't. I believe the line describes what you need to do, in any case your question was also asking about what you need to do. You need to take immediate action. Is there anything else you could do? Saving up to move sounds a bit of a slow process - is there anything else, more immediate, that you could possibly do?