moving on

[rose]

Listener said :
If you really want to inquire further, maybe ask a question like "what can i expect from this relationship now?" and , one of my favorites "what is the best attitude for me to have now in regards to this person?"

I asked "How should I view the relationship ( we had a relationship,broke up, met again, i wrote him the letter, he didnt reply and is probably over it, I have taken it to be the end) with him now?
I got 21.1.4.6 > 2

I think I didnt ask the right Q there. It is different to "what can I expect from this relationship now". I am trying to figure if it is indeed different to the Q i was meant to ask.

Then I asked "What attitute should I take with regards to him?"
i got 8.1.2 > 60

i dont really understand Hex 8 abt grouping.

I hope Yi speaks to me through you, with thanks.

 

[rosada]

21.1.4.6 > 2. The lines in 21 are a warning against trying to reactivate this man's interest. You wrote him once and got no responce which was mildly embarassing, 21.1. Don't try again, his continuing silence would only make you feel more like a fool. 21.4 Warns it will be a real challange not to reach out again. Indeed, 21.6 says you probably will. Ouch! Anyway, in answer to your question, as it stands now you needn't expect anything other than these aftershocks, these reacuring urges to try to keep the connection alive. If you can let these urges flow through you with out acting on them you'll soon be over this completely. Meanwhile, there is nothing further that need be said - hex.2. There are no misunderstandings to be discussed or explained. The energies are all dissipating and soon you will realize it's time to move on.

8.1.2 > 60. 8 is union and 60 is limitation. File him away as having been a decent friendship that ran its course, "a guy I used to know". If you find yourself obsessing over him I would feel the I Ching is urging you here to LIMIT the attention you give this memory.

 

[rose]

thanks Rosada,

I asked the Q in retrospect - looking back at the relationship. So I guess by what Rosada is saying, 1. I tried, 2.then it was a real challenge for me to quit trying, 3. then i tried again- which is when I wrote him the letter. And now it's all over, and energies are dissipating.

It's really interesting with regards to Hex 8, cos I used Stephen Karcher's Book of I-Ching for lovers, friends and relationships. Changing lines 1 and 2 sound so positive. I can gather from the main hex 8 it is abt changing how i group and view people, in this case him. But using my book I could have never gathered that I had to file him as a "guy I used to know".

I asked the Q right this time "What can I expect of the relationship with him now?"
I got Hex 9. no changing lines.

Does that mean expect nothing big, it's nurturing small, and that's that. I am trying to work on my interpretation.

thanks

 

[dobro p]

I asked "How should I view the relationship ( we had a relationship,broke up, met again, i wrote him the letter, he didnt reply and is probably over it, I have taken it to be the end) with him now?
I got 21.1.4.6 > 2

I think I didnt ask the right Q there. It is different to "what can I expect from this relationship now". I am trying to figure if it is indeed different to the Q i was meant to ask.

I think the Yi understood the intention of your question no matter what particular words you used. 21's about forcefully working through an obstacle to the way things should be, and 2's about ACTIVELY CHOOSING to accept what's coming to and through you. You want to know about the relationship, and the Yi's saying something like: "Work through the challenge of accepting the situation with energy now."

Then I asked "What attitute should I take with regards to him?"
i got 8.1.2 > 60

i dont really understand Hex 8 abt grouping.

8's about uniting around a central idea, and 60's about periodic limits. You've decided the relationship is over, yes? That means you should find a way to make this idea central; you're going to have to repeat the impression again and again, but you should limit your exposure to it and not overdo it because it would be too harsh on you to wallow in it or beat yourself up with it. You can't ignore the wasteland, but neither should you succumb to it.

 

[mudpie]

Dear Rose,
i love your answers to those questions.

Even though Karchers text about 8 might seem hopeful in regards to a relationship, in this case your question was about the best attitude to have towrds him. And 8 1 and 2 are beautiful lines when it relates to how to view this man and your relationship. I think what rosada said about "filing him away" is fitting because 8 can be about how to group things in our mind, what "file" to put it in, so to speak. and 60 is also a lot like how to file things, how to clarify things in our minds, give them the proper attention, neither wallow nor ignore, as dobro says.

8.1 talks about a completion of some kind, but also a plain cup overflowing with sincerity. It seems your feelings about him and the relationship were/are very sweet and pure, and this is a good feeling to take with you from this. It is never wrong to love anyone and with this pureness, even tho now it has caused you sorrow, you will attract to you the right people/person for you. With pure sincerity ( and maybe the willingness to be vulnerable) others are drawn to you.

and 8.2 is about finding your "inside connection" and perhaps that is a good thing to take away from this too. You have encountered something in yourself that can give you some self-reliance in the long run. In any case, these are the most beneficial attitude to have towrds this....according to the Yi.

the 21 and lines say you tried hard, and found the heart of the matter, and maybe didnt want to hear the truth. 9 is to now be gentle with yourself, nurture the nice memories, go with the flow, allow your sensitivity to accumulate what you need in small ways. 9 talks of rain gathering, maybe a period of grieving for this? if he does communicate, I would prepared for only small satisfaction.
all the best to you, Rose

 

[maremaria]

Then I asked "What attitute should I take with regards to him?"
i got 8.1.2 > 60
.

Hi Rose,
I don't have the experience the others have in this thread, but wanted to tell you my thoughts. I got a lot of 8 lately and imo, Yi gave you a really beautiful answer. The way I see it ,based on my own experience with 8, Yi might say , stand by yourself, keep every aspect (your inner group of people) of youself together(8) and then everything will take its own proper place (60).
When I was trying to grasp the meaning of 8, this image of 8 helped me a lot. (click on 8)

Wish you the best,
Maria

 

[rosada]

Dobro, You got the light bulbs flashing! Thank you! I've always looked at 2. The Receptive as just saying "This is the way it is," but I never understood what to do about it. Now you say hexagram 2 comes up when we need to ACCEPT that this is the way it is.

Ah-so.
Rosada