My life is a constant mess

[oceangirl]

For years I seemed to have had one drama after another - the last year I've had a couple of domestic violent situations,not earning the wage I should have been earning due to red tape, loss of a job due to someone accusing me of something I didn't do and now a loss of a potential home I wish to move into because of someone's self absorbed behaviour.....drama, drama, drama!!
I feel these things have been out of my control but they've been more than upsetting for me and my confidence is at an all time low and understandably my friends are sick of hearing about them and my children just roll their eyes. The one son who I thought was understanding and supportive just told me he so sick of taking on my burdens and it must be my fault that all this keeps happening.

Perhaps he's right. Tomorrow I'm starting a new job and I'm very anxious that it's going to end up the same at the same time as worrying about whether I'm going to be homeless in less than a weeks time if I can't find somewhere affordable to live.

What can I change in myself to stop these things recurring

54.1.2>16

This reading looks to me like I'm doing the best job I can under the circumstances -

Line 1 - muddling along and sometimes not getting it right but still moving forward
Line 2 - staying loyal to myself no matter what

 

[moss elk]

What can I change in myself to stop these things recurring?

54.1.2>16

Could it be that you yourself have Enthusiasm too quickly about people and things and situations that show themselves to be less than desirable? I mean, telling yourself that
so-and-so is alright or good before you actually come to know them? This is surely a way to dissapointment and bitterness.
I think one's enthusiasm should be earned, just like trust.
Maybe I am off base and someone else can see this answer.

 

[oceangirl]

You are so right Moss Elk and an insight I had just a couple of hours ago. Thankyou for being lovely enough to respond and continue to help me gain the insight I need.

 

[diamanda]

Just to add two extra layers to this:

Hidden line is 40.2 - trying hard to cope with devious people/situations, but, 16, more deceit/enthusiasm/illusion.

And also, 16 is neptunian. Neptune is currently in a long transit in Pisces. It's wreaking havoc with many people's lives, so it would be worth checking which House of yours it's transiting and if it's directly hitting any of your planets.

 

[oceangirl]

Oh I see might be why I'm having issues with my children.....Pisces South Node 5th House. I wrote an email to them tonight and sent it to all of them including my daughter in law who's jumped on the bandwagon of being self righteous and mean to me as well. We'll see what happens next but it's about time I spoke up!
I'm also trying to get creative with my career prospects, I work with children....I so hope this job works out loooooong term.

 

[oceangirl]

Just to add two extra layers to this:

Hidden line is 40.2 - trying hard to cope with devious people/situations, but, 16, more deceit/enthusiasm/illusion.

And also, 16 is neptunian. Neptune is currently in a long transit in Pisces. It's wreaking havoc with many people's lives, so it would be worth checking which House of yours it's transiting and if it's directly hitting any of your planets.

I sent an email to my children including my daughter in law telling how hurtful their behaviour towards me is and how it makes me feel, saying if they can't be nice to me then we'll just keep a distance for the time being - my youngest son responded within hours apologising for any hurt he may have caused me and showing compassion for the struggles I've had over the past 8 years.
My oldest son (and daughter in law) who are Christians and the most judgmental, who show little compassion, responded 3 days later showing no remorse or caring towards me except from a religious point of view also suggesting I come to them to see how we can make things right. Absolutely no accountability for their behaviour towards me - this is nothing new because they never have when we've been at odds with each other.

Hidden line is 40.2 - trying hard to cope with devious people/situations, but, 16, more deceit/enthusiasm/illusion.