Neighbour trouble: 2 Unchanging

[grace heart]

Hello everyone,

As some of you know from my previous threads, I am currently experiencing living under a very difficult neighbour who seem to have quite inexplicably decided to make my life here unbearable. It would be against my higher nature for me to retaliate (although my lower nature sees every sense in the eye for the eye scenario... but hey, who's the boss here?!), so I have now decided to move out of this environment which is becoming more and more toxic even as I write.

Now, when I asked "How much longer do I need to put up with my current neighbour?', I got the hexagram EARTH, unchanging.

Now, this hexagram came up a lot for me lately. It seem to feature in answers to all my questions, from what's up with my love life to how to go about seeking a peaceful home, to what my priorities are right now and even how to stop recreating detrimental patterns in my life.... In fact, it came up 6 times as present, and 5 times as future hexagram thus far.

Intriguing, no?

But... What does it mean for me?

Thank you,
Grace

 

[chingching]

not too sure... but this is from the wiki wing:

What you most need to know about earth: it’s powerful. It doesn’t faint at the prospect of supporting another tree. A clear response to any anxieties about whether one will be strong enough to sustain things.

 

[Trojina]

I cast hex 2 unchanging about an evening the other day, an evening with a group of people who share an interest. I was just asking how it would go for me and got hex 2. Not an important question but I knew it would be a time where i just blended and followed...no need to take initiative...quite pleasant just going along with things as they were already laid out.

I have found this often with hex 2. It seems to show times where you follow the existing plans of the situation. For example another instance I recall was where I was going to have an official/beaurocratic tyoe interview I was nervous about so I askedhow to handle it. I understood from hex 2 it would be a good idea to answer questions as they were asked...to follow someone elses procedure rather than in any way take initiative, raise questions or volunteer information and so on. Yis advice was spot on...indeed it would have been a time where having my own plan, taking initiative would certainly have gone against my interests.


So how can I sort of extend my perception of hex 2 inpractical matters to your situation ?

As it comes up often for many questions I wonder if in general you need to try simply adapting to things as they arise...and only respond to things when directly asked...when a response is called for.

frankly though I'd find that hard advice to take in your situation....and yet I wonder if its an attitude you could explore and sort of try out in life right now.

Not trying to rectify anything just responding to things as required by circumstance ?


I almost feel you should act as if this problem with the neighbour is simply a fact of nature...like rain...and winter...and traffic jams..and colds

I myself find that odd advice but hey its Yi not me.....but it is amazing sometimes how peaceful things can get in hex 2 times.


For example I have a landlord who never comes when he says he will...unless its totally urgent. So he might say he will come one evening to fix something ...but he just doesn't. Hes good hearted but I think he lives his life by his own schedule so I decided it wasn't ever going to be something I'd stress over since hes fair to me in general. I think I consciously decided to treat him like a natural force I could not sort of directly impact so would have to adapt to....but that decision has saved me lots of stress

However I can see you are under way more pressure than that....so I can't say exactly how hex 2 applies.

You say you are planning on moving so hex 2 could equally apply to that but that also requires you to be guided, to be adaptive.

If you have hex 2 for many questions it could be advice about your whole inner orientation at this time. Perhaps you need to allow guidance, adaptation and so on more ?


The good news is hex 2 can be pretty relaxing...just responding not implementing can feel weird but can be rather pleasant.

 

[grace heart]

Thank you both.

I do appreciate that recurring hexagram 2 carries a strong message, perhaps one about the necessity to live in a state of grace and faith in the unknown - no matter what - ? As in, "To not assert such a small thing as self is to move among some far greater powers" (Bradford Hatcher). Looks lovely on paper, but in reality - and as I lay in my bed around midnight last night listening to my neighbour popping the strings of her brand new weapon, a guitar... Well, that on top of everything else most certainly made the hexagram 2 seem such a bitter pill to swallow - and an incredibly hard advice to follow.

That last rhyme just happened, by the way.

Grace

 

[jfas]

I almost feel you should act as if this problem with the neighbour is simply a fact of nature...like rain...and winter...and traffic jams..and colds

If you do, I think you will find that the problem goes away after time.

I am inclined to think the Ching is telling you to not act in this case.

 

[bamboo]

Hi Grace, Since we have talked about this, I think you know my stance...but truly in this case, I think 2 might be saying "don't resist the flow of change" and that could very well mean your neighbor is the divine impetus telling to be on your way ..something better might be in the plan and you are being gently-or not so gently- nudged to find it as it awaits. In this case, 2 is seen as an "okay, this is really making me unhappy, I will not resist the impulse to change..."
Take baby steps, follow the leads, see where this is nudging you to go

I might also mention that during times like these, I had dreams where I was in a dorm and kept going into the wrong room...finding out that my room was upstairs, but feeling I couldnt find it.....there was also a dream I had a few times where I would discover that behind a dreary front of a house, there was a secret backyard where there was a body of water, really beautiful. Both dreams were nudging me to look elsewhere for my 'place' at a time when I felt like I was supposed to accept where I was.

 

[jfas]

Not to belabour my own opinion on it, but wouldn't the I Ching give some other hexagram for that kind of message?

That said, another thought comes to mind: perhaps the advice is literally to allow the solution to present itself. It may not necessarily mean that you stay put, but just that some other solution may be in the works and that action on your part right now will not bring the solution.

 

[bamboo]

Not to belabour my own opinion on it, but wouldn't the I Ching give some other hexagram for that kind of message?

That said, another thought comes to mind: perhaps the advice is literally to allow the solution to present itself. It may not necessarily mean that you stay put, but just that some other solution may be in the works and that action on your part right now will not bring the solution.

I hear what you are saying, and I don't think my take is so very different. I am not telling Grace to take any really yang action, just that it is important to be open and non-resistant to What Is.

Byron Katie wrote a book called Loving What IS, and originally I assumed that whole way of thinking was to just accept, 'try' to love what's happening.......but I came to see that Loving What Is does not mean anything quite so black and white...it does not necessarily mean to 'grin and bear it'... but to love all of what is. including honoring and loving the feelings that come up in a given situation, honoring and loving what our feelings may be telling us needs to happen. to follow the lead given to us when we are wholly receptive to what we are recieving, including the messages made clear by negative emotions.

Grace neednt make any great major decisions under duress, but to be open to her heart. when unhappy , it is natural , very 2 like, to begin to watch for the solutions... to be OPEN to what your next right action is, and the heart is a great compass for knowing the direction to follow.

Sometimes we get nudges , dreams,, gentle at first and not so gentle over time. To get 2 in regards to her situation, it advises her to pay attention to her nudges. In this way, she is not exerting her mental will, but listening closely and following where it leads.

She can't change the neighbor. she seems to accept that. But nor should she squelch her feelings about her unhappiness. nor need she be passive. 2 is not necessarily a call to be passive.

 

[rodaki]

hi Grace,

while I mostly agree with what bamboo has written so far, I wanted to highlight one thing about your 2s and your territorial neighbor. In being receptive of all that happens around you you need to harken to all the things you don't need to put up with too. Earth nurtures the seeds but not all things need to put roots and sprout in you, some of them you have to throw right out of your window (her bin included).

You can see, for example, and try to understand your neighbor's attitude, you can accept that she obviously is struggling with her own issues but that doesn't mean you should accept her acting them out on you. You don't need to allow in your life the voices of people who cannot see much beyond what they are going through. Maybe in the past years she had to face bad neighbors, maybe she is working through her own healing in some warped way but you don't need to be fostering or taking all this in -it is hers to work thru. In other words, you need to put some boundaries and respect the process of your own emotions and troubles.

In being yin, you need to -most of all- remember to allow yourself the room to your own, to the whole of you. It doesn't mean that you need to retaliate or act out too, no need to go to that extent but it could mean that you need to let her own her acting out instead of putting up with it and of course, if you feel it's not worth it, by all means, walk away . .

 

[chingching]

Also with two you have to make room for good things to come into your life, if you hyperfocus on this neighbour then things related to the neighbour are going to be the only things you'll have made space for.

I had a straight 5 years of bad neighbours in every place I lived, I ended up changing cities and that solved the problem. Its a problem that doesnt have a straight forward answer.

This neighbour definately sounds like they want attention.

Thus the superior man who has breadth of character
Carries the outer world.

I also get the feelings of this hex saying, wait it out. That being said thats not the advice I would give if someone was talking to me about this kind of problem.

People see noise and lifestyle very differently. I once lived in a house where the upstairs was occupied by the landlords 16 year old son who played duv duv music all day at full volume. My housemate had never noticed the sound of the music until I pointed it out to him... I had no idea how he could not have heard it , but I guess he just didnt allow it into his mental space at all. It drove me insane and I moved out.

 

[jfas]

Also with two you have to make room for good things to come into your life, if you hyperfocus on this neighbour then things related to the neighbour are going to be the only things you'll have made space for.

I had a straight 5 years of bad neighbours in every place I lived, I ended up changing cities and that solved the problem. Its a problem that doesnt have a straight forward answer.
...
People see noise and lifestyle very differently. I once lived in a house where the upstairs was occupied by the landlords 16 year old son who played duv duv music all day at full volume. My housemate had never noticed the sound of the music until I pointed it out to him... I had no idea how he could not have heard it , but I guess he just didnt allow it into his mental space at all. It drove me insane and I moved out.

Agree, ching ching. I have experienced the same, which is why I am curious about the outcome here. While there is the simple fact that soundproofing is rare in multi-unit dwellings, I also began to suspect that, in some cases, I was re-creating the problems in my new situation that I thought I was escaping in the old. So it's that caution that I want to extend to grace heart.

My experiments with the principle that "thought attracts event" have had varying success. The last apartment I moved from had become intolerable when my upstairs neighbour's sibling moved in - nice gal, but had no concept how loudly she walked on the floors (and she wasn't large or anything). She also had a kitten - yes, kitten - that somehow had the ability to wake me up just by its tearing around upstairs - at all hours. On hardwood floors with no carpeting. It was probably louder for me than it was for them, and they would have no concept of how that could be.

I also, of them and other neighbours, suspected that their actions were deliberate at times. Through some other experiences I had after I moved, I realized that chances are they were oblivious to me and had no idea how they sounded in my apartment.

I moved from that situation out of necessity. I was going back to school and had to downsize and reduce my rent. I also simply could not afford to be kept awake at nights. That was critical for me. The place I moved into has been the exact opposite. It's a top-floor suite and quiet as a monastery. I couldn't believe it, actually. I was worried I would simply bring the problem with me. But no. For a brief time, a new neighbour downstairs was acting up and blasting his stereo at odd hours (in a way that also disturbed other neighbours). I found that when I reacted, the situation would get worse. The last few times it's happened I simply ignored it, not even complaining to the caretaker, and the problem hasn't occurred in months now. It's also easier for me here to practise affirming my quiet space. In the other place, it was harder to do, and my belief in the loudness and obliviousness of my neighbour would not allow me to create a new dynamic.

So that's the experience I wanted to share with grace heart and I think the I Ching is indeed telling her that the problem may not be solved by moving. Stay receptive, create the solution first, create the peace, and then your environment will seek to match your vibration. (Easier said than done, tho' )

 

[Trojina]

Not to belabour my own opinion on it, but wouldn't the I Ching give some other hexagram for that kind of message?

That said, another thought comes to mind: perhaps the advice is literally to allow the solution to present itself. It may not necessarily mean that you stay put, but just that some other solution may be in the works and that action on your part right now will not bring the solution.

i like that way of putting it

 

[chingching]

i second that trojan

jfas

The last apartment I moved from had become intolerable when my upstairs neighbour's sibling moved in - nice gal, but had no concept how loudly she walked on the floors (and she wasn't large or anything). She also had a kitten - yes, kitten - that somehow had the ability to wake me up just by its tearing around upstairs - at all hours.

its always the small girls who have lead feet!