New relationship at crossroads

[lisu]

Hello :bows:

I am new to this site though not new to I Ching. I've been using it for quite a while. However I would really appreciate some input from more experienced and objective users, as I'm at a crossroads regarding a relationship I've recently formed with someone (not sure I should be calling it a relationship, we're really at the first stages of dating, but there seems to be potential). Anyway. Over the past few days I've been feeling insecure and on edge for a number of reasons. The main reason being that although there is passion and involvement on both sides, he doesn't seem to be as impatient as I am about moving things forward. He's kind of aloof when we're apart, although things are pretty warm passionate and emotional when we are in each other's presence. Anyway, I asked the I Ching three questions (questions 2 and 3 I asked to get more specific clarification as I didn't quite get the answer from question 1).

My questions were:

Q1 - How is my relationship with [] going and am I moving towards the direction of getting what I want out of this relationship? I got 31.1.2.3 > 58
Q2 - If I stay in this relationship and try to make it better, will I succeed? How will it go? I got 30 unchanging.
Q3 - If I cut my losses sooner rather than later and leave this relationship altogether, how will it go? I got 51 unchanging.

Can someone more objective than me please explain in a few words what the I Ching is telling me I should do?

 

[mirian]

Dear lisu,

Thank you for posting but your readings are difficult to interpret because you have asked multiple questions within every question and the Yi does not work that way I am afraid.
I can tell straight away that your questions are also filled with strong emotions and all your hexagrams and lines reflect the emotional aspect.

I can only suggest you to re-think your questions; there is plenty of advice on the website about how to phrase your questions in order to get clearer readings.

I am sure that if you do that there will be a lot of help for you here.:bows:

 

[lisu]

Thank you mirian for your answer, well I am not sure I understand what you mean when you say that my questions are loaded with emotion, I mean they are about an emotional relationship so yes there is emotion, but what I am asking is pretty straightforward I believe? Boiling down to "should I stay or should I go?". I'm kind of reluctant to ask yet again as the IChing may not like so many questions being asked about the same topic...

 

[lisu]

Okay, so I asked again: "If I stay in this relationship and try to make it work, how well can things work out?" and got 13.1>33. Which doesn't seem to be pointing to any particularly positive potential...

 

[mirian]

Hi lisu,

Sorry, what I meant is that I think that your hexagrams and lines are much more reflecting your emotional state than anything. So, I would not take your readings as straight answers to your questions.

You see, there are actually TWO questions here:
" How is my relationship with [] going? " AND "am I moving towards the direction of getting what I want out of this relationship?"

"If I stay in this relationship and try to make it better, will I succeed? AND " How will it go?"

I take your point about not wanting to ask the Yi again and again about the same subject but you haven't had your questions answered yet

:bows:

 

[mirian]

We seem to have posted at the same time, but anyway, back to your readings.

"If I stay in this relationship and try to make it work, how well can things work out?" and got 13.1>33.

The Yi is describing this relationship as early days, the "fellowship" at the beginning. Both you and your partner in this fellowship are at the same stage in the process of building a relationship. You both have to leave your comfort zone and venture into a new territory. The potential exists, but you still have to set your agreements, common goals, everything that comes with a relationship. So, I would think that the potential for the relationship is there, but perhaps not at the pace that you might be hoping for.

Hope that helps.:bows:

 

[lisu]

Thank you very much Mirian :bows: Your interpretation is very helpful to me.
Once again the I Ching is spot-on.
Just to round things up, I also asked whether I will be better off if I gracefully exit this relationship at this stage. I got 46.2>15.

 

[mirian]

Dear lisu,

Wilhelm/Baynes translation links 46.2 to someone who is upfront, honest, with a strong personality, which I think is you, the person who is consulting the Yi. So, this is the person "pushing upward", putting the effort to get progress, trying to move things forward. However, the line in the second place does not indicate that the person is already in the position to achieve the success that it is associated to the hexagram. What the line advises is to concentrate on what it is possible for the time being.

That said, how that applies to your question? I am going to be very careful here, but my view is that your reading is telling you not to exit this relationship straight away. Even though the relationship is not exactly the way you want at the moment, there are smalls steps, within your limits, that you can take to improve it (the imagery of the line is "a small offering"). The relating hexagram 15 reinforces the idea of avoiding extremes; it suggests a need to find balance and work through cooperation.

Ultimately it is your decision, but that is the way I see your reading. Hope that helps a bit.:bows:

 

[lisu]

Thank you Mirian, much appreciated, and I'll take it into account...
The "middle path" has never been my strong point. Unfortunately I tend to go to extremes...