New to I Ching please help

[qreal]

A very positively developing romantic relationship was suddenly "put on hold" due to a very personal health issue he has developed, clinical depression. We can not see each other or communicate for the time being due to medical professional recommendation that until some professional issues have been successfully completed, a relationship would not be feasible or healthy for him. This was over 2 months ago. All we have been allowed to have were some brief emails.

My question to I Ching was whether or not I should continue to wait for this man or move on to find love in another.

I have received 22.2-26, also another similar few questions in 37, 22 and (how long before problem resolved) 28

When I asked if he has true feelings for me i was given 46 (waiting can sometimes bring doubt and discouragement)

I am so confused and not sure how to interpret these answers.

Thanks so much for any help or guidance.
G

 

[ginnie]

A clinical depression can take years to resolve. I think you might inquire of his doctor what the doctor's opinion is on that, since the doctor has set some policies that you are following.

 

[jbutler]

To me, this is very straight forward. Any time a person says they can't see you because of "clinical depression" they are lying. What doctor is going to say, "...and don't have any relationships..." when it is relationships that help you heal? Actually, the psychologist is going to have you invite those you care about into therapy with you. The guy used that as an excuse to...what? Go deeper into his depression? Who knows. Here's the kicker--he doesn't contact you for two months? greal, it is time to move on, or hang on. Your choice. If you hang on, you better start getting this guy to talk to you. If you don't want the responsibility of genuinely caring for this man without getting anything back, then you are stronger than most. He probably can't give back! He's sick. If you want something back, then choose another man.

Hexagram 22 is about adorning, which fits into what I was saying. He wanted to make his separation with you to look good. So he lied. Just like a beard would hide a hideous scar, his "doctor said..." and hid his illness behind something you'd respect: a doctors word. Maybe he likes you but is afraid to even try because once you get to know him you might leave. Living with a depressed person isn't easy, and he knows it, and doesn't want to subject you to its problems. So, you can set a higher standard by letting him know what you feel and thing if you like him back.

line 2: when we are devoted to doing what is right and good and wholesome, and enjoy the moment dispersing anger (just don't get angry, it doesn't work anyway) you can have a good influence on whoever you come into contact with. This guy sounds like he needs to be loved without any expectations of having to give back. If you can do that, and appreciate where he is without anything in return, then call him. If you can't, then you will cause harm, and please don't call him. Just move on.

I hope this helps.

Good luck

I am a firm believer that nothing in life is ever over. Life is too dynamic with too many variables, with too many possibilities for anybody to say it is over between you and me. Now...if I said it is over and you agreed with me, then it is over. Well. at least until someone decides to start something up again. But, the question still remains: is this healthy? It could be so long as it is what you want, are willing to endure the pain, know the ramifications of the strain on your psychology, etc.

Okay to the hexagram: 22 says Grace brings advancement. It is favorable to have a goal in mind. Grace is doing what is right. When we have adhered perseveringly to what is right, we tend to get proud of our accomplishment of being right. In other words, to do what to be right? or do you want a relationship? Making yourself right at the expense of hurting another is not the Yi way.If your ego expects others to agree with you that he did wrong, then you can connect with us, but you won't have a relationship. Being graceful means to give him the benefit of the doubt and call the guy and show some care. It looks something like, "Hey kiddo, are you alright? I am just trying to show you that I care." Use no secret agendas, don't have anything in the back of your mind you need to get off your chest--that stuff can come later. Genuinely care for the man and see what you get. The idea here is to give. Then, hang up, and forget about it.

 

[qreal]

Thanks so much for the input on this. I see now with Hexagram 22......yes....an adornment. A disguise, maybe of the truth? And I did question the strategy whereas the therapist strongly advised not to further pursue a new romantic relationship due to emotional instability. I thought it sounded isolating, but on the other hand our relationship was so new it made sense on some level.
Nevertheless, I appreciate the help in understanding and shedding some light on what
I Ching gave me. I have sent loving messages and have begun to move forward into more positive areas of growth. If it is meant to be at some point it will be. Acting in love is all we can do and I harbor no anger and I'm grateful for that. Looking forward to learning and understanding the I Ching more now. Thanks again.

 

[ginnie]

And I did question the strategy whereas the therapist strongly advised not to further pursue a new romantic relationship due to emotional instability. I thought it sounded isolating, but on the other hand our relationship was so new it made sense on some level.

It does make sense, because emotionally vulnerable people often have an awfully hard time with relationships. They have become more sensitive or sensitized to things that wouldn't bother a more hardy person.

 

[long yi]

1. All the questions are very disorganized, and you asked too many.
2. All you need to know is to ask what is the future potential of this relationship.

Hexagram 22: Grace is hollow. For relationship, this is a major cosmetic cover up. No one is telling the real truth. There is no depth to this relationship.

Hexgram 46: You like him. it does not mean anything else.

Your problem: too many questions with unclear questions. If you respect the Iching teaching, you should not do that.

One focused question will give you everything.

The major problem with the querent is?
You casted, got a number, without understanding what the hexagram means, you ask another question, and then another question.

Answers are for self-reflection. Please do not do that because you do not want to know the answer to start with and treat casting hexagram like a video game.