No kids - will this destroy our love relationship?

[Mylife]

Hi there,

I m going to share with you a very difficult situation that I am facing in my life right now. Any support of the oracle answer would be immensely appreciated.

I have been through a long infertility period (2 years) which includes: 3 operations, pills, breast biopsies, IUI, miscarriage and countless medical visits. Now I have been told that if i want a baby i have to do another operation (4th) + hormones injections + IVF + I have been told that my pregnancy will have higher risks (premature birth, hysterectomy and other issues) than the normal pregnancy. As you can imagine is not an easy choose to make neither a nice place to be.

After considering the further difficulties ahead, I decided that I don’t want to proceed and to have kids. This decision is not because I don’t want kids but because I want to safeguard my health and body (I hate medications, fake hormones, plus i fear the complications i might face, even if small risk i still fear them).

Now the problem I have is that my husband would like to try to have a baby because the risks I might face are low (1%-3%). But i am not inclined to proceed simply because I am not strong enough to go ahead with all that is coming my way (4th operation + hormone injections + IVF, risky pregnancy).

Probably you saw my previous posts and there all related to this issues. Now i decided to make you aware of the whole story so you can understand the background of the questions i am asking. It is not easy for me to write this, please do not judge

I asked the oracle few questions in regards to myself and our marriage:

1. How do you see my life without kids? 29.2.4 - 45
- i understand that my life will be difficult at first and then things start to get back together and i will be fine?

2. How and what do you see about our future life together, considering that i m choosing not to have kids? (in the senses that will we continue to keep our relations strong, keep loving each other, and to we remain together?)

39.3.6 - 20 (20 Aug 2022)
- our relations will be difficult and it requires time?

58.6 - 10 (12 Sep 2022)
- these answers are very confusing for me.

3. Are we going to overcome the pregnancy difficulties and continue to remain together in the future? 9.5-26
- i think it says (and from my previous post) that we are overcoming this difficulty

4. Will we stop loving each other and we separate? 50 unchanged
- this is the time for a change and for a new life? does it mean our life together will change and we will have our life separate?

5. Will he be at peace and fine with the idea of not having kids? 51.1.3.4 - 15
- it will be a shot for him and difficult but then he will be humble and he will be fine?

I guess is very obvious that my fear is that my decision of not having kids will destroy us.
What is your interpretation on the answers I received from the oracle?

Apology for so many questions

Many thanks to all of you.

 

[Liselle]

Which was the first reading you cast? Was the Aug. 20th one first, or did 29.2.4 - 45 come before it?

You may not have gotten responses yet because so many readings are a lot for most of us. The first one will be the most important anyway, so if we just work on it for now it might be easier and could end up being all you need.

 

[Mylife]

Which was the first reading you cast? Was the Aug. 20th one first, or did 29.2.4 - 45 come before it?

You may not have gotten responses yet because so many readings are a lot for most of us. The first one will be the most important anyway, so if we just work on it for now it might be easier and could end up being all you need.

I hope the dates below help

Q1 = 29.2.4 - 45 (12 Sep 2022)

Q2 = 39.3.6 - 20 (20 Aug 2022)

58.6 - 10 (12 Sep 2022)

Q3 = 9.5-56 (20 August)

Q4 = 50 (12 Sep 2022)

Q5 = 51.1.3.4 - 15 (12 Sep 2022)

 

[Liselle]

Which came first on Aug. 20th?

 

[Mylife]

first -
How and what do you see about our future life together, considering that i m choosing not to have kids?
39.3.6 - 20 (20 Aug 2022)

second -
Are we going to overcome the pregnancy difficulties and continue to remain together in the future? 9.5-26 (20 Aug 2022)

Which came first on Aug. 20th?

 

[Mylife]

In September the order was

first-
How and what do you see about our future life together, considering that i m choosing not to have kids?
58.6 - 10 (12 Sep 2022)

Second -
Will we stop loving each other and we separate? 50 unchanged (12 Sep 2022)

Third-
Will he be at peace and fine with the idea of not having kids? 51.1.3.4 - 15 (12 Sep 2022)

Forth-
How do you see my life without kids? 29.2.4 - 45 (12 Sep 2022)

 

[Liselle]

first -
How and what do you see about our future life together, considering that i m choosing not to have kids?
39.3.6 - 20 (20 Aug 2022)

second -
Are we going to overcome the pregnancy difficulties and continue to remain together in the future? 9.5-26 (20 Aug 2022)

Summary: I think these mean you'll be fine, and you'll successfully fill your lives even without children.

39 to 20 - 39 is probably reflects your struggle to have children, and - seeing no end to this anytime soon, plus some danger - a decision to pause, not continue to make this offering/sacrifice, and look at a bigger picture (20).

39.3
'Going on, difficulties; coming back, turnaround.'

If you "come back" from the struggle, there will be turnaround. What kind of turnaround? Finding another way to belong, hexagram 8.

This probably won't be easy or immediate. Imagine struggling up a mountain path that gets harder and harder. Two things happen next. One, you have to make the decision to stop before you get to the top. This is difficult in itself. You seem already to have done this part.

Then you have to go back down the same way, before you can even begin to rest and regroup. In your situation this might mean a period of decompressing and processing, separately and together. You can't just immediately start over as if none of this ever happened.

39.6
'Going on limping; coming back, mastery.
Good fortune.
Harvest in seeing the great person.'

"Coming back" also means "mastery." Other translations say "maturity." Yi is telling you that's what you're doing here: mastering the situation (maybe instead of it mastering you), and making a mature decision. That might mean accepting that things don't always work out in life, sometimes even things that seem pretty basic.

(Note: this is Mylife's reading, not anyone else's. For someone else, continuing the struggle might be exactly the right thing to do.)

9.5 to 26
'With truth and confidence, hence bound together.
Rich in your neighbour.'

I think this is about you and your husband. You are "bound together" with "truth and confidence." What could be better to say about a marriage? I don't see any hint of divorce.

Also, 26 in the background, moving towards "Great Farming" - along with 8, this is another thing that makes me think you'll have a fulfilling life. Instead of raising children (er, "small beasts"....please take this metaphorically and forgive the exact words!), you'll probably find other worthwhile goals.

 

[Liselle]

4. Will we stop loving each other and we separate? 50 unchanged
- this is the time for a change and for a new life? does it mean our life together will change and we will have our life separate?

Oh, this one...paraphrasing things Hilary has said about 50, I think this probably means the vessel of your marriage is big enough and sacred enough to contain, hold, and transform these difficulties.

There might be a shaky moment or two - this is a big life event, after all, you can't help but be affected - but you'll get past it. The Vessel's last word is 50.6 zhi 32: it endures.

 

[Mylife]

Summary: I think these mean you'll be fine, and you'll successfully fill your lives even without children.

39 to 20 - 39 is probably reflects your struggle to have children, and - seeing no end to this anytime soon, plus some danger - a decision to pause, not continue to make this offering/sacrifice, and look at a bigger picture (20).

39.3
'Going on, difficulties; coming back, turnaround.'

If you "come back" from the struggle, there will be turnaround. What kind of turnaround? Finding another way to belong, hexagram 8.

This probably won't be easy or immediate. Imagine struggling up a mountain path that gets harder and harder. Two things happen next. One, you have to make the decision to stop before you get to the top. This is difficult in itself. You seem already to have done this part.

Then you have to go back down the same way, before you can even begin to rest and regroup. In your situation this might mean a period of decompressing and processing, separately and together. You can't just immediately start over as if none of this ever happened.

39.6
'Going on limping; coming back, mastery.
Good fortune.
Harvest in seeing the great person.'

"Coming back" also means "mastery." Other translations say "maturity." Yi is telling you that's what you're doing here: mastering the situation (maybe instead of it mastering you), and making a mature decision. That might mean accepting that things don't always work out in life, sometimes even things that seem pretty basic.

(Note: this is Mylife's reading, not anyone else's. For someone else, continuing the struggle might be exactly the right thing to do.)

9.5 to 26
'With truth and confidence, hence bound together.
Rich in your neighbour.'

I think this is about you and your husband. You are "bound together" with "truth and confidence." What could be better to say about a marriage? I don't see any hint of divorce.

Also, 26 in the background, moving towards "Great Farming" - along with 8, this is another thing that makes me think you'll have a fulfilling life. Instead of raising children (er, "small beasts"....please take this metaphorically and forgive the exact words!), you'll probably find other worthwhile goals.

Hi Liselle thank your for helping with Aug reading. It is indeed helpful more than you can imagine. I understand your interpretation .

 

[Mylife]

Oh, this one...paraphrasing things Hilary has said about 50, I think this probably means the vessel of your marriage is big enough and sacred enough to contain, hold, and transform these difficulties.

There might be a shaky moment or two - this is a big life event, after all, you can't help but be affected - but you'll get past it. The Vessel's last word is 50.6 zhi 32: it endures.

This is also good news and I m happy about what the oracle says in 50. It makes sense now with your help.

the other 3 readings do you think they are a repeation and I should not need to look into it?