Number 9

[adarkana]

In that interesting way the oracle sometimes behaves, I've consistently received hexagram 9 (with various lines moving) regarding an event which took place last night. Since it has been so emphatic I thought it might be useful to record it here.

Recently my college roommate published an account of our relationship, which ended more than 20 years ago. It includes some unpleasant remarks about me & indulges in a lot of speculation about what I might say if I were sitting in her editor's chair. We are both now in our mid-forties & haven't spoken in fifteen years, so this is more than a little comical. I hesitated to take the bait but am very annoyed, so decided last night to go confront her at a local signing for the book.

I have very ambivalent feelings about that story. She said, I figured you would. I suggested we might have a conversation about it, if she wished. Sensing this was not her wish, I said or we could just leave it here. At which point she volunteered her email address, adding obviously that the signing was not the place or time.

Afterward I wondered whether that had been the right thing to do, and whether there is anything else to do, and have consulted about it a few times. The consistency amazes me: 9.5.6, 9.2, and 9.1.2.3.4.6.

Comments/interpretations would be very welcome, but I'm mostly posting this because I find 9 a hexagram that comes up for me a lot when I am dealing with volatile personalities & feel this is almost a textbook example.

 

[gene]

Adarkana

This hexagram usually is an indication that a weaker force is somehow subduing a stronger force, usually by guile or some kind of subtlety. The question remains, who is the stronger and who is the weaker force here. But... since you got line two twice, (and I would not do a reading normally more than once on the same subject) lets look at it. This says in the commentary, "if the effort to push forward is not in harmony with the time, a reasonable and resolute person will not expose him or herself to a personal rebuff. Since you are asking the question I have to assume this is referring to you.

There is more to this story though than meets the eye. Why is she disrespecting you in a book? Hopefully this book will not be large in sales, but if it is and you feel very strongly you have been wronged, then there are laws that reflect defamation of character. However, you will have to decide what has transpired here. The fourth line says, "If you are sincere, blood vanishes and fear gives way." The fifth line says, "If you are sincere and loyally attached...." It seems that there is a possibility of resolution here because the sixth line says, "The rain comes, there is rest." But why is there the possibility of reconciliation? You will have to look honestly and objectively as to what really happened between you and see if you can see it objectively for what it is.

On another note, I have noticed this more and more over the years where people write books trashing ex friends and ex lovers, and why? To me it is very unethical and can be illegal if there is defamation of character, but it seems to be the way society is going. I don't understand it. I can't say I have never talked about somebody negatively behind their back, but I wish I could. Often this is the only way we have of blowing off steam when we are frustrated and cannot find any way to deal with another person. And along this line, perceptions are extremely important. Often it is not so much a matter of a person being a certain way as that we perceive them that way. We all think our perceptions are correct, but often they are not, and are based in our own character and learning. Enough said I think for now. This must really smart, and it is not cool, but you can only do what you can do. It seems the only thing you can do here is attempt to reconcile.

Gene

 

[ginnie]

Nine also comes up for me when I am dealing with volatile personalities.

9.6 represents a resting place in a long progression of interactions, not necessarily a reconciliation, in my view.

 

[mryou1]

I see 9 as a situation in which, because the outer circumstances aren't changing much ("dense clouds but no rain"), the best thing you can do is examine your own actions and attitude toward the situation.

The book's already published, so there's not a whole lot you can do but level your pride and move on. Unless she actually used your name in the book, in which case the whole thing borders on slander and you have every right to pursue legal action and whatnot.

 

[gene]

The point of reconciliation is in the fourth and fifth lines. The sixth one only confirms it by the rain coming and final success. The reading is taken as a whole.

Gene

 

[meng]

People seem to respond/react differently to different hexagrams. I typically get 9 when I feel ambitious to think or do something major, and the Yi says, nope, take care of the chores, your daily responsibilities. These are those that need you now. So for me it's kind of a letdown at first, but once I'm into feeding the birds and rabbits, work on that project I should finish, maybe run to the market for food; when I use my energy in this way, I calm down. The Shepard calms the sheep through his or her own calmness. Restraint is slight.

 

[pocossin]

Did I do the right thing by confronting my ex-roommate at her book signing?
9. . .

If she sent you a free copy, no. If not, yes. There is some presumption of privacy when living with someone on friendly terms, and to be used in this manner without permission is a violation of trust. It's like someone putting a spy camera in your room. When do you get the chance to tell your side? If she hurt your feelings, you have every right to say so, and why not in public, since it is your private life that is being publicized? An unwelcomed return from the dead. Your presence and unhappy face probably spoke volumes, so in a way you've had your say. The Image accords with your conduct at the signing: the superior man refines the outward aspect of his nature. Dark clouds, but no thunder storm. Did you get your copy signed?

 

[adarkana]

No free book. Funny, none of my friends who publish ever think to send me a copy. Even when they've borrowed my life/couch/etc. for years. One of those really odd realities.

As I explained to her after waiting my long turn in line, I had no copy in hand to be signed because I Kindled it.

Because we were friends before she became a public figure, somehow our personal time together has become ethically & otherwise convenient as a source. She's mined it for many years, but this specific article marks her first extended treatment. I am provided with a lame pseudonym but am otherwise completely identifiable. It skirts slander but isn't, and we're so polarizing she knows no one is ultimately taking sides.

Thanks everyone for the comments. I am cooling my heels, for now. The most surprising outcome of all would be reconciliation, which nothing in her manner invited. We seem to be hardened enemies at this point, maybe the most convenient pose for everyone.

 

[GreenHazel]

Adarkana

This hexagram usually is an indication that a weaker force is somehow subduing a stronger force, usually by guile or some kind of subtlety. The question remains, who is the stronger and who is the weaker force here.

I see 9 as a situation in which, because the outer circumstances aren't changing much ("dense clouds but no rain"), the best thing you can do is examine your own actions and attitude toward the situation.

I typically get 9 when I feel ambitious to think or do something major, and the Yi says, nope, take care of the chores, your daily responsibilities.

All 3 exactly on point for me. Thank you!