Panicing about job meeting tomorrow, please help

[seeker]

Ok, a little background. I think I have mentioned before that I work as a fraud investigator for the state of Florida. A few weeks ago I was assigned as the onsite investigator for the emergency food stamps for hurricane victims. I had a misunderstanding with someone who turned out to be someone fairly high up from our program office. I had no idea who she was, I am not very political, I treat everyone the same. I think everyone deserves common courtesy, regardless of what position they hold, so I don't bother to learn who is who in the hierarchy.

Anyway, this person was assigned to take the applications from the front, after they had been seen by a screener, to the back to be processed. As the investigator onsite, I was trying to peruse as many as possible to see if anything was questionable before she took them. One of the workers had called me over about an applicant he had seen and had had some personal contact with, thought she might be fraudulent. While I was talking to him, the woman went up to the box to take the apps. There were a bunch I had not looked at yet, so I yelled to her (I was across the room) no, no, no, don't take those yet. She seemed to take offense, and it occurred to me that it did sound a little like I was talking to my child with the no, no, so I tried to smooth it over saying I was sorry, that I have a six year old and sometimes forget who I am talking to. She made a comment that she was not six and stormed off.

Figuring I was just making things worse, I decided to address it with her later after she cooled off, but she never came back out. The next thing I knew a woman came up to me, said she was in charge, and I needed to leave. She was extremely rude about it and refused to tell me what the problem was.

I did not make the connection until the next morning when I talked to my supervisor. I explained my side and she said to just go on, it would probably blow over. I heard nothing more about it, so thought it had. Today I got an email from my supervisor stating I am to meet tomorrow with her, our office administrator and the head of our program office, in part about this incident.

So of course I immediately went to Yi and asked if I needed to worry about the meeting, 63.1 to 39, not a great reading, but not too bad, I read it as saying it will not be smooth sailing, but I will recover. I asked what I needed to do and got 57.3.4 to 6. This one is throwing me. I really need help. I didn't do anything wrong, it was a misunderstanding, but I never got the chance to even explain myself. The whole thing was just ludicrous. Anyway, any help in interpreting this would be greatly appreciated.

 

[jte]

Hey, Seek -

Heh, how come I always seem to have an insight when it's YOU who's asking!?! I was tempted to not give input so as to not always be "hogging" helping you - but, since I think I have something to contribute, I'll write.

I'd say 57.3.4 provides a choice/divergence of how the meeting could go - try to make it go the 57.4 way, not the 57.3 way. I'd imagine that in your context that will mean taking the criticism that it sounds like you're going to receive gracefully, perhaps even "cunningly". Bring on the emotional intelligence - control that gut reaction to feel threatened and/or tell them to **** off and instead be mature, tactful, and diplomatic. Ain't always easy, but it's usually *better*.

Or it may be that the meeting is destined to be a blend of both moving lines. In that case, I'd still try to emphasize/enhance the 57.4 aspect over the 57.3 aspect, to the degree that that's in your control.

My 2 cents,

- Jeff

 

[jeanystar]

57.4 was the line and that is a very positive line...success. bagging the game. 57.3 ...do not doubt yourself. and dont stress out with worry.

I would just be prepared with what you will say..
In your shoes, I would ask the Yi to tell me what attitude is best to have towards the meeting and to comment about the most helpful stance to take with these people.

 

[seeker]

Thank you all for your help, I feel a bit calmer now. Jeff, I need all the help I can get, so please feel free to give your 2 cents anytime. They are usually good 2 cents

 

[demitramn]

BTW,

imagine what a wonderful world we would live in if we remembered too that children are as sensitive, if not more so, to being talked down to, as are adults

people (parents) often forget that the only reason children respond differently from adults to this type of treatment is because they are smaller and more frightened of the power an adult has over them

means that: a habit of communicating down to children tends to leave a lasting impression that affects and colours the nature of all their relationships in the future. a fundamental reason why adults can't seem to "take it" when another adult communicates with them abruptly. something for all of us to consider when dealing with others, even and especially children

Demitra

 

[seeker]

Well, since I am the one who recently asked for everyone to post results of their queries, guess I will let you all know how it went. I had to sign a reprimand, but oddly enough it wasn't the issue that was initially presented to me. There was an accusation made that I appeared threatening to the applicants. There was also an accusation made that my clothing was too revealing. My supervisors said that they understood that I was in a bad situation, dealing with people who were outside the dept and did not understand what my job was. They also said they felt that I probably could not have handled it any better, but I still had to sign a reprimand. I accepted it, ate crow as it were, though I did defend myself on a couple of things said that were outright lies. In the end, they said to just consider this a bump in the road, that they knew I was a good investigator and did not want me to change the way I did my job because of this incident. As for my clothing, they see me all the time and stated that they had never seem me anything they thought was inappropriate, but that since I had lost weight I had started wearing more form fitting clothing and maybe next time I was somewhere outside the dept, I should choose something more modest. Once we were finished, they offered the opportunity to discuss things going on, so I snagged the opportunity to present some issues workers had mentioned to me and to discuss ways to improve our dept and our repoire with the workers. It ended on a good note, so looks the reading was on target. thanks again for everyones help.