Personal independence 6.2.3.6 -> 31

[ragini]

At almost all points in my life some people albeit with good intentions have had a very interfering presence. This has resulted in me growing up with insufficient confidence, a slight inability to take decisions, and an overall feeling of dependence which I find hard to come out of. This has also had a negative effect on my professional and personal life.

I asked the Yi "how can I achieve the independence that I seek". The independence I had in mind was of the emotional and self reliance type of independence.

The Yi replied with 6.2.3.6 -> 31

Hex 6 shows that there is a conflict and that I am being obstructed. This is very true.

6.2 Seems to suggest that I remove myself from the situation of the conflict. Maybe move away from certain people.

6.3 Seems to suggest focusing on developing my inner strength

6.6 Seems to suggest, not taking the conflict to the end, but re-connecting with these people once I have regained my strength. This is something I too would live to do, since I do not want to unduly distance them, just seek my own independence, so I can bring out my abilities.

The background hex 31 Seems to suggest that I work towards peace and goodwill by keeping the communication channels open.

As always, I will appreciate suggestions and thoughts. Thank you :bows:

 

[Trojina]

I asked the Yi "how can I achieve the independence that I seek". The independence I had in mind was of the emotional and self reliance type of independence.

The Yi replied with 6.2.3.6 -> 31

This is a very impressionistic immediate response...but I think the hex 6 here may refer to you trying too hard. It looks like you could not help but be influenced and so to fight it too hard sets up a conflict within you that you need to let go of for now (6.2) that you are or have been in situations where despite your good efforts you've not received a recognition of oyur individulaity....(6.3) but it isn't a mistake that it's been that way. If you fight this perceived fault in yourself too hard it may seem you make progress (in your terms) but it won't last and you'd be fighting the same battle again (6.6)

Its a really apt and interesting answer isn't it. You feel you have lost independence by embodying hex 31. I'd suggest rather than this perceived lack coming from faults it actually came from a natural open good receptive place within you. So it may have been abused by others...but that doesn't make you need to reform your natural responsiveness. You don't have to fight these traits you see as troublesome, they are okay. Perhaps there are boundary issues to develop...that always seems to crop up in 31...but it doesn't seem to me from this answer that total independence is a natural goal for you now. Perhaps you are a person who is naturally very receptive/responsive so it seems to me better to work with the good bits of that, see it as a kind of gift that just may need better management...or protection, hard to find the word I need...

Hmm interesting answer. Well whichever way I look at it battling your natural tendencies to be very deeply influenced by others doesn't seem the way to go...Seems to me to say to continue to allow yourself to move others and be moved by them.....being indecisive is part of that. All I can think is you may need to develop clearer boundary lines about whats your and whats theirs....see advice in 31 and the lines maybe ? All the lines in 31 seem to portray the difficulty of being influenced too much...and advise on keeping a hold on oneself and yet still remain open to influence. That seems your task. The way you perceive ideal independence now though i think Yi questions that....that ideal sets up conflict and tension within you. You may need to rethink that goal.

 

[ragini]

Wow, thank you Trojan ! Your observations are so close to the truth of my situation.

This is a very impressionistic immediate response...but I think the hex 6 here may refer to you trying too hard. It looks like you could not help but be influenced and so to fight it too hard sets up a conflict within you that you need to let go of for now (6.2) that you are or have been in situations where despite your good efforts you've not received a recognition of oyur individulaity....(6.3) but it isn't a mistake that it's been that way. If you fight this perceived fault in yourself too hard it may seem you make progress (in your terms) but it won't last and you'd be fighting the same battle again (6.6)

Yes I am trying hard. In fact in my mind it has almost become a survival issue . For the greater part of my life, I have been in an extremely vulnerable state, and have been influenced negatively by these people. They are not bad people. On the contrary they are actually very nice people. Just that their psyche was custom designed to destroy mine

I have had issues where my abilities simply were not recognized, and it probably not a mistake. I have received "darkening of the light" so often in relation to myself, that I feel like even if a situation does come where my abilities could be recognized, it would be better if I kept them hidden.

You speak of "fighting the same battle again". I take that as, until the core issues are resolved, the same patterns will keep repeating themselves.

Perhaps there are boundary issues to develop...that always seems to crop up in 31...but it doesn't seem to me from this answer that total independence is a natural goal for you now. Perhaps you are a person who is naturally very receptive/responsive so it seems to me better to work with the good bits of that, see it as a kind of gift that just may need better management...or protection, hard to find the word I need...

Better management and protection. I think this is it. You have pointed to the crux of the matter :bows:

Hmm interesting answer. Well whichever way I look at it battling your natural tendencies to be very deeply influenced by others doesn't seem the way to go...Seems to me to say to continue to allow yourself to move others and be moved by them.....being indecisive is part of that. All I can think is you may need to develop clearer boundary lines about whats your and whats theirs....see advice in 31 and the lines maybe ? All the lines in 31 seem to portray the difficulty of being influenced too much...and advise on keeping a hold on oneself and yet still remain open to influence. That seems your task. The way you perceive ideal independence now though i think Yi questions that....that ideal sets up conflict and tension within you. You may need to rethink that goal.

I am indeed re-thinking my goals regarding independence. Actually it is not the independence, but freedom from suffocation, and being able to channelize my energies properly is what I seek.

Thank you very much for such an insightful reply.