Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
As I said, I wanted to form a social life and enjoy my space beside others. I wasn’t successful, though.
That said, I haven’t been there for about two weeks, and I have no desire to come back. Let they call me overly codependent or immature, I can’t love that gloomy den.
The sincerity and firmness comes from trigram Heaven. Heaven in the lower position stands for inner motives, structure, laws, inspiration etc. But Heaven is also the intangible, it has no form.Legge:Waiting intimates that with sincerity and firmness there will be brilliant success and good fortune. It will be advantageous to cross the great stream.
"When Water is outer (upper) trigram it lets the qualities of the inner trigram flow into their inherent shape." LiSe
Yet.by "unsuccessful" I just mean not able to satisfy my needs
Yet.I couldn't find people to spend time with in my apartment
but hey, Yi said 5, which I usually just take as "hang in there" (for some reason anytime i hear it i see a kitten hanging off a branch in my mind's eye). the time's not ripe.
Now that is quite negative take on waiting. I don't think that is the kind of waiting the Yi is talking about. It is talking about waiting with the certainty that something good is coming. How can waiting be something negative knowing something good is coming?it's more like clenching my teeth and getting on with things until they finally turn out just right.
How can waiting be something negative knowing something good is coming?
I think there is a difference between what the Yi says and how you interpret what is says.
It intensified my bad habits such as smoking- before, I smoked thrice a week and enjoyed it; now I smoke thrice a day without pleasure, it's turning to a real addiction.
The image of a pregnant women comes to mind. She is waiting for here child to be born and at the same time enjoying her pregnancy, knowing something wonderful is going to happen.
Maybe you can ask the Yi why you feel so gloomy while waiting .
Yep I am Dutch and I didn't mean it in a presumptuous way, so it must be the cultureI shall hopefully make equally presumptuous commentary and assume you're Dutch, then blame it the culture and thus take no offense in this questionable straight-forwardness
this combined with the strive for independence is very relatable for me and compelled me to post the initial reply. but later also got me thinking, if maybe the more I strive for independence the more other dependencies I create? another totally personal and subjective thought I considered worth sharing
I don't know and I won't terminate the lease now.I think it's just that if you return, the suffering won't disappear, you'll still have to go through it, but now without the independence
The reward is that you'll enter adulthood, and if you really put effort into it you'll learn to enjoy your own company. It's not true that everyone who lives alone is unhappy or an addict. And in any case you're still very young, who says that you'll remain living alone for long? You might decide to co-habit with friends, you might find a good partner to live with. There are huge rewards in learning to enjoy your own company and in making yourself the star and centre of your life, so to speak. It will help with everything, in due course, including in finding a decent partner.then what's the reward? Apparantly, my quality of life is worse in my apartment. If I continue to suffer for the sake of independence, what will I earn? Are there really more pros than cons?
Living alone shouldn't be an inherently bad thing, I didn't try hard to do it otherwise.It's not true that everyone who lives alone is unhappy or an addict.
I'm not optimistic about that to be honest, unless I go live with one of the alcoholics I mentioned. And you know I have never been successful in forming romantic relationships.you might find a good partner to live with.
I enjoyed my own company far more than the average people around me, to the point that they called me the loner: I went- and still go- to the cafes, cinematheques and mountains alone, I didn't chat with co-workers during launch if I didn't enjoy it.There are huge rewards in learning to enjoy your own company and in making yourself the star and centre of your life, so to speak.
Trojina I agree with you on the part about about becoming the caregiver of old parents, that it would be much harder to build your own base when you are old; it was in fact one of the main reasons I decided it would be better to move out sooner rather than later.
On the other hand, the people around me who've been living alone for extended periods of time aren't happy either. Almost all of them are deppressed or addict or both.
Now I ask myself, OK I'm indepedent now, then what? I deliberately chose to go through this emotinal trauma (though I couldn't guess how hard it will be), then what's the reward? Apparantly, my quality of life is worse in my apartment. If I continue to suffer for the sake of independence, what will I earn? Are there really more pros than cons?
I don't know and I won't terminate the lease now.
What's obvious, however, is that I sleep & eat well, don't smoke and am happier in my parent's house. By being in that apartment, I sacrifice my joy and health- but for what?
It hasn't been the case for me. It just felt bad. Yes I did want contacts, but it wasn't the reason I felt bad.I do think half the stress of loneliness is actually worrying about being alone, worrying one should have more friends, worrying one should have a partner, worrying that one is weird. The great bonus of aging is you get free of all that.
Me too. I didn't want to be one of them.But also I've seen the harm of stunted growth in people who have never left home.
It can be the case. Anyway I have seen far more troubled people among the ones who grew in dysfunctional families than the ones with divorced parents; so why not?I think there are probably more addicts in oppressive marriages and family situations than there are for people living alone.
No I don't have such a thing in my mind. Believe me, I'm just sharing my thoughts and doubts. I'm just asking myself and othersAfter 6 months or so living alone you still have no idea about what it will become like or how it will change so sort of expecting 'I want it to be proven it's better right now and if it's not better then I'm not doing it unless you people can tell me how it's better' isn't going to work because you then make others sort of responsible for it.
Let's face it there are many enforced separations and most people are going to be living a less than healthy life style while they are processing that, at least in the early days. They don't choose to end one dependency and then take up others.
Where you live alone can have a big impact, a view is always much better for mental health, it's better to have friendly neighbours you feel you could call on if there was an emergency or anything. It can contribute to peace of mind to know there's people around, they don't need to be close buddies, just pleasant.
The thing is, I left home to make a better life but am not happier now, nor are the people I know who are in a similar situation.
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Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).