question with 31.3 any help?

[daianasa]

Hi,
I am new in the i-ching world and have spent some time in the past weeks reading the shared readings, very interesting questions and answers from experienced people.
I have asked the i-ching if it is wise for me to strive for a meeting with my ex, and got 31.3 changing to 45. I read in other posts about meaning of 31.3 in regards to"sexual urges" or passions that drive one to humiliation. My desire for the meeting is not based on passion or thoughtless impulses (to the contrary I have been pondering on it for about 3 months and feel it could be very liberating).
I got puzzled though and bit frightened by reading the other posts, and I would highly appreciate anybody's help on how to interpret my reading.:bows::bows:
I am very green in this, and maybe I don't see clear.
Thank you for your help

 

[Trojina]

Hi,
I am new in the i-ching world and have spent some time in the past weeks reading the shared readings, very interesting questions and answers from experienced people.
I have asked the i-ching if it is wise for me to strive for a meeting with my ex, and got 31.3 changing to 45. I read in other posts about meaning of 31.3 in regards to"sexual urges" or passions that drive one to humiliation. My desire for the meeting is not based on passion or thoughtless impulses (to the contrary I have been pondering on it for about 3 months and feel it could be very liberating).
I got puzzled though and bit frightened by reading the other posts, and I would highly appreciate anybody's help on how to interpret my reading.:bows::bows:
I am very green in this, and maybe I don't see clear.
Thank you for your help

31.3 would be saying here I think that whatever reasons you have told yourself about meeting your ex they aren't actually good ones. One is very much on automatic pilot with 31.3 and I can see how it may apply to relationships of the past....one can go running after it out of habit etc etc I think the answer clearly advises against the meeting. You asked about the wisdom of it and its answered you it wouldn't be wise.


the whole point of 31.3 is we often aren't aware of our motivations.... Not desisting on the 31.3 route can make one get enmenshed in things one really wished one hadn't

It is about automatic and unthinking attractions...you say you've thought about it but yes we do think about the connection but we really aren't aware. Doesn't have to be about sexual liasons it can be any habitual automatic relationship...even with a relative for example.


Edited to add I have often had this line when I think something is a very good idea....but I've learned this is one of those lines to pay heed to. Its a bit of a 'wake up and smell the coffee' line IMO.

 

[daianasa]

Thank you

Thank you for the reply... I understand what you are saying. I think I should take it a step further for me, since humiliation is a very basic and repeating fear (me being extremelly afraid of being humiliated) and the meeting should happen only if I were in a position of sincerity/honesty and openness with MY feelings - in touch with my centre, not focusing to what the other person might do or say...
Maybe the Yi is telling me I am not quite there yet, still haunted by my fear I will ridicule my self.
My friends advise me to have the meeting and beat my fear, my life is about me, and it is high time I learnt not to use the others' reactions or wishes as an excuse to feel bad about myself.
Yi is wise, I am not quite there yet.
Thank you very much for your reply

 

[daianasa]

further help needed 41.3.4

Again I have to say I am very new at this and I am impressed when reading other people's queries and answers about all the insight that comes out.
In regards to my previous question I asked again if I should have a meeting with my ex focusing on me just to express what I need, and received 41.3.4 changing to 14.
The change in line three speaks of three being to many (I know he is with another girl, but I also know that this is not serious and he wants out from this relationship - I have several sources confirming this to me) so I don't know how to take line 3. But then I also don't get line 4 (If a man decreases his faults it makes the other hasten to come and rejoice no blame). Is it I to decrease my faults? How? Should I speak about them in the meeting? does the Yi speak of the other person or of me
also in other shared readings I read that some times is not only about the lines but the new hexagram. What does 14 mean in this case? Possession in great measure... is it some kind of indication of a possible future outcome and if yes only if what takes place first??
I am so sorry if I am overwhelming with my thousand questions but Yi is a whole new way, a whole new perspective and I really wish to learn more about it. Not in the sense of finding out the future - I don't believe there is one future anyway, there are many... but in the sense of understanding me (therapy helps but this is more fun)
Thank you for any of your wonderful insights...:bows: