Relationship Help - 35 to 31

[lilith]

Please help me understand my results: I asked about the best approach for me to take to bring my boyfriend and I back together. My answer was 35 with lines 3, 5 and 6 changing into 31.

If my question had asked about what was going to happen, I could see this was a very positive answer. But I'm not sure how to receive the answer to my actual question, about what approach I should take.

Thank you for your help.

 

[lilith]

Oh, thank you please for someone to help me.

 

[lilith]

I would pay for a private reading with Hilary if I could right now, but I cannot. Thank you.

 

[chrislofting]

Hi Lilith,

you wrote:
>
> Please help me understand my results: I asked about the
> best approach for me to take to bring my boyfriend and I
> back together. My answer was 35 with lines 3, 5 and 6
> changing into 31.
>
> If my question had asked about what was going to happen, I
> could see this was a very positive answer. But I'm not sure
> how to receive the answer to my actual question, about what
> approach I should take.
>

(1) as a warning: to make progress (by bringing something/things into the light) one should be wary of being too intense in stimulation. IOW dont be too exaggerating from the 'wooing' angle, it can 'frighten-off' the other person. The 'light' itself should be attractive enough without any need of additional techniques.

(2) as a change : by bringing something into the light one moves to a situation of intense stimulation (wooing). That 'bringing something into the light' can be a revelation of some sort that can benefit the instigation of wooing.

Chris

 

[malka]

Lilith,

It sounds to me like Yi is saying the way to progress in this relationship is through wooing and influence. Marshall writes that when reading three lines to focus on the middle line. In your case, 35.5 clearly indicates not to worry or have anxiety over each little encounter - setback or gain - you experience. By shinning your light just as it is, and making yourself visible, you will ifluence and woo.

Of course I wouldn't disregard line 6 completely, which speaks of humiliaion if you push. Don't push. Just BE.

And line 3 also looks good in that it notes the end of disagreement. You don't say why there is a need to get back together (I'm assuming you're apart for some reason) but there seems to be an indication that the reason has resolved itself.

I think the advice is to just be who you are. Live your life. Don't push. He will be able to recognize your light and it will influence him. I suspect there is also a mutual passion there as well. I've personally always received 31 in a relationship that becomes intimate or -- I mean I've never received 31 and not experienced mutual chemistry, desire and intimacy.

So, I'm agreeing with Chris that there is a warning and I guess it's up to you to decide what it is you need to bring into the light. I'm guessing that it's yourself.

But, I'm always cautious about my interpretations because I'm still learning. So please take what I say in context to what others will write. And please tell us how things go.

Blessings,
Malka

 

[lilith]

LiSe on another post said not to pay so much attention to the lines, it's the hexagrams. What about idea that the second hexagram is the future, versus it being the background? What do people think about this?

Thank you so much for your help.

 

[heylise]

Many people have good ideas about first and second hex, but personally I try not to have any idea at all. When I get the answer, my intuition tells me, what the place of the hexagrams is. I have no idea if this is the best way, but for me having no rules, or at least as few as possible, works best.

LiSe

 

[lilith]

Oh, thank you Chris, Malka and LiSe for your thoughts on this. I'm left feeling like I shouldn't really DO anything, because I don't know what would be "too intense" from his view. But the I Ching doesn't tell me to do nothing, so this is still rather confusing. It's a warning you seem to agree to not be intense. But what SHOULD I DO?

 

[megabobby]

hex 35--you are a radiant princess
hex 31--awesome male/female chemistry

just sit back and let the magic happen

 

[cal val]

Lilith...

I'm absolutely with LiSe on this one. One must be intuitive and flexible with the Yi. I've been getting the same hexagram or the hexagram 12 and then the same hexagram for a couple of days.

Today I asked the Yi a series of questions about selling my car, and it hit me...the repeated hexagram is the price (abbreviated...leaving off zeros) that the Yi says I can get for it. The hex 12 in front of the number is telling me to stand still at that number. In this case lines are not relevant...nor is the title of the repeated hexagram...just the number. And only the title of hex 12 is necessary here...there's no deep message. Once I put it all together, I confirmed my new action plan with the Yi, and they answered with 53.1 to 37...*embarrassed grin*

35 is progress through parternship. People tend to overlook a key line in the judgement in the Wilhelm/Baynes book: "An elightened ruler and an obedient servant -- this is the condition on which great progress depends." Look at the pictograph for 35 (that LiSe contributed to the forum)...

Two arrows flying toward the target. Two people aiming toward the same goal...whatever that may be.

Of course, it doesn't have to be a ruler and servant. It can be a man and woman of equal stature, two men, two women...any combination of people. It can be about a business relationship of any duration, it can be about courtship and love...again of any duration...one nighter...or for life, or about any situation or endeavor that requires two people. Fortunately, not a lot of intuition is necessary for your answer. It looks like the relationship, partnership will go through the courtship phase again.

From my own personal experience, when I get this combination, I'm hearing the Yi say let things happen. The top line is advising not to try to force anything.

Cheerio the noo,

Val

 

[lilith]

Megabobby, thanks. That's a sweet and welcomed interpretation. And,

Val, it's curious that as I read your interpretation with an emphasis on "partnership" I started to wonder if the I Ching was telling me that the best approach for us to come back together is if we both wanted it, or, if it was a true "partnership effort." And, the truth is I don't know for certain what his thinking is.

So, that's where I thought you were going with your interpretation until I got to the end and you said, "Fortunately, not a lot of intuition is necessary for your answer. It looks like the relationship, partnership will go through the courtship phase again."

Wow, because I'm not hearing that. Of course I'd like for you to be correct. But I didn't ask what was going to happen (although I was thinking it, that's the whole point of what I was really looking for!) I asked what's the best approach to bring it about. I'm feeling afraid that what I'm really being told is a sarcastic, "It takes two, silly!"
But I'm also in a pessimistic mood. That's what friends are for, to help focus and make things clear during pessimistic times. Comments?

 

[lilith]

Out of my concern, I chose to ask another question..........If I follow this approach (e.g. I am the light of the princess, allow things to unfold) what will be the result?

My answer was 54 (the death of a relationship!) with lines 1,3, and 4 changing to 46. This is one of those times when it is difficult to intrepretate for oneself as I do not want to read what isn't there. But I think this is telling me that either there is pushing up in the background, or it's in the future, either way.......I have or we have been in a subordinate role with each other, there has been ego involved, but the time has or will pass to take us to the right time to be together. (I guess this is why the "sit back and let it unfold approach?) But there will be effort (46) involved, (unlike 35 progress) and success is assured.

Kindly tell me, experts, if this is correct?

 

[martin]

Hi Lilith,

I am the light of the princess, allow things to unfold - my feeling is that 54 confirms that this approach is OK.
The Yi seems to say (at least that's what I hear): 'indeed, don't behave like the maiden in 54!'
Her problem is that she tries to force the issue, she is too dominant.
You wrote about subordinate roles and ego, so perhaps there has been too much 'marrying maiden' in the past.

46 pushes upward, but is not 'pushy', the growth is natural.
I think 46 can also indicate something like 'go back to your roots or the roots of the relationship'.
Going back in time (before things began to get confused) to reestablish contact with the natural flow. Once you pick up that flow it will be much easier.

 

[megabobby]

hex 54-you are passive yin that has just hooked up with some yang energy and you are being celebrated....like a new bride

megadralkdhjagboadgbbby

 

[tashiiij]

megabobby, you are so damn awesome.

 

[lilith]

Alright, I trust you all. Thank you. It feels difficult to accept this is such a good reading, but I also feel very happy.

 

[lilith]

Guess what? Although there has been no contact between us since I wrote on this forum, today I decided to ask a follow-up question, How does he currently feel about me? I received 39 with line 4 changing to 31! Wow, again number 31! Maybe you are all correct about us having another courtship in the picture? But the Obstacles, maybe he feels stuck about how to contact me? I welcome your help but do not wish to ask too much of you. Thank you.

 

[lilith]

Hello? Is anyone there?

 

[megabobby]

hello there

you know...everything will go the way your true will really wants it to go. there is nothing stronger than the true will that is in harmony with the tao. sometimes the journey can seem confusing---maybe ....but what you need is what you get.

megabobby

 

[lilith]

hello back

It sounds like this is your philosophy of life. That is nice, but I am looking for help understanding the I Ching and what's being said with the reading.

Thank you.

 

[megabobby]

it's weird....cause one side of me likes helping people but,

"never interfere in another boy-girl fight"

william s burroughs

from 'words of advice for young people'

words to live by if you ask me

megabobby

 

[lilith]

I guess I need to agree with the feedback offered to you in another thread: sexist.

I am not a girl. He is not a boy. We are not fighting. I am trying to learn about the I Ching, and at the moment I'm using this life situaiton in which to learn. It could just as easily be another life situation.

If you don't feel you can honestly be supportive of the process of interpreting the I Ching, then kindly do not reply to any thread I may start.

Thank you.

 

[candid]

Lilith,

According to line 6 in your first reading - Making progress with lowered horns-i.e., acting on the offensive - is permissible, in times like those referred to here, only in dealing with the mistakes of one's own people.

I believe that megabobby is trying to show you a deeper, or at least a different way of viewing the Book of Changes. That too is part of the process (and progress) through both your situation and understanding Yi in general.

Since your original relating hexagram was 31, it does imply a "boy-girl" scenario. That's not always to be taken literally, but in matters of relationships its fundamental application.

LiSe uses a Quiver of Arrows as 35. It could also been seen as a tool box. The means to accomplish something worthy of yourself. A successful hunt or a completed project needs tools, and the skill to use them. Progress in anything depends on these things.

Yi often reaches outside the limits of our question in order to present a bigger and more objective picture of ?what is really going on.? When we see this bigger picture, we drop what is unneeded and take up the tools we do need in order to make progress.

Candid

 

[tashiiij]

karcher, hex 39 line 4.

a. limping. going difficulties, coming continuity.

b. limping. going difficulties, coming continuity. appropriate situation, substance indeed.

(his commentary)
you feel lonley and think the world is against you. but you are beating your head against a brick wall. relax. there are people looking out for you right now who can see how valuable you are. keep the faith.

wilhelm/baynes from book three, the commentaries:

six in the fourth place:

a. going leads to obstructions, coming leads to union.

b. "going leads to obstructions, coming leads to union." in the appropriate place, one finds support.

(his commentary)

the six in the fourth place is related to the six at the top, but should it wish to go there, it would find a weak line at the pinnacle of danger. return to it's own place leads to union. the fourth place is that of the minister, who serves the strong ruler above, the ninth in the fifth place, and who is supported from below by the strong assistant, the line in the third place. in the appropriate place (the dark fourth place is the proper one for a yielding line), it achieves union with these two strong lines.

LiSe:

6 at 4: To proceed: limping. To come: cooperation.

People do not listen to what they know, they listen to the unexpected, the creative, the new possibilities. If you try to adapt, you will end up alone, but if you are genuine, they will find you, offer their company, and enjoy together with you what you have to offer.


lilith, does any of that fit?

i hope so. hope your situation works out soon.

maybe megabobby's words did not fit for you. i read what (s)he wrote about true will and it really helped me. so who knows how things go. (guess i got the cow. 25. 3)

 

[lilith]

Tash and Candid,

Thank you for your translations and coming to my rescue. I think I don't know what is meant by the difference of "going and coming." Does someone have an example? In this scenario, could it mean the difference of going forward towards someone, versus someone else coming towards you? Is that it?

Also, for this 39 becoming 31, I asked about his feelings for me. So, it makes it more difficult to understand. The answer (of the line change)seems to be about the results of taking actions, whereas I asked about feelings. What does one do with interpretation when it seems the answer doesn't fit the question? I am too close to see the larger issue.

Would one interpret the two 31 answers as pointing toward/confirming attraction in this situation?

I'm not worried about prophecy, or what WILL happen with us. I know it will be what it will be. I am curious about this I Ching works, and how it might be helpful, or how it might be telling me something I can't otherwise see myself. Isn't this what it is about? Why do some call it Yi?

Lil

 

[dharma]

Lilith, you asked: <BLOCKQUOTE><HR SIZE=0><!-Quote-!><FONT SIZE=1>Quote:</FONT>

What does one do with interpretation when it seems the answer doesn't fit the question? I am too close to see the larger issue.<!-/Quote-!><HR SIZE=0></BLOCKQUOTE>Have you had a chance to read the following thread originally started by Hilary? It might help you deal with hexagram outcomes that seem to make no sense to the question asked.

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/48/975.html?1065603366

with love, D