Relationship in the workplace

[leika]

For the past couple of years I've been in a relationship with a work colleague (a superior as a matter of fact). I am still in love with him but feel disappointed both at him for having taken advantage of the situation and at myself for having put up with it. He's not a bad person, in fact he has very publicly supported my work, and helped me in other ways (I'm a hard worker and have earned it, what I mean is he has always been extra supportive as far as work was concerned; but where our relationship was concerned he took advantage of my dependence on him to play "on-again-off-again" mind games).

I have more or less reached the end of my tether and have backed way off, without saying anything, which has surprised him. He hadn't seen it coming because I always seemed so docile and accepting of his comings and goings. I had never complained.

I asked the I-ching "Is there anything I can do to help this relationship? Should I tell him exactly how I feel and what has disappointed me, will we become closer as a result?". I got 43.3.6>63. Any idea what it means?

PS. I love my job and wouldn't want to have to quit over this...

 

[gene]

leika

hexagram 43 line 3 says, "to be powerful in the cheekbones brings misfortune. The superior man is firmly resolved" I take this to me that talking could bring down more trouble. One thing women ought to understand is that to date a superior at work gives a woman an unfair advantage over coworkers. It also puts him in serious jeapardy, and to a certain extent you too. If human resources were to get wind of this there could be serious repercussions. All employee valuations from that point on could be suspect and questioned. He is going to protect himself first, not you. The commentary says, "the task of the superior man becomes extremely diifficult here." I would do whatever you can to save face and not trust that this situation is going to work out smoothly. While I believe in finding love where you can, dating supervisors is extremely dangerous for both people. The commentary also says, "His relations with the inferior man will sully him in the eyes of the multitude." If other employees get wind of this they are automatically going to assume they are getting unfair treatment, whether it is true or not. It is never advisable to date a superior.

Gene

 

[willowfox]

I asked the I-ching "Is there anything I can do to help this relationship? Should I tell him exactly how I feel and what has disappointed me, will we become closer as a result?". I got 43.3.6>63.

Line 43.3 says that your actions to stand up for yourself are going to antagonize him, and don't bother explaining as he will simply misconstrue what you have to say anyway, therefore you can expect some vindictive behaviour from him as you stand by your principles to cut him off.

Line 43.6 You need to stand up and renounce his treatment of you, its most certainly time you put a stop to it all.

Hex 63 prepare for retribution as its over and you need to steer clear of him, not get closer at all.