Return flight dilemma

[Snowie]

Hello everyone.

So as some of you may remember, I'm currently in the UK seeing my father before he dies. My brother booked my flexifare plane tickets but they were paid for by several family members together. I would like to fly back two days earlier than planned to give me 4.5 days to clear the jetlag before I start a brand new job the following Monday. However, I have some history with my brother regarding these flights; namely, that he point blank refused to even allow me one extra day where I live because I was absolutely exhausted, and instead was thoroughly unreasonable with me and wound up by threatening to cancel my entire trip unless I flew out on the day he'd picked before claiming that I was the one disadvantaging my dad! The only reason I did fly out on that day is because the I ching said "you have to." He also threatened (at the end of my first week in the UK) to cancel my return trip as a way to force me to do something relatively minor in the grand scheme of things and then sulked when I refused to cave to his demands. To his credit he has since apologised and said he won't resort to such low tactics again but I'm still wary, even though he has behaved himself since then.

Today I asked him how much it would cost to move the flights two days forwards to give me that 4.5 days before starting my new job. He said it would cost $47. However, before telling my brother to go ahead with the change I thought I'd consult the Yi and the results were not encouraging:

"Is the $47 flight home the right one to take?" 6.1.6 to 58. Line 6 in Wilhelm looks downright scary.

"What if I ask my brother to book that $47 flight home?" 47.2 to 45 (oh no - I've never had 47 regarding a conversation with my brother without it quickly descending into highly aggressive behaviour on his part towards me).

"What if I go on the existing flight home?" 24.1.5 to 8. The "seeking union" here could be referring to my partner who is very worried that me returning on the planned flight could result in negative impacts not just for myself but also both my partnet and my flatmates.

"How do I work out when is the right time to return home?" 22.1 to 52.

My overall impression is that the iching is saying my brother will not take the request for that earlier flight at all well and will give me a very hard time about it, but I also feel the iching is criticising my wish to move the flight in the first place as taking the wrong approach. If that's the case then I don't really understand how the 22.1 to 52 reading helps me solve the problem at hand, which is that having only 2.5 days to get over jetlag before starting a new job (if I stick with the current booking) does not seem sensible to me.

Technically, I could just change the flight myself without telling my brother first, but this doesn't feel right or honest and I don't want to damage my relationship with him further.

Does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do?

 

[Liselle]

I could just change the flight myself

I wonder if that's what 22.1 is saying, though? You could ask Yi about it.

But 24.1.5 to 8 also sounds encouraging. 24 could easily be about recovery (from jet lag), and the lines seem to suggest the existing flight will be okay.

24.1, "Not far away, returning" - maybe you won't be as far gone in jet lag as you fear. 24.5 - and then you'd be "great-hearted" in the sense of generously avoiding more trouble.

I sometimes think great-hearted also means courage, and it would take some to risk starting a new job while jet-lagged! But maybe that's where line 1 comes in - your bravery might be rewarded by you recovering faster than you think.

 

[Liselle]

24 could easily be about recovery

I say that because 24 is associated with a lot of words like that: return, restore, renew, recover, etc. 23's about stripping away, like when leaves die and fall off of trees in the fall, and then 24 is about the days starting to get longer after the winter solstice, culminating in Spring.

 

[rosada]

This reads to me as if you are having a hard time sorting out various considerations so I’m just going to point out what I think is important here…

Your father’s passing is going to be a lifelong memory for you. Everything that happens now will take on extraordinary significance. 6.1.6-58 sounds like while taking the $47 flight home may be a small conflict it would become very significant as part of the memory of this final visit.

You’ve come a long way to be with your father and the family at this time.
47.2 - 45. People have gone to a lot of effort to make sure you could be here.

You are concerned you may suffer from jet lag even though you will have two days to recover.
You are concerned your partner will worry if you don’t cut your visit short.
In my opinion you do not even know for sure how the flight will affect you and you are doing this for your father and family for God’s sake. Who the hell cares what the job, the boyfriend or the flatmates think???

What if I go on the existing flight?
24.1 No regrets.
24.5 No regrets.
8. It’s your choice.

22.1 - 52 Take a long walk and clear your head.

 

[Snowie]

This reads to me as if you are having a hard time sorting out various considerations so I’m just going to point out what I think is important here…

Your father’s passing is going to be a lifelong memory for you. Everything that happens now will take on extraordinary significance. 6.1.6-58 sounds like while taking the $47 flight home may be a small conflict it would become very significant as part of the memory of this final visit.

You’ve come a long way to be with your father and the family at this time.
47.2 - 45. People have gone to a lot of effort to make sure you could be here.

You are concerned you may suffer from jet lag even though you will have two days to recover.
You are concerned your partner will worry if you don’t cut your visit short.
In my opinion you do not even know for sure how the flight will affect you and you are doing this for your father and family for God’s sake. Who the hell cares what the job, the boyfriend or the flatmates think???

What if I go on the existing flight?
24.1 No regrets.
24.5 No regrets.
8. It’s your choice.

22.1 - 52 Take a long walk and clear your head.

Thank you, you have nailed my problem: I'm struggling to prioritise and maintain perspective (this is actually a bigger problem too in that the closer I get to a deadline, the worse my prioritising and perspective tends to be) where I don't want to be so tired I burden everyone back home unduly, but I don't want the other option where I arrive back mostly fine and regret leaving earlier. I'm going to stick with the flights as booked, rest up this week and hope for the best.

 

[Snowie]

Hi everyone, thank you for all your answers. In the end I stuck with the original flight, it went well and my jetlag did not cause problems with my new job.

My father died a week and a half after I returned and I think not leaving sooner has made it easier for me to cope. That said, I still don't excuse my family's behaviour towards me, for which they remain unrepentant.