Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I totally agree. I've noticed over and over again that in real life the above statement is simply false.We often hear "just be present, enjoy yourself, and the suitable partner shows up". I've been doing this for many years and nothing interesting happened.
How do you know it can't be gained? None of your questions addressed that.I want a commited relationship deep down, which can't be gained
Because I got hexagram 2 for my first answer: earth, being passive, being receptive (nothing to be done on my part) and its unchanging lines. 2th hexagram is the most frustrating one in my eyes as I never understand how it can be helpful. I should be "receptive" of what?Whatever happens?? Sound like the "just enjoy yourself ..." phrase. It even doesn't talk about waiting or blockage.How do you know it can't be gained? None of your questions addressed that.
That's true. I'm not a planning type of person in none of my life's areas. Even if I know what I want- which I do most of the time- I only put myself in the course without any schedule or precise details. I also tend to retreat if the task is overwhelming. As you say, sometimes it's better to be more proactive. For example, if I started to search for the type of guys I want systematically, and persevered for a few years, I could be more satisfied in this point of my life, but ... that's not my nature.I wondered if you have a similar nature and wondered if you tend to approach all relationships with others in this way even if you sometimes 'think' a more proactive approach would be better?
I, too, have been attracted to (less than a decade, but still) older guys since about one year. I wanted boys my age when I was very young, then started to find younger boys interesting. Ironically, I guessed I could never relate to guys more than 3-4 years my senior two years ago.I can relate with the 'older male' scenario like you - totally new thing this year
Wonderful insight, as it's how I felt, and wrote about in my original post. To me, 38 changing to 19 exactly meant my way to a fulfilling serious relationship passed through casual relationship(s). If I put aside a few amazing friendships with the boys, the most comfortable and emotionally intimate relationship I've ever experienced was the casual one with the "tall guy" I mentioned in this forum. It was like the causality -lack of pressure- allowed me & him to be vulnerable. There were problems and tears and heartbreak, but I never wish I hadn't gone through it, as this relationship had a huge positive effect on me: becoming far more connected to people- and the world, the present tense. I felt like something blissful was unlocked in me; like a curtain before my eyes was removed. I'm totally grateful of this relationship, and this guy, even if there's no point in pushing it forward anymore.I guess Yi is confirming your preference with 2...for casual rather than serious relationships, and getting 38 opposing to 19 nearing for casual relationships sounds like the way you make your 'intimate' connections with others, in answer to your casual vs serious question, from an outsiders perspective 2 just seems the natural way you do it, as you pulled it again in regards to how you proceed to have a fulfilling serious relationship
I see. That's how the love finds place to be born. The most natural way. And if you finally decide to knot the ties, you do it wholeheartedly, knowing that your companion has been intimate and loyal to you without any external pressure. But admittedly, it could be frustrating at times where I need more assurance about the future.I optimistically believe that a 'casual' relationship with a man can be long lasting, serious and mutually beneficial if you don't chase, but have the perspective of always seeing that other person as a friend that you are journeying alongside in life.
Don't worry, that's my way of interpreting the life, tooI'm always learning and throwing ideas out there mostly intuitively, so if none of this really makes sense, please let me know.
I've read both of your threads BTW before posting my last one I hesitated to make comments as I'm new here and there are more experienced ladies and gentlemen; plus, one of your readings contained hexagram 2 that I've problem interpreting. However I'll try to write my opinion.I also wonder if anyone has seen my posts in forum, as I had no replies? Thank you for reading and all the best.
I, however, cast another reading with a similar theme: "Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?" (remember that I used to be skeptical about the serious relationships. I wrote that in my previous posts in this thread.)
I got 3.3.4.5 >55
It's a good thing to hear indeed! I rather thought the reading was inviting me to put a lot of effort into finding & maintaining the relationships that could end in marriage. That's why I considered it unpleasant.I don't know if that's what you want to hear. I think the 55 shows you might feel pulled to making or wanting to make firm decisions now but I feel the 3 and the lines ask you to loosen yourself around the whole area, be 15 again for a while
YeahWas it you who said they didn't like kids etc ?
In fact I often doubt I'll be ever ready for marriage and can have a successful one. That's why I cast this reading.If it is then this cast confirms to me that you may feel that way because you are in some way not ready anyway, you need to be you and explore like a growing thing.
That's very true. I have been always averse to gender roles & would deeply suffer if forced to act "the female" all the time. One of my closest friends is a guy who doesn't follow the gender norms himself. For age, too, I relate very well to people several years younger than me. They don't consider me the older one who is born before a particular year/decade and therefore doesn't belong to their group & is likely to judge their behavior. I'm a bit younger than 30, however most people my age feel totally stranger to others who are 4-5 years or more their junior, as if they are all dangerous and immature members of next generation, which is a false assumption caused by ignorance.also we identify with our bodies so you might for example be a woman of 30 and naturally want to know about your future in relationships and so on but you are also a spirit, a soul, a being not connected to any particular age or category or gender.
Yes. In my early 20s I wondered why I didn't feel the time pass and bring me to a new actual age. Now I'm used to the discordance. I have always had a youthful appearance for my age, too. My spirit & appearance are more or less in harmony; not with my actual age, however.It might be that your biological identity and your actual youthful exploring identity feel at odds with each other.
Agree. I consider the body as a case for the soul. I wish that this soul leads me where the body is also satisfied.but in the end we go with the soul's direction and it isn't always the soul's chosen direction to marry young and reproduce.
That's my state of mind towards marriage at this moment, though I can't clearly see the dimensions of profusion.the unknown creates a uncertainty. Uncertainty can create confusion... and if you will "teeming, chaotic profusion" (Wilhelm, 1997)
I see!That sounds like love and ,as always in the Wilhelm version to me, sounds like sex with someone the first time...begin first time ever or the first time period.
That's how the third hexagram sounds to me- the intercourse of the heaven and earth/male and female- for the first time: formidable, intense, creative, full of life and joy. At this moment, of course, there is no one in my life I can experience this "union" with.The entire discussion is around how Heaven (man/significant other) and Earth (woman/significant other) come (however you want to interpret that) together and create life. Like a thunderstorm that releases the rain and all the tension behind and the chaos clears up leaving everything in s state of calm and relax.
True. My view has considerably changed and widened during the last year. I sense & feel some things I didn't before.you have opened yourself up to a new concept or direction that you had not fully exposed yourself to in the past. This mean you will be aware and recognizing things that you had not noticed in the past.
It has always been and I absolutely have no idea how it works.So the birthing of the idea of marriage for you is teeming, chaotic profusion.
Very hard. And I should go through it while I don't know where to begin and what to do. Really difficult.This is just the beginning and there is so much to wonder and discover.
So maybe that's not the right time for me to begin?LINE 3:
Six in the fourth place means:
Whoever hunts deer without the forester
Only loses his way in the forest.
The superior man understands the sign of the time
And prefers desist.
To go on brings humiliation.
Then comes a day when I can sucessfully seek union.LINE 4:
Six in the fourth place means:
Horse and wagon part.
Strive for union.
To go brings good fortune.
Everything acts to further.
All I know about a successful relationship is that the two parties love and respect each-other and are willing to protect one another. I can't imagine some concrete, visible factors that make people marriage material. And so is the idea of a successful marriage. Maybe something worthy in another's eyes is worthless for me & vice-versa. So, I can't say if I'm marriage material in someone's eyes; and even if I know I am, their idea may be so different from mine that being together leads to disappointment.Remember you goal is different than it has been in the past. .. For you know if someone sees you as someone who is marriage material and can create a happy marriage, you must know that for yourself.
LINE 5:
Nine in the fifth place means:
Difficulties in blessing.
A little perseverance brings good fortune.
Great perseverance brings misfortune.
Difficult... I admit."Other peoples interpose and distort everything he (you) does. He should then be cautious and proceed step by step...It is only through faithful and conscientious work, unobtrusively carried on, that the situation gradually clears up and hinderance disappears." (Wilhelm, 1997)
Knowing myself as I do, I tell you it's rather my uncertainty of how to find the right partner, how to attract him, how to make things work and so on... or how to find good guys who're not taken. I had this problem even in my early 20s.what stands in your way is...YOU. It is in the uncertainty of how you believe you show up or how you think other people think about you.
I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.the difficulty is in believing that you are worthy and increasing your confidence so that you will ACCEPT your worthiness?
Amen!You have done the ground work to define yourself with confidence. You will recognize that your outlook on life will change and begin to see many possibilities before you.
I agree. I didn't say this if you asked me two years ago. Now I do.the basic principles that define a couple will also define a friendship
I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.
Well again you are never going to be ready for anything if you take the attitude....much less marriage. At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life ..all of it ..obstacle after obstacle AND success after success
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal it the willingness to continue that counts." Winston Churchill
I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.
Well again you are never going to be ready for anything if you take the attitude....much less marriage. At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life ..all of it ..obstacle after obstacle AND success after success
That's my state of mind towards marriage at this moment, though I can't clearly see the dimensions of profusion.
Quote Originally Posted by
I'm going to say this Mary Blue Sky the simple fact that you've invited an entire Community to investigate whether you are built for marriage... Implies to me that you are swarming with an abundant amount of confusion. Because if you understood this already you wouldn't be asking people from all around the world to draw attention to you to help you figure it out.
All I know about a successful relationship is that the two parties love and respect each-other and are willing to protect one another. I can't imagine some concrete, visible factors that make people marriage material. And so is the idea of a successful marriage. Maybe something worthy in another's eyes is worthless for me & vice-versa. So, I can't say if I'm marriage material in someone's eyes; and even if I know I am, their idea may be so different from mine that being together leads to disappointment.
Miss Mary Blue Sky I'm not here to discuss someone else's idea of worthiness I am talking about your worthiness. Because if you have to ask "am I built for marriage and am I built for a happy marriage "suggest to me that you don't even recognize your worth as as someone 1 who is physically built to get married 2 if you look at your question and you've rephrase it as a following: " am I able to marry and I'm on able to have a happy marriage?" This gives me the strong impression that you are not even considering the one criteria you
identified:.."that marriage can be founded in two people who love each other".
You do not ask from a position of strength but a position of acceptance. you are asking to be acceptable to be married or acceptable enough to have a happy marriage. if you are good enough to marry or if you are built for marriage you are asking someone from the outside to tell you if you are able to marry.
I responded to regarding both parts of the question: The situation is this, you want a relationship, you are wanting to know if you are worthy for marriage and are you worthy for a happy marriage. Well the answer is YES an absolute, unrefutable, undeniable, get out of my way, I deserve everything great and beautiful, a super duper big YES..SO ...AND....what stands in your way is...YOU
Hi again
I posted this thread almost 20 days ago. As the questions have a general aspect I can't talk about the results soon.
I, however, cast another reading with a similar theme: "Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?" (remember that I used to be skeptical about the serious relationships. I wrote that in my previous posts in this thread.)
I got 3.3.4.5 >55
Of course we invite others to discuss our -often personal- problems by sharing our readings. That's a purpose of building such forums. I see nothing wrong with it. Still, those people around the world can simply ignore our questions if they dislike them. I've read no guidelines that qualify such questions as wrong. Yes, I'm confused. I guess we don't bother casting readings if we have no doubts.I'm going to say this Mary Blue Sky the simple fact that you've invited an entire Community to investigate whether you are built for marriage... Implies to me that you are swarming with an abundant amount of confusion. Because if you understood this already you wouldn't be asking people from all around the world to draw attention to you to help you figure it out.
For me it's not a question of worthiness as a human being. I doubt all humans are "built" to get and remain married, as it comes naturally to some people and not to others. Some marry young, without even knowing themselves well, and remain together for decades ; while others strive and strive without getting good results. Regarding my situation, I definitely don't belong to the first group. Again, I don't think that's "wrong" to ask the I Ching if you're built for something.if you have to ask "am I built for marriage and am I built for a happy marriage "suggest to me that you don't even recognize your worth as as someone...if you are good enough to marry or if you are built for marriage you are asking someone from the outside to tell you if you are able to marry.
Yes it can be founded. But doesn't always.This gives me the strong impression that you are not even considering the one criteria you identified:.."that marriage can be founded in two people who love each other".
Sometimes you can't get what you want. No matter how hard you try. You accuse me of being irresponsible too easily. Besides, if I'm not a, to say, "go-getter" it doesn't mean that I don't take responsibility for my actions and their consequences.At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).