taking distance 33.1.2.3

[lalafree]

Dear all,

I would like to share with you this reading and have your insight about it

I decided to take distance from a specific person who is having on me a bad influence.
Actually it was not a decision but a natural and spontaneous course from my side.

My question is
What do i have to expect from this person about my estrangement from his life.
I ask this question because i want to know if he is going to let me go or is gonna keep persevering

Answer is 33.1.2.3

I don't know if the y ching is answering to me describing the situation of me retreating at the present time or if this is him retreating as well and so expect his retreating and we both move on.

How would you read this?

Thanks!!!

 

[Freedda]

Hello

I want to offer some thoughts on your reading, but first I need to offer a caviat: I don't think the I Ching is good at reading a third party's mind or knowing their intentions. I believe it is much better in knowing about the person who is asking the question (you) and knowing your intentions. That's how I direct my response, so please keep that in mind when you read it.

I would offer one more caviat: if this worry about what Mr. Other is going to do is based on some fear of physical harm (or some other type of abuse), I'd seek advice and help from somewhere besides this forum!

So,

Some of the names of Hex. 33 are retreat, withdrawal, distancing, solitude. I get the sense, however, that the withdrawl happening for you might be a bit different than how you described it: it's as if you are standing still and the other person (or more correctly, the relationship with the other person) is floating away.

In either case, you have some distance, but the energy driving it is a bit different.

Being still is not necessarily a bad thing - and sometimes stillness, resting, and inaction are exactly what we need. But that same stillness has a down side to it: you can become too passive and either just let the world go by without engaging in it, or just sit there and just let things come at you, even if unwanted.

I'm not saying that's necessarily true for you, but it is something you might want to look at; and your question seems to hint at that: you didn't ask "what should I do" (your action); you instead said "what is he going to do?"

If you truly want to end the relationship, then some kind of further retreat is in order, and to do it soon. Have you made it clear that you don't what the relationship anymore (or have you only implied or hinted at it)? I don't know if rationally it makes sense, but it's as if you, not the relationship, needs to really break it off. At the same time, I gather this won't be easy or simple, but perhaps necessary.

I am getting the sense that the relationship has a strong intention or pull to it - sort of an 'it is what it is" energy, but in the extreme. I'm not sure if it's the other person who's driving this, or maybe something you're clinging to in the relationship, or simply that there's some strong inertia at work here (or more likely, all of the above).

Whatever the reason, the question remains, what should you do about it?

I'd offer that you look at two things: one is the idea of adapting, of looking for things that can move you past the relationship. It's the idea that at some point, you should take action, look for choices to 'get on with your life.' The down side of this is that there are way too many things you could do, actions or activities you could engage in, so a bit of discernment is called for.

(It reminds me of a lonely time in my life where I started going to bars. At one point a woman asked me "what are you doing here?" - not in a bad way, but simply pointing out that I was clearly out of my element, and perhaps I'd be more comfortable and better served joining a hiking group or playing music with friends.)

So, what are your interests? And which of these are you comfortable with trying? Perhaps that's a good place to start to reclaim your space/your heart after this breakup.

The other related idea is to think about what brings you joy and satisfaction and to focus on those things. Let Mr. Other do what he's going to do - avoid or ignore him if that's what feels safe - and go forward with your life.

Finally, a second caviat: if you had actually enlisted me to interpret a reading for you, I would see if you wanted to explore ways we could refine your question and one thing I'd ask is "why do you care what Mr. Other does?"

The answers could vary: "I care because I know he'll pursue me and I don't want to see his ugly mug ever again!"

Or, "I want to know because despite the hard stuff, I care about him and seeing him again just makes breaking up harder."

Or, "I'm worried he might come after me and do me harm." (in which case, as I said above, you need to seek help other than on this forum!)

Or, "I really want him to purse me so we can continue our relationship." (Maybe odd, but it is a tried and true option for some.)

I'd want to know this because it would reveal much about your situation, and it might clarify the advice and answer you are getting from the I Ching. Maybe it's a question you may want to ask yourself as well.

Kind regards, David.

 

[bradford]

larouge-
Have you seen my translation? My title for this Hexagram is Distancing and the commentary deals with Retreat in the context of this meaning.
If you happen to use the Tarot too, there's more on that same subject here, under the Four of Swords.
http://www.hermetica.info/Tarot.htm#77

 

[Freedda]

Have you seen my translation? My title for this Hexagram is Distancing and the commentary deals with Retreat in the context of this meaning.

Thank you Bradford. I made use of your translation in the thoughts I shared.

 

[bradford]

Is there a blacklist on Clarity for thoughtless people who start threads and then disappear?

 

[lalafree]

hey bradford! I'm not disappeared!...
What Freeda wrote about my reading moved so many things inside me that I needed time to think about it.
I'm only a human being ... with my on time, a job, and a life.
So if this is a good reason for you to put me in a blacklist... feel free!!..thoughtless..

 

[lalafree]

hey bradford! I'm not disappeared!...
What Freeda wrote about my reading moved so many things inside me that I needed time to think about it.
I'm only a human being ... with my own time, a job, and a life.
So if this is a good reason for you to put me on a blacklist... feel free!!..thoughtless..

 

[bradford]

hey bradford! I'm not disappeared!...
What Freeda wrote about my reading moved so many things inside me that I needed time to think about it.
I'm only a human being ... with my own time, a job, and a life.
So if this is a good reason for you to put me on a blacklist... feel free!!..thoughtless..

Your bruised and offended ego aside, this is a problem here. Lots of people are here to either learn to interpret the Yi or to help others who struggle, and they put thought and care into their responses. Both want engagement and feedback, but way too often they just respond into an echoless void. Try being more considerate of others.

Another thing that too few people do, that has also been the subject off whole threads, is come back and report after the situation has resolved, so that people can learn from hindsight.

 

[Liselle]

...posting something quick like "I've seen your response, am thinking about it / am swamped, will post more later" would also be fine. (And then, of course, do so.)