THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER Pt.2

[serchjing]

Hello again,

Coming to terms with my mother's death recently has reminded me yet again how short, precious, and fragile life is. I'm doing alot of self-reexamination as you can all imagine. Asking myself what am I doing with my time here. Am I wasting it? What should I be doing? How can I improve the lives of others like my mother did? What should I be doing for a living? So on and so forth. I asked the Yi two questions. The second question having to do with a dream that I've given up over this last year, having to do with a business dream.

1. When will I die?
Hex#9 9-5, 9-6 changing into Hex# 11




2. I want to pursue my business dream again, what do you think?
Hex#21 9-1, 6-2, 6-3, 9-6 changing into Hex# 32



What do you make of all this? I'm somewhat clouded right now I feel spiritually, and feel like I can't "see" the advice the Yi is giving.


Sincerely,

m

 

[lightofreason]

Hello again,

m

From a non-divinatory position, you are obviously working with grief at the moment. This is the realm of Mountain so I would suggest reflection on mountain-based hexagrams as well as mountain-topped hexagrams.

In this reflection note that mountain in the bottom position is more about blockage/stopping and in the sense of self about self-restraint.

The TOP position for mountain is more about turning that blocking around, moving from the reactive to the procactive through learning discernment. At a basic level this is using your mother's voice in your head as a guide ('what would mom do?') - I note a sense of respect for her decision skills and so you can exploit that.

In this process so one establishes a bond that transcends the physical death and in so doing aids in resolving the grief (it also aids in resolving past issues)

For a page covering the IC and Elizabeth Kuber-Ross's work on grief see:

http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/grief.html

Note that mountain and fire are variations on a theme - and so the transition from grief to acceptance is one of moving from values to facts.

 

[lightofreason]

1. When will I die?
Hex#9 9-5, 9-6 changing into Hex# 11

From the accumulation of small gains one will reach a position of becoming an agent of balancing/mediating ... and then ...

2. I want to pursue my business dream again, what do you think?
Hex#21 9-1, 6-2, 6-3, 9-6 changing into Hex# 32

From a position of solving some initial problems will emerge commitment.

Chris.

 

[willowfox]

Hi Mirror saw,

Question 1; "When will I die?' Well Hex 9.6 suggests that you do not dwell on this subject because it will only bring you unhappiness and other misfortunes. Hex 11 peace suggests that you accept what life has in store for you and then you will find inner peace. Don't concern yourself, you will be around for a long time to come. The I-Ching cannot give you the hour, day, month or year of your death.

The answer to the second question;
Hex 21.1 for the moment you will not be able to make any progress ( family issues).
Hex 21.2 says for you start moving forward,to persevere, don't give up.
Hex 21.3 you will come up against an old nasty problem that will have to be resolved but again, keep going.
Hex 21.6 you will be blocked if you don't listen to good advice, people will warn you of dangers heed their advice.

Hex 32 persevere, continue with your plan, don't give up, keep on moving then your dream will become a reality.

 

[hilary]

Dear Mirror Saw

I am truly sorry you've lost your Mum. The same happened to me last month, so I can recognise some of what you say - the re-examination, and how can I do what she did, and feeling 'clouded'. My own instincts tell me to expect and demand less from myself for a while. What about yours?

From one clouded person to another...

I have to agree with Willowfox that Yi is not going to give you a date and hour to 'aim for'! But perhaps it will talk about the quality of the time. So if life is about Taming the creative powers of Flowing (11) in small ways... I think the lines are saying you won't die until you're done. When you have truth, and bonds with others, as a guiding principle and source of wealth; then when it's already rained, and things are already settled, when there is 'de contained' and no more expeditions to be made. You have time to complete your work.

Pursuing the dream again? Not without some really fierce investigating and pursuit of the truth. Maybe 'biting through' needs to become an enduring habit; maybe, too, there could be some enduring habits that you'd need to bite through.

What is the core of the dream? Of what you want to give? Who wants it, exactly? How would you be remunerated? What are the numbers? To pursue dreams in business you need to 'bite through' to the nitty gritty.

(*Sigh. Suppose I should do the accounts, but those are some numbers I really do not want to see...*)

With all those lines, I would pay most attention to the first. If right now for practical reasons (like being in the middle of mourning - and probably truckloads of practical stuff, too) you can't make progress, don't worry. That could be a blessing in disguise: it keeps you from rushing in and messing up, and by taking things slower you may be able to see bigger opportunities.

Later on you can get stuck in with gusto and, like Willowfox says, deal with some old nasty problem. And keep listening! (Keeping on asking 'what am I not hearing about this?' is a good response to 21.6.)

 

[philippa]

Hi mirrow saw,

I wish to express my condolences!

I don't have much to add other than that I see hex 9 as a reminder to give yourself the time (密雲不雨, or the clouds are gathering) and space (自我西郊; in this specific case, I'm leaning towards translating it as being alone in the western rural region, rural = far away from the city). It's a kind and humane answer (if the Yi or its answer were to take on any human characteristics).

As an aside, I'm not entirely sure that the 7x7/49 days funeral ritual (mentioned in your other post) is really a buddhist/taoist thing. It's so entrenched in Chinese popular culture that it can easily be a myth. That said, I often hear anecdotal remarks on witnessing the dead manifesting oneself in some form (e.g., wind suddenly gusting in the direction of the natural air flow; a butterfly) on the 49th day after death as a way to telling their relatives that they are fine.

Whatever the truth is, I suspect the Yi has picked up on your idea of the funeral ritual. Clearly, 7x7/49 days can easily be something symbolic for you -- a period that allows you to "gather the clouds" before rain.

You have my best wishes!

Philippa

 

[jesed]

Hi Mirrow Saw

The dark clouds of death are still far away from you (hex 9), so you could achive a fertile live (hex 11)

Searching for your dream is good, but you need to break whatever habits that weak your persistence. This is a matter of develop self-personality.

Best wishes

 

[serchjing]

Hello All,

Many thanks and kind thoughts go out to all of you for replying to my posts. Hilary, my heart is with you as well. Chris, jesed, willowfox, philippa, H, thank you.

Willowfox:
Hex 21.3 you will come up against an old nasty problem that will have to be resolved but again, keep going.

Can you recommend how I could phrase my question to ask Yi about this "old nasty problem" ?


Chris:
From a position of solving some initial problems will emerge commitment.

Can you elaborate on this for me?


humbly,

m

 

[willowfox]

Hi mirror saw,

regarding your question about Hex 21.3 wait until you know exactly what the problem is before you start asking questions.

 

[dobro p]

Hope you don't mind my response to your initial question.

"I'm doing alot of self-reexamination as you can all imagine. Asking myself what am I doing with my time here. Am I wasting it? What should I be doing? How can I improve the lives of others like my mother did? What should I be doing for a living?

1. When will I die?
Hex#9 9-5, 9-6 changing into Hex# 11"

I'll read it in the context of all those excellent questions you were asking before you framed your first formal Yi question. Those are wonderful questions you asked. If you spend some time continuing to ask them and look and wait for the answer to emerge in your life, I think something really positive will come of it. That's why I'd think that the Yi's response to your question is something along the lines of: "Gently restrain your enquiry into the time of your own death, cuz the time for that isn't now; gentle restraint is enough; do this, and let heaven communicate to the earth in your life."

You'll probably have to do some work to listen to heaven. Or maybe it'll come like a gift. Either way's nice.