The Marrying Maiden

[meganj]

Okay so just recently I asked the oracle regarding a question concerning my relationship with my bf of 6 months.. I've gotten this same answer for the past few months and am not entirely 100% sure what it means yet. So my question was "What is the future bringing our relationship?" and the answer was: "The Marrying Maiden", changing to "Resolve", now because of my lack of experience with the iching i'm not quite sure what it's trying to tell me. The first part maybe that he's putting some woman ahead of me, or like i'm a second choice (which is kind of how I feel).
I feel he still has feelings for another girl (even tough he tells me that he doesn't anymore, he did before),
And now it seems she has feelings for him also.
We've had a handful of conversations now about this, it being a huge weight on my mind and heart, I don't want to bring it up but it's effecting our time together.
I don't want him to stop talking to her because I feel that's wrong.
But no matter how many times we talk it through the feeling of resolve is not long lasting and the feeling comes back.
This relationship has had alot of ups and downs within the past 6 months.. but it has made us stronger, closer and more open in communication. There are many good things and changes this has brought us both..
In the 8th month though something is supposed to happen..
We are on a decline/ decrease, now after a time of increase, (meaning our good fortune, and happiness?)
does that mean difficulties will arise or is this when things are really going to get bad?

Megan

 

[meganj]

oh and about the last part of that post.. they were done in seperate readings but about my relationship for both (about the 8th month thing, and the decrease/ increase)
along with the good, those were the worrisome answers I got.

 

[rosada]

What were the hexagrams and change lines you received? 54.4 > 19?

rosada

 

[meganj]

54 then it points out the 3rd line then the 5th > then to 43 (Resolve) :s
54.3.5(?)>43

 

[meganj]

19 was in a seperate reading about my relationship.. I keep getting it tho over the past few months

 

[chingching]

from what you've said it looks like you were in a state of 54, not ready for changes that you had to deal with regardless. 54.3 looks like at some point you resisted some of the influences but by 54.5 you accepted what you had to do in and for your relationship and there has been a breakthrough (another name for 43, hilary's ???) now is thew time for 19, something on the approach or maybe just your own approach. looks good.

54 so often comes up in relationship questions for me, and it mostly is when I feel I cant do anything because would you know there is another person involved and their input counts, so there is a sense of powerlessness for me. Not saying thats you, just illustrates how it points to the anxiety lack of total power and need for adjustment for the sake of relating.

We've had a handful of conversations now about this, it being a huge weight on my mind and heart, I don't want to bring it up but it's effecting our time together.

thats 54, and in particular 54.3

I don't want him to stop talking to her because I feel that's wrong.

and that's 54.5, accepting some limitations I guess, you cant tell him to stop talking to anyone... so its a tough one. But you dont have to sit back entirely

43 is also called deciding (ewald???) sorry going off top of my head this morning, in terms of being resolute. Lise calls it the speaking staff.

example. This morning I pulled 43 as relating in regards to a business colleague, and then i got a text from her saying she wanted to remove some web work I'd done for her and now that she has said that our business relations are complete, and I actually feel like the frienship we had naturally occuring in the background now has room to breathe, she made a decision and it was a breakthrough, albeit fairly minor...but still quite a relief.

in terms of 54.5 and your situation, you've said you;'ve already spoken about your concerns so perhaps you need to be more resolute in what you need without stepping over the line, impinging on his needs.
seems like still more work to do if this is where you are, but 19 is hopeful.

I've had two scenarios myself (long time ago) when I was like the girl your partner cant stop talking to. In one senario the girlfriend simply played head games with me until I cracked and could take it no longer, in any case I knew the relationship I had with her boyfriend wasn't good. Ended very badly though. In the other case nothing was coming from me, but the boyfriend was going through something and was seeking me out for things he should have been talking about with his girlfriend. She never brought it up but instead worked on her relationship with him and they sorted it out and our friendship remains. I no longer have such a close connection with him but thats a good thing and we all enjoy each others company. well anyway hope that helps

 

[icastes]

When the master of the house brings home a young concubine, the first wife must tread lightly. (One remembers the movie Raise the Red Lantern--with Gong Li--about this very subject.) One must have great patience and move very carefully. The moving lines promise both failures and successes. If you are infatuated with a man solely on a physical level, you are going suffer misfortune. In other words, 54 says you must reform yourself. Complications abound. While there may be a period of tenderness and affection, but 54 usually ends in sad separation. As for marriage, success is unlikely. For some women, 54 indicates that there is more than one woman involved. Although 43 is full of yang force, what love there is is one-sided or one party is trying too hard. Impetuousness and eagerness will not work. Failure is a very strong possibility. While 43 is a good sign for determination and strength, it does not help at all in love life or marriage.

 

[meganj]

Thank you for shedding some light on my situation!!
But of course when once question is answered it produces other questions.
And now the one on my mind is in concern with 19.
The situation is that we are in a long-distance relationship, and in the earlier part of things, the trust was breached.
It took me awhile to see the sincerity of him wanting to work things out, and we got through the obstuction finally a few weeks ago. He has not cheated on me but lied.
I have a worry that maybe this might happen again in the 8th month when he is finished school ( in April).
I want him to move with me for a couple of months but on the other-hand I think maybe that's just the selfish part of me wanting to be closer to him, and not good for his own development. I feel like I am unable to make such a great influence on him as I can when we are with each other then when we are apart. In 4 months I am able to move and take the next step in life and in love.
But the time in between is very.. unclear?

 

[bamboo]

the reference to the 8th month is not the message of this drawing, 19...the 8th month refers to what could happen if the message of 19 is not acted upon, in my understanding.

19's message is not that of an unqualified breakthrough of something good, it is an omen for readying the ground for what is coming, it signifies an approach of something new, but it has been likened to the garden at the first hint of spring...when the land is still hard and debris needs to be cleared away, the time when one gets ready to get ready to plant the garden. If the preliminary work is not accomplished, well, when harvest time (8th month) finally arrives, the garden is likely to be a disaster! it's way too late to prepare when already the unwanted growth has started coming in all tangled and mixed up with old dead weeds and general debris. so the message of the 19 is to prepare now, do what you need to do to create the most fertile space for coming newness. 19 seems to be a figure who is overseeing the process

the 54 readings are not entirely discouraging. 54.5 is a very auspicious omen for future happiness, per karcher. and the 43 seems to underline making your intentions known, deciding for what you want. I don't think it is ever helpful to decide that what you want is a certain person, per se, but just to get clear about the kind of relationship you want, and what you value most in a relationship, what can be negotiated and what is a deal-breaker. you must be true to yourself.

I would say that 19 advises not being one who is waiting to see what someone else is going to do or not do, but being one who has decided what she wants and is willing to do what needs to be done. the "garden" could be in your own psyche! Get clear there! Prepare yourself and your life for receiving .

 

[anemos]

Hi

a couple of thoughts re 54 and 19

both have the aspect of time.
54 -imageTHE IMAGE

Thunder over the lake:
The image of THE MARRYING MAIDEN.
Thus the superior man

Understands the transitory
In the light of the eternity of the end.

19 THE JUDGMENT

APPROACH has supreme success.
Perseverance furthers.
When the eighth month comes,
There will be misfortune.

at 54 what you might want isn't not available but what makes it easier is that it requires consent. ephemeral /eternal. present /future. if the eternal worths , it worths to wait line 3) and not react impulsive.( line 3) till the proper time ( line 5). The resolution(43) you want passes through 54 and the details are in 54's lines.

At 19 , on the other hand sometimes is like a opportunity and the eight months is when that opportunity is lost or mishandled. So perhaps here is not about the 8th month of your relationship , assuming that the answer is not literal but something more general, on how you manage the whole situation.

there is a lots of time aspects in your last post so thought to mention it in case you find it helpful.

 

[anemos]

crossed post with Bamboo.

 

[meganj]

Turns out I was second choice to this man... He put his work and school ahead of me.
We had our ups and downs but nothing ever really got better, once we ceased to grow together that's when the spark died. I fought way too long for something that never happened, I always knew in my heart I would never marry him, I was very lonely and something was missing, he helped filled the missing parts of me.
But he did show me direction I knew I had to have purpose in life, so I went off to find it... 3 years later I don't career but I have goals, I am doing work which I love and have opportunities to grow.
With 54.4
He wasn't the right man for me, and I had remained in the relationship hoping but I knew that someday things would be right and I would probably meet another person, a real partner. We were never meant to be him and I....
Weirdly enough I drew this same reading today, and think it is another sign that my most recent ex Michael is not the right partner as well, and I should continue to wait.. The time will come one day.

19- when the 8th months comes misfortune... The misfortune did come, and I left.
I knew after awhile I was lying to myself and that it would never work.
I left not long after posting this thread, it was a make-up,break-up relationship I had stuff that I wasn't dealing with...

We are on good terms now though I talked to him not too long ago, he's with a new girl and we remain friends