The past & friendships

[Lodestar]

past & friendships - 20uc, 39.4-31, 13.1.3-12

Hi folks, any feedback most appreciated here Recently people from the past have been popping up out of the blue, getting back in touch..

With the intention of clearing up the past, and gauging by their reaction if I want to renew the acquaintance - I brought up an old wound with one person, thinking I better do it now or I'll never.. Their reply was 'ok' but basically exonerated the other people involved saying noone 'meant any harm' - basically I think this is a v common ruse used to let people off the hook for their behaviour. I don't feel my feelings have been validated or that I have been really understood. My intention with my message was to either start again and build trust or decide there isn't enough here on which to build it - I asked was sending the message the effective thing to do? 39.4-31

Do I want to cultivate this connection? What is the energy of this particular connection? 13.1.3-12. ??

I guess the over-arching question for me really is: How can I now process all these unresolved situations from the past that drained my energy and self-esteem? 20 Seeing

 

[Lodestar]

Ok I'll have a go..

39.4-31 no idea really.. Limping/influence. Bringing up the past out of context brings no progress? No idea.

13.1.3-12
.1 dreamhawk - affiliation out of common interest can bring no blame. There should be no secrecy.
Lise .3 try to find the right size of trust and mistrust.
Not sure what the overall message is though.

20uc - a time to see and be seen. Through contemplation I will understand the patterns that have trapped me and obscured my understanding.. (To see) - Through contemplation I will uncover, 'under-obscure' myself from this past (be seen)

 

[ginnie]

was sending the message the effective thing to do? 39.4-31

To proceed would lead to trouble . . .

The situations are unresolved only because you have not forgiven the 'offenders' and moved on. Let go of the past, especially since it is not serving you well to hold onto it!

 

[Lodestar]

Thanks for your reply Ginnie. Too late for that I'm afraid! Message already sent.. .

I only remembered the situation because of getting this contact out of the blue.. and I thought, it's important in terms of deciding if I'm going to bother with re-establishing a connection.

But perhaps I didn't need to make that process so explicit - I could have just admitted to myself my genuine feelings about the experience - without being so open. ....seeing people for the level they are on, and deal with them with that in mind..