To be or not to be with him

[piraye33]

Dear Members,

I am in a difficult relationship since more than half a year. We are living in different cities which makes things harder although from the beginning we felt a dual strong connection. We have a communication problems, especially for him is hard to really get involved and he always blames distance. He wants to give it to the time and for him the situation is satisfying. Unfortunately, I feel the opposite. I asked the I Ching oracle how the situation will evolve and if I should finish this relationship for better future. However I need to point that I have really strong feeling towards him and have a lot of hope that if we live in the same place, he would treat me the way I want.

The answer of oracle was 1 (Czhien) with the third line (III) changing into 10 (Li).

Please let me know what do you think I Ching try to tell. As my personal interpretation I feel that I need to focus on myself and wait. Thanks a lot . I am really getting devastated with the decision because I am neither fully happy in this relationship but from the other side I don't want to let him go from my life

 

[blue_angel]

The reading doesn't look promising in terms of love or relationship. But it seems to reflect the question back to you a bit. Seems to be advising you to be cautious and step back and take a look at this situation clearly. You have to follow your own path. So perhaps your interpretation is correct. Focus on yourself.

Long distance relationships are difficult but there is no way of knowing how he will treat you in person. But if the way he treats you now is not satisfying, I would take that into consideration. Especially since on his end it is satisfying. I don't feel we can expect others to treat us the way we want. Expectations of others often lead to disappointment.

 

[beatpoet]

I asked the I Ching oracle how the situation will evolve and if I should finish this relationship for better future.

It will evolve based on your own intentions or expectations about the relationship (hex 1) which currently seem to be that the relationship will grow more difficult for you in the future because you are in separate cities and that he is/will be too busy or caught up in his own life (line 3).

10 describes your current situation and also gives a clue on how to make it evolve more positively.

See Wilhelm and note the commentary of the weak line (is it you?) And strong line:

The situation is really difficult. That which is strongest and that which is weakest are close together. The weak follows behind the strong and worries it. The strong, however, acquiesces and does not hurt the weak, because the contact is in good humor and harmless. In terms of a human situation, one is handling wild, intractable people. In such a case one's purpose will be achieved if one behaves with decorum. Pleasant manners succeed even with irritable people.

Unsolicited advice:
Since you do have strong feelings... Why not take a more hopeful line and ask Yi to help you? Maybe ask questions like "What actions can I take to improve things?" or "What approach would create joy (strength, success etc et

Or perhaps just shift your beliefs that it is only going to get worse and go with the poetic thought of absence makes the heart grow fonder rather than out of sight, out of mind.

Best of luck,

beatpoet

 

[piraye33]

Thank you very much for your help. Beatpoet, I listened to your advice and asked how I could improved things with that man and the Oracle replied me as follows:

36 - MING with the 1st (I) and 3rd (III) line changing into 2 - KHUEN.

I feel like it advises me to not take any progress, to not show my true feelings too much. From Khuen, I feel like I should listen to other, wiser people advises and to be truly receptive.

After this, I asked more general question, how can I bring more joy, happiness,love and success to my life.

Received; 13 - THONG with 3rd(III) and 4th(IV) changing lines into 17 - SUI.

The answer was more positive and promising. I should take more care with whom I am making friends but however through people I can be more happy. Communication is the key. Interpretation 'Balancing the heart and mind of leadership will help assure steady progress'. Also I fell that some rest is necessary.

Do you see any hint for an approach I should take in love? I will be very grateful for help with an interpretation

Piraye

 

[ginnie]

asked how I could improved things with that man and the Oracle replied me as follows: 36 - MING with the 1st (I) and 3rd (III) line changing into 2 - KHUEN.

This man does not appreciate you and that is a conflict that will be ongoing. I think you should bring that online relationship to an end and go out and make better friends. Be truly discriminating, and Yi can help with this.

 

[beatpoet]

Is this an online relationship?

Your readings:

How I could improved things with that man and the Oracle replied me as follows:

36 - MING with the 1st (I) and 3rd (III) line changing into 2 - KHUEN

Okay so the emphasis is on HOW TO IMPROVE....

To improve the situation: Toughen up emotionally and put your love feelings for him aside (hex 36) while you take the necessary steps to change the situation for the better (3) but prepare for the likelihood that he may at first cut you off for awhile and/or may speak derisively to you/about you since you are going against how the relationship has been functioning to date (1) until he can absorb it all (hex 2).

Seems like then he would have a decision to make.

how can I bring more joy, happiness,love and success to my life.

Received; 13 - THONG with 3rd(III) and 4th(IV) changing lines into 17 - SUI.

This would suggest that you need to dissolve your fears and distrust (3) that you have about relating to and unifying with others (hex 13) and continue to work on breaking down barriers or conflict within the self like the need to be in control (4) that are keeping you from flowing naturally with life (hex 17).

That is what I understand the Yi to be replying.

beatpoet

 

[piraye33]

'Is this an online relationship?'

Beatpoet, it is not but is a long distance one which is hard as Blue_angel pointed too.

'This man does not appreciate you and that is a conflict that will be ongoing.'

Ginnie, I feel it too however I will try to apply to my situation the advise of Beatpoet as a last rescue wheel..

Thank you so much for your help

 

[piraye33]

'Is this an online relationship?'

Beatpoet, it is not but is a long distance one which is hard as Blue_angel pointed too.

'This man does not appreciate you and that is a conflict that will be ongoing.'

Ginnie, I feel it too however I will try to apply to my situation the advise of Beatpoet as a last rescue wheel..

Thank you so much for your help

 

[beatpoet]

Yi is the one who gave us advice . Best of luck.