totalled confusion

[goddessliss]

Hi,

One would think I could/should move on from this weird/funny/upsetting relationship that I have questioned in my previous threads but all of a sudden I find my self sitting there with what feels like a confused frown on my face and heartfelt feelings for this man.
One moment I think there is no way I would even talk to him again let alone anything else and the next moment I have a very strong desire to be with him...what tha?
This has gotta be the most confusing thing I have ever experienced in my life I can't recall a time where I have suddenly found my self sitting there feeling quite perplexed, you know right in the middle of doing something else. Totally foreign to me.

So asked How can I move on from my confusion about him
Hex 58.1.3>28

thks blessings
Melissa

 

[elias]

You describe a textbook "ego intrusion." (There are other names, that just happens to be my favorite.)The good news is you're getting past an issue, the bad news is that your ego realizes that it's losing a battle and concocts all sorts of sublime and ridiculous schemes to make things wonderful, and leaps in when your guard lets down for the moment. Mantras may help get you back into the present moment, and meditation may help gain an awareness of what these are and how to discourage them.

The reading looks like quite a mixed message, but there may be a logic. The image of Lake over Lake suggests mutual support and help from others. Joy, but with some caveats. Line 3 particularly cautions about acting without inner substance. You may resolve to move past confusion on this issue, but you're not yet ready to do so internally. But you are making progress and meditating, talking it thru with friends, etc may build some strength.

28 . "The ridgepole sags" suggests the situation -- either internally or externally -- is coming to a turning point. "Developed people stand along without fear, avoid society without distress.... Only when sustained by the power to stand alone without distress can learning be firmly rooted and have a proper basis." As noted elsewhere, the ridgepole sags but never breaks.

So, perhaps you're reaching a place where you can stand alone on this, though it may not feel like it when you find yourself overwhelmed by confusion.

 

[goddessliss]

Elias, you describe it pretty much how its been. As soon as I start feeling settled again(let guard down) then the ego jumps right on in. Ego and soul are the words I constantly use so ego is exactly how I would descibe it.

I am so, so fortunate to have a woman friend in her 70's who has an amazing understanding of many healing modes and meditating daily is helping me move through as best I can, so thankyou for that confirmation as well.
I have also felt that I do need to stand strong(rooted in self) before I make a move in any direction.
I am so grateful he will be away for another week because I have no doubt he would still be finding excuses for contact one way or the other if he was here and I feel it would only continue to weaken my position, cause wow he can still hurt my heart.
Hopefully by the time he gets back, energetically it will be cleared and he does not even attempt contact.
Thks once again Elias, blessings Melissa