Trapped. 17.1.3.4 to 39

[AylaXIvy]

Hex 17.1.3.4 to 39 in response to 'how to free myself?'

I feel really unhappy in my current relationship, and also with my life, I just feel so trapped where I am, it's hard to explain.... I'm losing myself, I feel Im disconnected from everything that really matters and being replaced by an artificial life. I don't feel I can trust who Im with and Im cut off from other essential relationships and experiences. My whole life revolves around my boyfriend and its really unhealthy. I dont see my family nearly enough, but I want to. they live far away so its hard to pay for the gas to visit. Tonight I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, and I started thinking I wouldnt mind throwing away what I have here if it meant being free and being myself. I'm just wondering if anyone sees anything important or interesting about this reading they might like to share. Ill also keep everyone updated on what happens because I know that's important, and I Also benefit from reading the outcomes of the questions of others in the archives.
My basic interpretation of this is that 39 represents the current situation and how I feel, as well as that 17 is 'following' my boyfriend (as opposed to standing as an independent entity). I believe line 1 is referring to me realizing I should change my life. I don't however understand line 3 or 4 very well and could benefit from specifically discussing those lines, but any interpretation of this reading would be helpful.

 

[Trojina]

No the 17 isn't about following your boyfriend in that negative sense of avoiding independence, I'd say it was encouragement to follow up on anything that takes your fancy in terms of doing stuff that interests you.

You have given your situation a very negative spin and I wonder how much of this is based on other people's ideas of what you should be doing or what your life should be like. I say this because you are describing your situation as if it were one big mistake. What if it weren't ? What if you were in exactly the right place you need to be and the right place you need to go from....despite what it looks like ?

The reading isn't saying you are trapped, it's simply encouraging you to go out of your door (17.1) and pursue what takes your interests. 17.3 encourages you to view this less as a child more as an adult. That might mean here realising you aren't trapped against your will, you made this choice for some reason, and you can now do as you wish from where you are. Not sure about the 17.4 here....But your attitude is like 39...like there is a great big mountain to 'independence' and you can't cross it. The reading says you can if you allow yourself to follow your own aspirations, interests and ideals. I think you can do that from precisely where you are. Your boyfriend might even be a supportive factor here, giving a certain stability whilst you expand your horizons.

You haven't said if you are unhappy with him...but it doesn't seem like he's the central issue here.

I think it would help to tell yourself a different version of the situation....like re write the above description of your life in the first post.

For example it's not that this is unhealthy it's just you need to pursue certain directions that are calling you. 17 is very much to do with that feeling of being called to do or be something. So can you follow that calling from the life situation you find yourself in right now ?

That's all you have to do....follow where your heart and interest calls you. There is no great big black trapped problem to sort out, you just have to follow, go out of the gate (17.1) Maybe you can do that whilst still living with your boyfriend ?


Oops sorry you have said you are unhappy with your boyfriend...but I'm wondering if you were happier with your life you'd find you were happier with him ? Anyway if you feel trapped because you live with him and cannot move independently then my advice is to stay with him, develop your own life, and then see what happens.

 

[Trojina]

ps the advice on 'how to free myself' is lovely and clear in this answer...You follow what calls you, you find new things to do (17.1) you meet new people, you discover what your wishes are and follow them.
Maybe go to classes or do voluntary work....or whatever floats your boat. In that way you are not fighting to cross a mountain (39) you are simply following the flow wherever it takes you. Your intellect may say 'oh there's no point in doing that it won't lead anywhere, it won't help me'....don't listen to it. Even if you begin something small it can have a freeing effect by taking attention away from that mountain and into the flow of where you want to be.

 

[AylaXIvy]

Yes Trojina thank you for responding. I thought a lot about what you said, it was really eye opening and I know it's true. I probably would be happier with my relationship if I were only happier with my life, and my boyfriend WOULD want to support me. It's a really good thing I decided to post this reading, I almost didn't and I thought that I had for the most part figured it out. It's just really interesting how something can seem so clear (as in my acceptance of my interpretation of the lines) but to see the same information used to illustrate a seemingly different point altogether. It really makes me question my interpretation of the hexagrams I cast on my own so decidedly. Maybe I see what I expect to see a lot, well... Of course I do!

I'm happy You said what you did because it kind of turned the question back on me, which is where the real power is. And I wouldn't have wanted to actually leave my boyfriend, but I was definitely at the point where I would have. And in reference to your advice about line 1, I actually joined the gym recently and going to it has been such a breath of fresh air for me. I'm also trying to be more independent in a lot of small but critical ways, and I've made it a point to take time to go on a holiday by myself as well. And when you said maybe I was viewing my situation too negatively, I did reconsider that maybe I really COULD be in exactly the right place at the right time. What a relief that really is... And I know I was basing at least some of it off of what other people think my life should look like, so that was all very helpful, thank you. I've had a paradigm shift about the situation and I feel I can remedy it by focusing on myself and building a life that is central to who I am and what I want to be. Thank you Trojina, I will think about the points you made for some time to come