Understanding 29 and 17 on relationship matters

[FreeBirdTravelling]

Hello dear members!

Please, I am asking you in advance to excuse my English, as it is not my mother tongue.

I have been asking the IChing oracle general questions some time and now I wanted to ask about a personal matter that is completely confusing me and I need some emotional clarity.

The real life situation is as following:
I am in my 30s, female and some years single out of a relationship, where in general, I was a complete loser and finally my Ex broke up with me. This was a life lesson and I started working on my character, leading to me being now a well respected, hard working woman.

Recently, I started going on some (boring) dates again.

In the summer I visited my best friend for a few days and there it happened, I was strongly attracted by his brother. I already knew that he is good looking, from my point of view, but this time it was magnetic. I didn't make any move, however, because of the next paragraph.

Now I know this is an oxymoron, but nothing has happened with this guy so far and my logical self keeps telling me that it is okay, because except his outer appearance, he is to 80% the person I was when I was with my Ex: dysfunctional and a complete loser who lives spending his family's money, while remaining unemployed. His Ex gf broke up with him after 7 years, and now, 2 years after this happened, he still hasn't got the message out of this.

Yesterday, my best friend and his family visited my city and in the evening we went out. His brother did not come, which was a clear sign to me that he is not interested. Plus it provided me the opportunity to tell my best friend that the reason I did not approached his brother is his character qualities.

Today, I woke up very confused and since I know that I have to concentrate on all my important matters instead of this, I felt the need to consult the IChing:

I asked "what does he want from me" and I received 29 as an answer.

I asked "what do I need from him" and I received 17 as an answer.

The reason I am asking this question is because, even if being logical, I question my IQ for having feelings for that person, yet... I do have feelings for that person! This annoys me and I am trying to become logical again.

Please only answers in normal English, as my perception of the language is good, but yet I have great difficulties in understanding the oracle's answers in matters of feelings, relationships and so on.

Thank you in advance for your precious time.

 

[Trojina]

Why do you think he wants something from you ?

 

[FreeBirdTravelling]

My intuition, but of course I'm completely wrong, since the above stated facts are completely opposite. That's another thing that annoyed me, because otherwise my intuitions works very well.
Example: One month ago I messaged a guy that I can't meet him again, because there is no common ground and he did not reply at all. My girls told me that he's an a*** but I calmly replied that he will come around again.
One month later, he messages again and wants to meet, just at the point where I was thinking that this particular guy will message me again. (I'm not interested in him, my first dates after such a long time are just to test the waters and to understand men again)

 

[FreeBirdTravelling]

I forgot to add: I did not cast the oracle to hear lovey dovey answers. I appreciate the frank, brutal truth. It has been liberating so far.

 

[legume]

for some reason when reading about 29 in the context of your cast i had "do easy" (short film by gus van sant) come to mind. it also reminds me of someone i spoke to recently, who took a certain I Ching workshop once and learned to be Kan or water personality type. this person is very introverted yet always working gradually towards her goals by simply taking on each task at hand. mastering the art of "do easy".

29 is water repeated and often interpreted as learning through repetition. you mention the guy is still living with his parents and seems to be a loser for not having moved on yet, 2 years after his last long term relationship. interesting, as very recently came across a youtube video and got sucked into reading all sorts of comments about grownups still living with their parents and their reasons for it. and to be fair, it actually opened my mind. being also in my 30s, for the last decade i strived to free myself from any family ties. but as my parents grow older i'm actually starting to change my view on things. the idea of multi-generational home feels weirdly soothing all of a sudden. anyway, i guess what i'm trying to say, however we perceive things, might not be as they are. i come from a country where gaining quick personal independence is considered a measure of success, but i moved to a place where saving money is valued much more, so a lot of young professionals gather small fortunes while staying with their families before (or while) starting one on their own.

so in terms of your question, i'm thinking maybe he's just the kind of guy who does easy, goes with the flow. possibly he wants nothing from you. possibly, if you'll make a move, he'll reciprocate. but from what i read, it doesn't look like anything serious or an even a fling are actually on his radar, so to speak? that's not to say he doesn't find you attractive, i'd trust women's own intuition about that

as to 17, i'm wondering if this is more of an answer like - you feel you need him to either be a different person (you'd like him to, instead of going with the flow - 29, follow a certain path - 17) or you'd like him to "follow" you more, as in you need his attention?

 

[FreeBirdTravelling]

Hello legume,

thank you for your interesting and refreshing take on my cast!

This is another example of how diverse people can be.

I have to say that living together with the parents is a huge "no" for me, as I am a strongly independent person, enjoying at the moment the fruits of my hard work and dedication. Now, if he would support his parents and contribute to the household expenses, my opinion would be different. But that's not the case.

I also believe that we, being in our 30s, should be able to take a deep breath and grab the bull by the horns, but maybe I will have to understand that this is my own rule and not everyone wants to comply with that...

As for "going with the flow": In the past, I have had 3 relationships, which started off like a NASA rocket. Passion, drama, long distance, social differences, you name it. I am tired and I would like something serious and committed, which will evolve reaaaaaally slow, before both parties will come out saying "well, hello guys, we like each other and we have managed to become a couple"

My intuition says two things a) nada, as you are also implying, b) not now, the first meeting has taken place but it's not the proper timing. Still, I hate this nagging feeling and the whole emotional "exercise", trying to eliminate my feelings and behave maturely.

I do not know if I should totally forget about this thing or just be patient and put it aside for the time being. Your last sentences are 100% accurate. Being completely honest, I saw these guys potential and I'd like him to have a life goal, whatever this may be and me establishing some sort of connection with him, for starters.

Thank you again, I appreciate that you took your time to reply