What are the chances of my ex girlfriend still having feelings for me?

[ChooBoo]

What are the chances of my ex girlfriend still having feelings for me?

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

changing to
48 47
Hexagram 48, the Well



Key Questions

What is the ever-present resource you draw from?
What can you do to realize its potential here?

Oracle

‘The Well. Moving the city, not moving the well.
Without loss, without gain,
They come and go, the well wells.
Almost drawn the water, but the rope does not quite reach the water,
Or breaking one’s clay jug,
Pitfall.’

The people of ancient China would sometimes move a whole city to a more favourable site – and they could take everything with them, except the well. You can transplant your centre and change everything about your life, except for the source you draw on to sustain it all. You cannot own this source, nor carry it with you; whenever you move, you will need first of all to dig a new well to reach it.

The well itself is utterly dependable: nothing anyone can do will raise or lower the water level. People and experiences come and go; time passes; the well is always the well, and does not change. You need never doubt that you have these resources, or that they are enough. The real question is whether you have the means to reach into such depths, and a steady hand to bring the water up into the real world without loss. To fail would be disastrous. The potential in the situation is undeniable, but it may still be a long way from realization.

Image

‘Above the wood is the stream: the Well.
A noble one toils with the people, encouraging them to help one another.’

Sequence

The Well follows from Hexagram 47, Confined:
‘Confined in reaching upward naturally means turning inward, and so the Well follows.’

Changing Lines

Line 3

‘Well is dredged, no drinking.
This makes my heart ache.
It can be used to draw water,
With the king’s clear vision,
People together accept its blessing.’

Line 4

‘Well is being lined,
No mistake.’


Hexagram 47, Confined



Key Questions

What if you could only rely on yourself?
Who are you, when you are alone?

Oracle

‘Confined, creating success.
Constancy of a great person, good fortune.
Not a mistake.
There are words, not trusted.’

The Chinese character for ‘Confined’ or ‘oppressed’ shows a tree completely encircled by walls: an image of entrapment and isolation. You are cut off, and cannot reach out to others. The great person finds good fortune in constancy to an inner ideal. This is the supreme test of character: whether you can hold to your purpose when there is no encouragement, no confirmation from outside, but only your own inner resources. The lack of outward signs of progress does not mean that you are wrong, or that the world is wrong. Rather than resenting the walls, concentrate on the life and growth within them.

Do not place too much value on words: they will not provide you with a way out – neither conversation, nor argument, nor your own reasoning and theorizing. Words alone are only circulating ideas; they lack the real, personal connection that would make them trustworthy.

Image

‘Lake without water: Confined.
A noble one carries out the mandate, fulfils her aspiration.’

Sequence

Being Confined follows from Hexagram 46, Pushing Upward:
‘Pushing upward and not reaching an end is naturally Confining.’

Pair

Confined forms a pair with Hexagram 48, the Well:
‘The Well is wholly connected; Confined means meeting together.’

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[altair139]

48.3.4 > 47
Line 3: Your love is still there, but no one needs it right now (it goes unnoticed)
Line 4: You have to fix yourself, patch your emotional wound and move on with life.

Hex 47: The situation will exhaust you, but it won't last forever, after some time you will resolve this yourself. For now make use of this situation instead, take care of yourself and work on your career or ambition.
So the chances of your ex-gf having feelings for you? The yi just told you to not even bother about that. You should not care. Move on with life is the best thing to do right now.

 

[ChooBoo]

Basically, the Iching didn't tell me anything about it... Thanks, though.

 

[Trojina]

Well the people who respond here aren't 'the I Ching' they/we, are just people seeing what we can see.

48.3.4>47 looks pretty good to me in terms of her having feelings for you. Generally I hesitate to say such things because I hesitate to 'mind read' what others think on the basis of a Yi cast, wouldn't want to raise false expectations and so on. However I think this bodes well.

47 as the relating hexagram seems to show she is in quite a dark, possibly even depressed frame of mind right now. Things that were wrong between you have to some extent been rectified (48.3) and this time now is a time of healing from what went before (48.4). So this doesn't look like anything immediate is going to happen. It looks like more time is needed to 'let the dust settle', and to rebuild a better foundation for the relationship.

48.3 says there is now cool water to drink from the well but it is a pity the king cannot see that. This makes me wonder if you need to tell her things have changed, or perhaps you have changed and you are ready to continue but in a new way ?

If this were my cast I think it would certainly take it as a good sign that the relationship may continue. To find out why not send her some kind of card/note/whatever perhaps saying you have corrected certain things in yourself....or that you think things might work out now. I don't know as I have no idea of the details but 48.3 says there is something good here but someone doesn't know there is....so I'm thinking maybe you have to show her ?

 

[ChooBoo]

Thanks, Trojina,

she's with someone else now, so it's hard to tell her anything. Any new interpretation in light of this new fact? Do you think I should take action?

Thanks

 

[Trojina]

I don't know, it depends on how serious their relationship is as to whether you feel you could contact her. It also depends on how it ended with her. You know all these things better than me.

Because people can get especially lost with relationship questions I'm linking to this


http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

...so if you do keep consulting Yi you know in advance the dangers that can crop up when asking of others feelings and so on....as witnessed here. From the cast I'd think she still had feelings for you but we need always to keep the facts in mind in such situations. She is with someone else so it may not be possible to connect with her at all.

I think if you want her back because you love her it's worth letting her know. But if that isn't feasible then you can't. Also she may be happy with the other person and still have feelings for you. Feelings, if genuine, don't actually just die and fade away because we tell them to. Don't people always leave a little bit of their hearts with exes ? She may have some feelings for you but still prefer to stay with him.

Anyway I think it is better to try to show her how you feel as even if she turns you away you know you tried. But as I say only you know if this is possible.

 

[altair139]

Thanks, Trojina,

she's with someone else now, so it's hard to tell her anything. Any new interpretation in light of this new fact? Do you think I should take action?

Thanks

No wonder the Yi was like telling you to not even bother about her feeling. If she has someone else already, why do you still care?
Based on my experience if she's already in another relationship she won't even care about your feelings anymore. If you attempt to contact her now you will only appear as weak and too emotionally dependent. Well also depends on how long it has been. When did you two break up?

 

[ChooBoo]

She left me in May and de were together for 9 years. Do you think the cast is not good? She left me for her former boyfriend, whom she left for me.

 

[Trojina]

I don't think anyone could look at 48.3.4>47 and conclude it was a 'bad' cast. From a plain human point of view if she was with you for 9 years it was a serious relationship and it is not possible that she would suddenly have absolutely no feelings for you. However she may still choose to be with him.

She left me for her former boyfriend, whom she left for me.

So she has been bouncing back and forth between the two of you. To my mind this makes it quite understandable you may think she may leave him for you. She's done it before after all so she may well do it again.

Yes I think she has feelings for you by looking at the cast but I don't know how that will translate into action and yes if you want to I think you might contact her. However I imagine you might want to keep some self respect and may find it humiliating ?


Altair, I'm taking the liberty of answering your points in your last post here

No wonder the Yi was like telling you to not even bother about her feeling. If she has someone else already, why do you still care?

Because he is not a robot. Humans do not switch off emotions like they would an electric light switch.
Also there is history which neither you nor I knew anything of. Knowing nothing of it perhaps it is better to stick to what the I Ching seems to be saying ?

Based on my experience if she's already in another relationship she won't even care about your feelings anymore. If you attempt to contact her now you will only appear as weak and too emotionally dependent. Well also depends on how long it has been. When did you two break up?

You don't know how she feels, neither do I apart from what the cast says. I agree contacting her may put him at a disadvantage and also give her the message she can go on taking her pick and so on.

ChooBoo if you read the lines for yourself you will have a better idea. 50.6 is a lovely line saying there is something precious here so whether she returns to you or not it does seem to me your relationship was/is something of value to her.

Perhaps you should ask a follow up question of 'what if I contact her ?'

 

[Trojina]

No wonder the Yi was like telling you to not even bother about her feeling

Where do you see that in the cast ? I can't see where in the cast you would see Yi telling him not to even bother thinking of it ?

 

[ChooBoo]

Can I post the cast here? I will cast the coins but I still don't know what to make of it.

 

[Trojina]

You already posted your cast here, it was 48.3.4>47...you mean can you post another cast here ? Yes you can post what casts you want. In the end it will still be your decision though.

 

[ChooBoo]

"What would happen if I contact my ex girlfriend?"

Here's my results for the follow-up question:

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

changing to
15 2
Hexagram 15, Integrity



Key Questions

What is the simple reality?
How might you return to a state of balance?
What if it didn’t all depend on you?

Oracle

‘Integrity creates success.
A noble one completes it.’

To experience Integrity is like coming face to face with your real self – plain, simple and unadorned. To have Integrity is to be whole, at one with yourself and with reality. It means being honest about your own capacities, holding yourself in creative balance with your world and not exaggerating the importance of your role.

These qualities enable the noble one to bring whatever work presents itself to completion. Since she is not overly full of herself, she has space for the real world; she isn’t hampered by an excess or by a lack of confidence. Since she isn’t caught up in a personal story, and doesn’t identify her work with her worth, she is free to do what needs to be done and move on.

Image

‘In the centre of the earth there is a mountain: Integrity.
A noble one reduces what is too much and increases what is diminished.
Weighing things up to even out their distribution.’

Sequence

Integrity follows from Hexagram 14, Great Possession:
‘Great possession means being incapable of arrogance, and so Integrity follows.’

Pair

Integrity forms a pair with Hexagram 16, Enthusiasm:
‘Integrity takes itself lightly; Enthusiasm is careless.’

Changing Lines

Line 3

‘Toiling with integrity,
A noble one completes it.
Good fortune.’


Hexagram 2, Earth



Key Questions

How are you being guided?
How can you lend your strength?

Oracle

‘Earth.
From the source, creating success.
The constancy of a mare bears fruit.
A noble one has a direction to go.
At first, confusion. Later, gains a master.
Fruitful in the southwest, gaining partners.
In the northeast, losing partners.
Peaceful constancy brings good fortune.’

Earth is first described in the same words as the Creative Force of Hexagram 1 because they are partners in the flow of creation. Creation unfolds from the original vital energy, creating success with an ongoing exchange between spirit and daily work, flowing through to fruition – in Earth, through the constancy of a mare.

The mare is strong, tireless and incomparably fast, and she is acutely sensitive to the subtlest cues. When you have a mare’s constancy, you will be steadily loyal to the truth, and always alert and responsive to guidance.

The noble one has a direction to go: she is purposeful, she has a destination in mind, but this doesn’t mean she has her route to it already mapped out. And so at first there is confusion: you set out like a pioneer, open to all the possibilities, and find them as many as scattered rice-grains. But later, since you have set yourself in motion, you can receive guidance – you ‘gain a master’.

A master is someone who lights the way. You gain someone or something to be loyal to, where you can find fulfilment in service. Once you have this guiding principle (which may or may not be a person), you begin to follow signs as fluently as the mare.

The Zhou people sought out allies in the southwest before venturing into the northeast to face the Shang. There is a balance to be found between joining with like-minded people and following your own calling alone – but gaining allies comes first. Perhaps your individual sense of purpose emerges more strongly when you’ve learned to work responsively with others, like the mare running with the herd.

And when you can spread your senses out to roam southwest and northeast without limit, you will be peacefully at home in the whole earth.

Image

‘Power of the land: Earth.
A noble one, with generous character, carries all the beings.’

 

[rosada]

A noble one completes it.

Reads to me like the I Ching is telling you it's over and the only reason for reaching out would be to get closer.
Which is not a bad thing. All this talk about appearing weak if you call doesn't do anything for me. I mean, she was your partner and friend for 9 years and now you're hurting, you need to heal and maybe that could happen if you two were to talk again - if only so you could hear it one more time that it truly is over.

 

[ChooBoo]

A noble one completes it.

Reads to me like the I Ching is telling you it's over and the only reason for reaching out would be to get closer.
Which is not a bad thing. All this talk about appearing weak if you call doesn't do anything for me. I mean, she was your partner and friend for 9 years and now you're hurting, you need to heal and maybe that could happen if you two were to talk again - if only so you could hear it one more time that it truly is over.

So there's no hope, then, according to what the cast says... thanks, though.

 

[Trojina]

Reads to me like the I Ching is telling you it's over and the only reason for reaching out would be to get closer.

Where do you see that in 15.2 ?


I think 15.2 shows that if you contacted her this would a genuine authentic thing to do hence it is worth doing. When it says 'a noble one completes it', it doesn't mean 'this is over' it means completing the task in hand.

As you have told us she has gone back and forth before so it's not wholly unreasonable to think she may again. There is nothing in these readings that says 'it's over'. I mean the facts do seem to say that yes but I don't know how anyone can say the readings are saying it's over.

Anyway I think 15.2 favours communicating with her because it is a genuine action you feel called to do. It isn't promising any particular outcome but it does favour trying IMO.

So there's no hope, then, according to what the cast says... thanks, though.

No it definitely doesn't say that. You can't believe what everyone says here including me...please use your own judgement. 15.2 cannot possibly say 'there is no hope' so just because one person here interprets it that way it doesn't mean it's true.

Look at the I Ching for yourself and see how the words strike you rather than believe what people say


The cast actually says ..I quote from Hilary's book

'The call of integrity,
Constancy, good fortune.'

That is what the cast says That is what the I Ching says. If someone chooses to interpret that as 'there is no hope' that's just what they think, nothing more.

 

[ChooBoo]

I got these results when I asked whether she missed me:


Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

changing to
54 43
Hexagram 54, the Marrying Maiden



Key Questions

How can you grow into this situation?
What does it mean to you to come second?
How sustainable is this?

Oracle

‘The marrying maiden. To set out to bring order: pitfall.
No direction is fruitful.’

A young girl, not yet a woman, comes home to her new husband’s house. A nobleman of old China would marry his ‘first wife’ with great ceremony. She would go to her new home accompanied by a group of female relatives who became ‘second wives’. These are the ‘marrying maidens’: they are present simply to make relationships easier and have no status of their own. As a marrying maiden, you have accepted a relationship where you come second. You are only here to play a supporting role; it would be disastrous to try to shape the situation to fit your own needs. You are too junior, not yet ready to exert influence; there is no point in your setting intentions or making plans. All you can do is to feel your way, adapt, and find your place, without originating any action or having any agenda of your own.

Image

‘Above the lake, there is thunder: the Marrying Maiden.
A noble one through ever-flowing endings
Knows what wears out.’

Sequence

The Marrying Maiden follows from Hexagram 53, Gradual Progress:
‘Making progress must mean a time to come home, and so the Marrying Maiden follows.’

Changing Lines

Line 3

‘Marrying maiden waiting,
Turns it round and marries as second wife.’

Line 5

‘King Yi marries off the maidens.
The first wife’s sleeves are not as fine as the younger sister’s.
The moon almost full, good fortune.’


Hexagram 43, Deciding



Key Questions

What do you stand for?
How do you define yourself?
What belongs in your realm, and where do you need to make a clean break?

Oracle

‘Deciding, tell it in the king’s chambers.
With truth, call out, there is danger.
Notify your own city.
Fruitless to take up arms;
Fruitful to have a direction to go.’

The old Chinese character for ‘Deciding’ shows a hand holding up a token – asserting your identity and right to be heard, even in the king’s chambers. This is where decision begins, at the very centre of power. That centre might be inside your own mind, and yet still not feel safe. Declaring the truth loud and clear is dangerous; it stirs up old ghosts, inner and outer. Yet better this than ignoring and neglecting them.

As the message of the decision spreads out from the centre, it is fruitless to take up arms: this is a time to communicate, not fight. It will serve you better to focus with clear intention on what you’re moving towards, rather than what you’re reacting against.

Image

‘Lake above heaven: Deciding.
A noble one distributes riches to reach those below,
She dwells in power and virtue, and also shuns things.’

Sequence

Deciding follows from Hexagram 42, Increasing:
‘Increasing and not reaching an end must mean breakthrough, and so Deciding follows. Deciding means breaking through.’

Pair

Deciding forms a pair with Hexagram 44, Coupling:
‘Coupling means meeting, supple meets firm.’
‘Deciding means breaking up, firm breaks up supple.’

 

[rosada]

Trojina,

I think you misread his answer. He received 15.3, not 15.2.

15.3 says "The noble one completes it" and then the hexagram changes to hex.2 The Receptive uc which in my experience often means the energies are quiet, nothing more to manifest.

 

[Trojina]

Trojina,

I think you misread his answer. He received 15.3, not 15.2.

15.3 says "The noble one completes it" and then the hexagram changes to hex.2 The Receptive uc which in my experience often means the energies are quiet, nothing more to manifest.

15.3 is a line of toil, of doing what needs to be done, not a line of endings. Yes I should have written 15.3 not 15.2 but there is no way I can see that 15.3 either can be interpreted as the I Ching just saying 'it's over'.
However we have to take note of the reality in 15, take into account how things are. Getting 15.3 suggests to me the person is quite in touch with the realities and so can act.

 

[ChooBoo]

Can you give me an interpretation for the last prediction? Trojina, do you mean that I should take action?

 

[Trojina]

It's up to you, the I Ching can't take place of your choice. I already gave you my thoughts about it above.

I put the link on relationship questions because one thing you don't want to get into is asking a lot of questions about she feels. No one knows for sure how she feels except her so if you really want to know you have to talk to her.

I got these results when I asked whether she missed me:


Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

changing to
54 43
Hexagram 54, the Marrying Maiden

So this should be written as 54.3.5>43. I think I already answered this question when you first asked it. I can't really say it any clearer than that....I'd be repeating myself. Yi is not really there as a mind reader so really you need to keep your questions about you not her because it is hard to know how to take the answers. Like I said earlier neither I or anyone else actually knows how she feels. Your first answer here suggested to me she did have some feelings left for you but I didn't know how that might translate into action. I don't really know how to apply this answer as I think it's applying to you but don't know.


There is no point asking more questions about how she feels. Either decide to talk to her or decide not to. 43 is about deciding. 54.5 often indicates those in the lowlier position win out in the end. If you are the one in the lowlier position then it bodes well.

This boils down to you deciding whether to approach her or not. Your answers favour approaching her IMO. Others disagree so it's up to you. Do you think she will be annoyed if you approach her ? I don't know....you have to gauge what to do based on your knowledge of her reactions.

 

[ChooBoo]

Thanks a lot, Trojina. I won't ask more questions about how she feels. I guess she's perfectly fine because she hasn't approached me.

It's up to you, the I Ching can't take place of your choice. I already gave you my thoughts about it above.

I put the link on relationship questions because one thing you don't want to get into is asking a lot of questions about she feels. No one knows for sure how she feels except her so if you really want to know you have to talk to her.



So this should be written as 54.3.5>43. I think I already answered this question when you first asked it. I can't really say it any clearer than that....I'd be repeating myself. Yi is not really there as a mind reader so really you need to keep your questions about you not her because it is hard to know how to take the answers. Like I said earlier neither I or anyone else actually knows how she feels. Your first answer here suggested to me she did have some feelings left for you but I didn't know how that might translate into action. I don't really know how to apply this answer as I think it's applying to you but don't know.


There is no point asking more questions about how she feels. Either decide to talk to her or decide not to. 43 is about deciding. 54.5 often indicates those in the lowlier position win out in the end. If you are the one in the lowlier position then it bodes well.

This boils down to you deciding whether to approach her or not. Your answers favour approaching her IMO. Others disagree so it's up to you. Do you think she will be annoyed if you approach her ? I don't know....you have to gauge what to do based on your knowledge of her reactions.

 

[rosada]

Going back to 15.3 > 2 for a minute.

Considering Trojina's point that 15.3 is not necessarily a line of endings but rather one that encourages being realistic and therefore taking action. I want to clarify my thought process. First I took into consideration that 15.3 leads to 2.Receptive. Hex 2 suggests to me a blank slate. As the resulting hexagram it suggests to me that what ever the intention was, the result is a blank. So I saw that as meaning if his intention in reconnecting with his ex was anything more than trying ("toiling"?) to bring things to a healthy closer for him, then I felt 2. indicates the conversation would not result in a rebirth of their romance. HOWEVER, if one does not interpret hex. 2 as a sign of nothing happening but rather just see it as a sign that the seeker should not be overly pushy, not try to overwhelm the other but instead to speak their truth modestly, briefly, humbly and then 2.Keep Quiet and Listen/ Be Receptive then perhaps the I Ching is giving guidance as to how to have a successful meet up.

 

[altair139]

Where do you see that in the cast ? I can't see where in the cast you would see Yi telling him not to even bother thinking of it ?

not exactly not bothered about it but more like moving on with life. In order to do that he should cast away the past.
that was in line 4, "fixing the well" and move on

I don't think anyone could look at 50.2.3.6>16 and conclude it was a 'bad' cast.

by the way isn't this a cast from another topic?

Anyway, trojina, I think you should not raise his hope up, all of his subsequent lines look bad to me, especially 15.3 > 2 and 54 > 43, it's all about moving on....

I'm going deeper into the lines now:

"What would happen if I contact my girlfriend"
15.3 > 2
Line 3 is noted down as a special line in social contact. "He who works hard will be recognized but should not ask for rewards" (due to the main hexagram - humility, so he should be humble and do not ask for reward). In this context, he can contact his girlfriend but he should not ask for love. Of course nobody can stop him from contacting her, and once he does, the situation will fit with hexagram 2 - submission. He has to submit to the situation and he's no longer the one who can change the situation around. He no longer has the power to make her feeling change for the better. Thus it's best to stay low, no result can be achieved unless you want disappointment.

"Whether her gf misses him"
54.3.5 > 43.
First of all, 54 is a generally bad hexagram for love. 43 is usually about a break up. But that's just a general thing, now deeper into the lines:
line 3 "He marries a concubine"... Well the concubine here could be him. He's now a second option, or worse, he might have always been... Based on your story I suspect you were a fling to her, ChooBoo. Hope that I'm wrong though
Line 4: "She does not throw her virtue away but wait. Her marriages come in due time"... Even if she does she won't contact him. This could even mean that he should not bother about this broken relationship anymore, and another person would venture into his life eventually and this wound will be healed.
Hex 43 is about breaking away from something, it could be his gf finally got over him, or he got over her.

P.s: ChooBoo, I was in your shoes a few months ago so I understand what exactly you're feeling. Disappointment, loss, grief, maybe even anger, this will soon pass. Clinging on false hopes is really deadly, luckily my Iching teacher pulled me out with his constant reassurance that my ex would not come back anymore. Sometimes a slap wakes you hard, and painfully but timely.

 

[Trojina]

. I want to clarify my thought process. First I took into consideration that 15.3 leads to 2.Receptive. Hex 2 suggests to me a blank slate. As the resulting hexagram it suggests to me that what ever the intention was, the result is a blank. So I saw that as meaning if his intention in reconnecting with his ex was anything more than trying ("toiling"?) to bring things to a healthy closer for him, then I felt 2. indicates the conversation would not result in a rebirth of their romance. HOWEVER, if one does not interpret hex. 2 as a sign of nothing happening but rather just see it as a sign that the seeker should not be overly pushy, not try to overwhelm the other but instead to speak their truth modestly, briefly, humbly and then 2.Keep Quiet and Listen/ Be Receptive then perhaps the I Ching is giving guidance as to how to have a successful meet up

I see what you mean Rosada but surely hexagram 2 as relating hexagram cannot always mean a blank. I do often find hex 2 as relating to mean the topic of the primary hexagram disappears into earth as if it never were, so yes I sort of agree with your sense of it in that regard. But with one line moving that line takes precedence. Also you are seeing 2 as the result and I don't share that view. I see 15.3 as a very active line, the task is accomplished with the capacity of the mare. Hexagram 2 is also service, being of service. In 15.3 one does one's service to something.

 

[Trojina]

not exactly not bothered about it but more like moving on with life. In order to do that he should cast away the past.
that was in line 4, "fixing the well" and move on


by the way isn't this a cast from another topic?

Oh yes ...it was a cast from another thread....got mixed up. The cast was 48.3.4>47... But 48.4 does not mean 'move on' it means while things are under repair one cannot use them. So something is being mended here. It does not say 'move on'.

Anyway, trojina, I think you should not raise his hope up, all of his subsequent lines look bad to me, especially 15.3 > 2 and 54 > 43, it's all about moving on....

I was careful to caution him not just to place hopes blindly, I made it clear I did not want to promise false hope. How can 15.3 be 'bad' really ? It isn't all about moving on at all. What about 54.5.

I'm going deeper into the lines now:

"What would happen if I contact my girlfriend"
15.3 > 2
Line 3 is noted down as a special line in social contact. "He who works hard will be recognized but should not ask for rewards" (due to the main hexagram - humility, so he should be humble and do not ask for reward). In this context, he can contact his girlfriend but he should not ask for love. Of course nobody can stop him from contacting her, and once he does, the situation will fit with hexagram 2 - submission. He has to submit to the situation and he's no longer the one who can change the situation around. He no longer has the power to make her feeling change for the better. Thus it's best to stay low, no result can be achieved unless you want disappointment.

well you're entitled to your opinion but really I think when you say 'no result can be achieved unless you want disappointment' that is about as far from the meaning of 15.3 as it is possible to get. He may indeed be disappointed but the line is not discouraging him from trying. I think you are going by someone's commentary not by what the line actually says.

"Whether her gf misses him"
54.3.5 > 43.
First of all, 54 is a generally bad hexagram for love. 43 is usually about a break up. But that's just a general thing, now deeper into the lines:
line 3 "He marries a concubine"... Well the concubine here could be him. He's now a second option, or worse, he might have always been... Based on your story I suspect you were a fling to her, ChooBoo. Hope that I'm wrong though
Line 4: "She does not throw her virtue away but wait. Her marriages come in due time"... Even if she does she won't contact him. This could even mean that he should not bother about this broken relationship anymore, and another person would venture into his life eventually and this wound will be healed.

He didn't get 54.4 he got 54.5. If he had cast 54.4 he would not have 43 as relating hexagram.

You say she was a fling ? How many 'flings' are 9 years long ! he said himself they were together for 9 years. Did you not see that ? Let me find it for you ....here we are

She left me in May and de were together for 9 years. Do you think the cast is not good? She left me for her former boyfriend, whom she left for me.

Funny kind of 'fling' to last 9 years

Hex 43 is about breaking away from something, it could be his gf finally got over him, or he got over her.

Hexagram 43 is about far more than that. it's about making decisions, asserting who you are.

 

[Trojina]

Oh and for clarity yes I got totally off track in the middle of the thread and started going on about a cast from another thread. I've edited that now. It makes no difference as I still think 48.3.4>47 is not a 'bad' cast for the question of if someone still has feelings for him.

 

[altair139]

Yes. He just asked about his ex's relationship with the new guy and got the same answer. 48.4 does not mean 'move on' it means while things are under repair one cannot use them. So something is being mended here. It does not say 'move on'.

For me it's the same process, "fixing the well" and "moving on". By fixing the relationship wound, it means he should put the past behind and concentrate on his life a bit more, isn't it already called "moving on"?

well you're entitled to your opinion but really I think when you say 'no result can be achieved unless you want disappointment' that is about as far from the meaning of 15.3 as it is possible to get. He may indeed be disappointed but the line is not discouraging him from trying. I think you are going by someone's commentary not by what the line actually says.

He can try but there's most likely no result. That's why I said "nobody can stop him from trying, and once he does, hexagram 2 will come in the picture". The line isn't discouraging, yes. It's my opinion, i think i should separate them a bit in the future.
All of us has to follow someone's translation and commentary on the lines. Different iching researchers have their own commentary and translation, following someone's commentary is unavoidable.

You say she was a fling ? How many 'flings' are 9 years long ! he said himself they were together for 9 years. Did you not see that ? Let me find it for you ....here we are

It's not impossible, there are cases where flings become real partners, but only till a breaking point. The important thing is within these 9 years did she have her whole heart for him? Did she still talk to her ex/current bf?

Hexagram 43 is about far more than that. it's about making decisions, asserting who you are.

Strictly speaking, hexagram 43 is about determination, but determination to get rid of something (bad habit, bad alliance, bad situation, bad people/criminals). It's the opposite of hexagram 44 (inverted 44, kou which means coming close), thus this means breaking away. Making decision, yes but make decision to get over something is usually the case, I never heard about asserting yourself though.

He didn't get 54.4 he got 54.5. If he had cast 54.4 he would not have 43 as relating hexagram.

aye my bad -_-, always looked at the diagram wrongly....
Anyway line 5: "The sleeve of her husband is no better than that of her concubine" - I guess this might talk about how his gf will realize that her current bf is not that much better than him. She's someone who easily wavers so I guess she will miss him, but I dont think she will make contacts. I need more background information to make further speculations (background of chooboo and his gf, how they lived during those 9 years)
But a relationship that can last 9 years without any commitment (marriage)? Quite strange to me to be honest.

 

[ChooBoo]

For me it's the same process, "fixing the well" and "moving on". By fixing the relationship wound, it means he should put the past behind and concentrate on his life a bit more, isn't it already called "moving on"?


He can try but there's most likely no result. That's why I said "nobody can stop him from trying, and once he does, hexagram 2 will come in the picture". The line isn't discouraging, yes. It's my opinion, i think i should separate them a bit in the future.
All of us has to follow someone's translation and commentary on the lines. Different iching researchers have their own commentary and translation, following someone's commentary is unavoidable.


It's not impossible, there are cases where flings become real partners, but only till a breaking point. The important thing is within these 9 years did she have her whole heart for him? Did she still talk to her ex/current bf?


Strictly speaking, hexagram 43 is about determination, but determination to get rid of something (bad habit, bad alliance, bad situation, bad people/criminals). It's the opposite of hexagram 44 (inverted 44, kou which means coming close), thus this means breaking away. Making decision, yes but make decision to get over something is usually the case, I never heard about asserting yourself though.


aye my bad -_-, always looked at the diagram wrongly....
Anyway line 5: "The sleeve of her husband is no better than that of her concubine" - I guess this might talk about how his gf will realize that her current bf is not that much better than him. She's someone who easily wavers so I guess she will miss him, but I dont think she will make contacts. I need more background information to make further speculations (background of chooboo and his gf, how they lived during those 9 years)
But a relationship that can last 9 years without any commitment (marriage)? Quite strange to me to be honest.

We were going to marry last November and she said she wanted children. Anyway, you think I shouldn't be optimistic, right?

 

[altair139]

We were going to marry last November and she said she wanted children. Anyway, you think I shouldn't be optimistic, right?

Were you engaged? What happened then?

Well I can't say that you shouldn't be optimistic, but just dont be too hopeful getting her back. Love takes 2 hands to clap. She left you, I dont think you should bother chasing. It's better if we know about her reason for leaving you, then the picture will be clearer.