What do I need to know about our behavior?

[lightafterdarkness]

Hi everyone,

This is about a past relationship I'm healing from, it was lots of toxicity. I kind of lost my sense of self and been trying to use the I Ching as well as picking up my daily life and building a new foundation. I also reflect on my own behavior and gain more insight so I can learn, move on and heal and grow. I ignored my intuition because I thought it was fear speaking. I think 27.1>23 speaks of that as well as codependency?

I've been asking about the way someone has acted towards me which resulted to 52.3 > 23

And my own behavior

27.1 > 23

I thought it was super interesting that both end in 23

Would love some insights Thank you

 

[Hans_K]

I thought it was super interesting that both end in 23

This is certainly interesting because H23 is about disintegration, stripping away or falling apart. In H23, there is no escape, it is part of the natural process of change, hence this hexagram is also indirectly about letting go of control.

I've been asking about the way someone has acted towards me which resulted to 52.3 > 23

H52 is double trigram Mountain, Keeping Still.
When it comes to relationships, trigram Mountain is someone who cannot express his/her feelings very easily, it is very closed off and inward focused, which means there is no real contact with the outside world. It all remains very superficial. In H52, you see 2 people of this type.
One of you seems to have had enough of this because the lower trigram Mountain changes to Earth. The mountain collapses, so to speak, all boundaries etc are given up/broken down.

I kind of lost my sense of self

Trigram Mountain is also about the self, so with the moving line in the 3rd position, this refers to the above: losing the sense of self. The "boundary" that makes there is a sense of self , disappears and as a result, the whole relationship collapses.
So it seems as if the lack of real contact with the other person led to the end of the relationship. I know this may sound strange, but somehow you can count yourself lucky that this situation took place.
The upper trigram (the other) remains the same, the lower trigram, however, changes to Earth. Here new things can be "sown", Earth supports and nurtures new beginnings.

And my own behavior

27.1 > 23

H27 is about nourishment, that which you take in on all levels.
H27 is Mountain over Thunder, representing the natural cycle of spring (Thunder) to winter (Mountain).
What you sow you will reap and you have to wait for the new cycle to possibly sow something else if the earlier harvest was not to your liking.
The text of the 1st line talks about a sacred tortoise that you let go and then look surprised at someone else. The shield of the turtle was used for divination in ancient China, to contact the gods and ancestors.
So this line seems to say that you probably knew somewhere intuitively that this relationship would never work out, but you went into it anyway. Does this resonate?
So you can see the answer as Splitting apart (H23) due to improper mental/emotional feeding (H27.1)

This would be my interpretation. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest