What do I need to know about X - Hex 44.1 to 1

[dancingfox]

I have been working together with someone from my class but the collaboration isn't always as smooth as I'd expect it to be. We get a lot of group assignments and I thought at first I found someone I could work with on a regular basis. Most people from my class already found their partners and I am not looking forward to finding someone else again. It's not a class I feel much at home in socially.

She has a strong personality but that's what I first appreciated about her. At first she comes across as a confident person but she has a tendency to downplay other peoples qualities while boasting about her own. I suspect she is hiding her own insecurity behind a big mouth. None of this should matter as long as we work together well but this hasn't been the case the last few months.

I'd like to keep collaborating despite the recent tension, since I don't see any other options. So what do I need to know about this person?
Hex 44.1 to 1

44: Coming to meet a powerful maiden.

Line 1:
"If an inferior element has wormed its way in, it must be energetically checked
at once."
"It must be checked with a brake of bronze."

1: The creative

I should adress the tension in firm yet diplomatic way?

Any thoughts? :bows:

 

[Windrell]

Hello dancingfox!
NO DIPLOMATIC WAY!!
She appears as a leader, hex 1, but she actually is such an inferior element that you MUST stop working with her!
As simply as that. Draw your sword!

 

[butterfly spider]

Drawing your sword might be a bit drastic. But I agree, hex 44 is not for the faint hearted.

 

[dancingfox]

Any ideas on how to proceed? "It must be checked with a brake of bronze" what does that mean?

 

[ginnie]

It means for you to stop seeing her. She is actually dangerous and will end up humiliating you if you don't stop working with her.

 

[dancingfox]

I will heed this warning. I am still figuring out how I can distance myself from her and finding another partner without creating a fuss. If she indeed tries to harm me in some way at least it won 't be by surprise. I suspect she will use gossip to hurt or humiliate. It is what vexed me about her in the first place, I should have listened to my intuition sooner. Oh well, better late then never.

Thanks for the insights!

 

[rodaki]

Any ideas on how to proceed? "It must be checked with a brake of bronze" what does that mean?

it might help you if you look around in the site for discussions about this . . bronze is not the most valuable metal, not the 'toughest' either . . it's more malleable but still a metal. It might help you also to consider how the trigram wind and its connotations operate here - 44 conjures very dramatic responses but if there's no escaping it, I find that its 'remedy', so to speak, has to do with more subtle, pliable types of behaviour . . 'older sisters' probably knew how to persuade not thru force but thru gentler means (just a couple things to ponder here)

 

[dancingfox]

- 44 conjures very dramatic responses but if there's no escaping it, I find that its 'remedy', so to speak, has to do with more subtle, pliable types of behavior . . 'older sisters' probably knew how to persuade not thru force but thru gentler means (just a couple things to ponder here)

I agree Rodaki. I am in a situation where I can't just 'hit the brakes' and stop seeing her, there would almost certainly follow a dramatic response. Working together is one of the key skills we have to attain when we graduate, that's the reason behind all the group assignments. We are a small class, only 16 students and we are in our final year. Most students already formed their little alliances so if I want to change anything I should go as subtle as possible about it.

I have started taking my distance in the smallest possible ways. We still work together but I have stopped being to open about my personal life. We don't hang out after school for coffee or lunch anymore, I excused myself by telling her that I am very busy with family business. She has a habit of constantly calling me on chat, texting me even in school vacations. I used to feel hard pressed to react immediately since she was so pushy. I started reacting once a day in stead of seven times a day. Now I try reacting to her messages as much as possible when I see her face to face, unless it's about a deadline or something. At school I remain my old jovial, friendly self with her. Last week we got another group assignment, I am still doing it with her but I took care to involve some other folks I like as well.

I hope all these little things will start shifting the balance towards a more sustainable collaboration.

 

[rodaki]

hey dancingfox, good to know you're finding your way around this one, 44s can be rather tricky . .
do come back and let us know how it all worked out,
cheers!

 

[dancingfox]

Hey Rodaki

Not sure if my tactics are working. There are still group assignments involving her of which I can't get around. Working together has become a tiring, weary thing She likes to boast about her grades and capacities, but I have found that when we work together my grades go down quite a bit. I am making sure we will not be working together anymore for future group assignments.

She has proved to be a very negative influence, the inferior element in 44 has become apparent through (as expected) gossip and attempts towards humiliation. I am not sure if I can free myself of her influence completely without the dramatic responses that are inherent to 44. I am sure she knows I am trying to get rid of her and it doesn't help with the assignments we still have to do together in group.

How will the situation between me and D evolve? Hex 27.6 to 24
Seems to be telling me to return the focus of my thinking on my ultimate goal: getting me degree. Stop 'feeding' this situation with my fears/ negative thoughts and seek better nourishment instead. Maybe I am creating my own difficulties by letting her get the better of me. If she is indeed a negative influence it is because I have allowed her to become one. If can stop her from draining me by allowing my energy to go inward instead of outward.

 

[Windrell]

Hey Dancingfox, WHY are you afraid of the "dramatic responses that are inherent to hex 44"??
To "seek better nourishment" means seek other partnership, there always are more options!
We may be asking questions trying to manipulate IChing to tell us what we like to hear....
You can't stop her from draining you because THAT'S HER CHOICE!
You "are creating your own difficulties" by insisting to cooperate with a known enemy, HOPING for a magical good end!

 

[thisismybody]

First impression, despite this being a late response, 44.1 means she gets off to getting your goat.

 

[dancingfox]

Hey Windrell,

I don't want any dramatic responses because I've had enough drama in my life as it is recently. IMHO there are always other options then creating a big fuss. Tomorrow will be the last day we work together in any group assignment. I have made my point about future collaboration clear in a subtle way, she won't be bothering me again. I made sure that I can work with other classmates in the future. They've had a similar experience with her so she will not be part of this group. The last two weeks haven't been easy but the end is near.

I never insisted on working with her, in our small class we cannot just end a group assignment, we have to stick it out with the people we work with until the very end. By focusing on my ultimate goal (getting my degree) and ignoring her ill behavior I was able to let go of the tension I felt rising in me. I wasn't hoping for a good end, I have created my good ending by not allowing her behavior to get the best of me and look for a better , more subtle solution.