What information will bring peace about this situation? 5.1 > 48

[farrenmarie]

Hello all!

I've just returned from a wonderful week long stay in Paris, where I got to do all of my favorite things and had a divine, joyful, whirlwind time.

I have been home for about 3 days and a failed romantic situation is already eroding the positivity and joy I brought home. I am trying to leave behind a man who does not want me, and he has been sending increasingly hostile smoke signals he knows I will see. There is also a woman in the picture who is probably involved with him; she and I have been on historically friendly terms. Upon returning I decided to obey a strong instinct I had to block them both on social media; I don't need to see what he is doing and she does not need to see what I am doing. Everyone should mind their own business.

Nevertheless I feel full of dread, dragging, heavy hearted. I asked the IC to share "What information will bring me peace about this situation?" and received hex 5.1 > 48 which I might summarize as "waiting in a nourishing posture."

However I feel this changing line describes waiting for an oncoming battle or adversarial exchange, which feels like a warning and does not bring me peace. I would consider direct confrontation to be a poor outcome.

Do folks agree with this interpretation, is it missing nuance? How does the changing line of a far off battle (5.1) change into The Well?

Thank you for your help!

 

[Serendiplomat]

I'm not sure what's the "correct" way to see the second hexagram after one or more several changing lines, but I've always found it works better if you take it as a backdrop, or a shading that overlays your situation, rather than a mechanistic explanation of how things are likely to work out. Rather than predict the future, in this case it's almost as if 48 the Well, captures the recent past: you in Paris, getting many of your needs met, without this man. Then you come back here, and the Well, the divine joy seems so far away from you. But you're still the strong happy woman who enjoyed herself in Paris.

5 is about waiting for things we simply can't control, other people's feelings and actions included—and some autonomous (unconscious) parts of yourself perhaps also included. Maybe Peggy Jones's interpretation of 5.1 here is apposite:

"Sometimes we are ready to play our part in a process or undertaking that requires the participation of others, but they are not ready and we must wait. We may be able to exert a gentle influence on them, but we cannot force the pace of development. This is true for the situation where the "others" are different parts of oneself as it is if they are actually other people."

Relating to your strong instinct to block them, who knows if it's "right." I like Jim DeKorne's take here:

"As yet the danger has not crossed this line, and we are advised not to go forth to meet it. Neither should we abandon our position, but just quietly allow the situation to unfold and define itself. Sit tight and let the situation to unfold."

Perhaps your blocking represents NOT sitting tight, but an impulsive move to protect yourself. You feel threatened by the uncertainty. But line 1 shows you in a strong position, far from danger: the danger, perhaps of getting drawn back into a hot-and-cold unhealthy quasi-relationship. But you just don't know. Line 1 of Hexagram 5 has the name of hexagram 32, duration or persevering, in it, and that is maybe the best attitude to adopt: just keep on keeping on, holding on to your values.

Ultimately, even if you decide you want him and he decides he does want you, and the other woman's out of the picture, the best you that could show up for that eventuality would be the happy Self-centered (grounded) woman who enjoyed her trip to Paris, rather than the anxious one wondering if she's about to be attacked. God knows I've needed to block certain people at certain times! But if you block them at this point, could that be like "going forth to meet" the danger, like abandoning your secure position? Could blocking represent you trying to stiffle your own hopes for possibilities for future development? The uncertainty as to what you really want is painful, but so is waiting for rain while the land is parched. Meanwhile, you've got a well to draw from.

My take on 5.1 in your situation, for what it's worth, is that sitting tight, and showing no signs of particularly caring about smoke signals one way or the other, and enduring your own uncertainty, and focusing on somehow keeping that Paris feeling going in your heart, would be the best way to outwait the Waiting period. In that light, whether you block him or both or not is less important than you realizing you hold the strong position here, because rather than smoke signals, you've got access to clear refreshing water of real humans needs being met, perhaps with real friends in real life, rather than surface illusions on social media. Whether it rains or not, you'll always have Paris in your heart: the ability to meet your own needs at least part-way. Patience is the key, a position you might find easier to endure by tapping into your sense of wonder, an ability to enjoy and marvel at life, that you didn't leave behind when you got on the plane to fly home.

 

[ontheroad]

Just wait until things settle down