What is he feeling? 50.2.4>52

[elizabeth]

Im not sure if this question is appropriate for the Yi, but I asked "what is he feeling" after some strange (and very concerning) beheavior by my boyfriend. I received 50.2.4>52 and found a useful evaluation of the same hex pair by rosada here:

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=8882

I am wondering if the same definitions apply in this case. THe background is that we had a disagreement and then he stepped away in silence. When he came forth again, he said he isnt sure I can be happy with him. I think just now some of our big issues are dawning on him but I have a lot of faith in us and really want things to work out. IF the previous evaluation is correct then,


50.2 He/She genuinely cares. But issues about us being suitable as a couple. he has his doubts (as does society at large).

50.4 The legs of the cauldron are broken.
"Again a feeling of not being supported. As if [he was/I was] hoping for more from this relationship than what was/is possible."

52. The superior man does not allow his thoughts to go beyond his situation.

Except in this case, he is definitely thinking and churning over all this to the point he has pulled back. I am flying to see him, half across the globe, in just 2 weeks. And I'm very...worried at this point. Curious if this reading is valid or if I should chuck it and ask something about what i should/can do instead of what he's feeling -- but really I feel i cant do anything til i get there.

 

[ginnie]

He is being cautious, as he feels you have let him down. You are being cautions, since doubts have arisen.

I think all relationships will get 50.4 sooner or later, because we are all flawed human beings, and sooner or later our flaws and faults will be apparent to others. But that is hardly ever the end of the story.

 

[elizabeth]

Hi Ginnie,
Thanks for replying. Or I think maybe he's having doubts/being cautious because He feels he has let me down, or even both.... He said as much that he thinks I "wont be happy" with him. I thought that was a huge extrapolation to make over an incident with one SMS!!!

I hope you're right and that it isn't the end of the story. I truly hope so. We haven't had this "part" of the relationship yet, the "should we continue" question, so it's really unsettling to me. I expect him to just walk away and yet given the circumstances (we're just 2 weeks from seeing ea other) it seems not the most logical thing to throw it away right before getting to see each other.

 

[meganj]

When the Cauldren spills over stopping progress is not always a bad thing. It's like getting rid of the old so there's room for the new.
Think of it like a big pot of stew.. if it tips over and spills, you can either A- just give up, or B- start all over again.
Ive gotten this a few times in my relationship when there was a huge explosion that caused us to rethink the whole relationship.. It all depends on what you're willing to put back into it if you want to make it work.

 

[elizabeth]

Hi MeganJ,

Actually that is a great image, very helpful.

I guess the question is if one person wants to keep cooking and the other one wants to dump out the pot and eat leftovers in the fridge out of laziness, ...then you have a problem.

 

[meganj]

yes
But starting over again means adding the right stuff in so that it turns out delicious and something to be proud of. It won't be easy though cuz you gotta start from scratch again... Make sure you put just enough seasoning, vegetables, meat... (im getting hungry lol).
This calls for a new start.. talk about all those things that bother both of you and start making your compromisations if you want this to work.. be completely honest with yourselves. If you're gonna start over you have to be or else it'll just start deteriorating again. Same pattern. Pot spilt over.

 

[elizabeth]

This is my new approach. And I'm gonna be building the greatest meal that was ever served!

It's good advice -- and so true. If you don't change the recipe and work through what didn't work last time, you just repeat the mistakes and have another failed "meal"...

Yeah okay time for dinner now

 

[meganj]

Lol i like ur attitude
my positive thoughts and wishes this turns out well are directed your way

 

[ginnie]

He said as much that he thinks I "wont be happy" with him. ... I expect him to just walk away and yet given the circumstances (we're just 2 weeks from seeing ea other) it seems not the most logical thing to throw it away right before getting to see each other.

Because of the timing, I have to say it looks like a case of "cold feet."

With line 50.4, line 4 expects things of line 1 that line 1, the lowly feet, find it difficult or impossible to fulfill.

Maybe there is some way you might bolster his flagging courage?

Will you be seeing each other in person for the first time? That would certainly be cause for anxiety.