What should I do to get out of this mess I'm in? 31>53

[kafuka]

Hello everyone,
I'm rather new to I Ching and would much appreciate any feedback.

OK, so something happened that's made me to question my sexual orientation. I realized that in general I wouldn't have so much a problem with the possibility being lesbian than with the fact that I don't know where am I standing right now.
I'm a person who hates not knowing things and this uncertainty, I mean if I actually am or I am not gay makes me messed up. The truth is I'd like to clear things out already so I could be fair to people I care about and to myself. Instead I feel like being in a deep forest without a map and it's very hard for me to decide where to go. I'm also in a relationship with a guy which doesn't make my decisions any easier.

I asked: What should I do to get out of this mess I'm in? >>> 31.4.6. > 53
I think the Yi is telling me that I should let myself to be taught from inside and try to understand my intuition (31.4);
and start acting rather than talking too much (31.6). - should I act upon my desire for the same sex?
I also found that this line might be warning me “You may even trick yourself into believing you are something you aren't.”. - does it mean I could be only deluding myself?
I should be clear in my vision, have unyielding determination, and the patience to see all matters to the end (53). - will the progress be slow?

Because of the “tricking yourself” explanation I asked:
Am I gay? >>> 61 unchanging
I do think that it means “Hey, relax, you already know the truth, trust your guts!”

Unfortunately I'm in the situation when I have nobody to speak about it with. I was thinking that finding some friends might help me to gain some perspective so I asked:
What should I do to find some gay friends? >>> 35 unchanging
I read that 35 is a good hexagram for finding things so could be positive for finding friends as well but what should I do? I don't live exactly in an area where is easy to meet gay people, I think.
Thank you for your kind help.:bows:

 

[Trojina]

My quick...sort of first thought responses are to

I'm a person who hates not knowing things and this uncertainty, I mean if I actually am or I am not gay makes me messed up. The truth is I'd like to clear things out already so I could be fair to people I care about and to myself. Instead I feel like being in a deep forest without a map and it's very hard for me to decide where to go. I'm also in a relationship with a guy which doesn't make my decisions any easier.

31.4.6>53. There really is no rush here to define what you are (hex 53)....it's all inner chatter (31.6) You say you want this uncertainty all cleared up as if your sexuality should really sort itself out to it can be clearly labelled and filed away so that others know what they are dealing with. This has a funny side. Do we need Woody Allen here ? Our sexuality isn't like that is it ? It does what it wants. 31.4 here though does show that others will indeed be looking to follow your inclination if they knew it, so I'm not dismissing your question, but I think you need more time to see how your orientation evolves. But are you really 'in a mess' or are you just someone who needs more time (hex 53) to find and follow where her natural inclination really leads.


61 unchanging may mean 'yes it's true' or 'are you ?'

Anyway don't see yourself as 'messed up', you may just need more time and more experience. Another way to see the 31.6 is that if you haven't had a gay liason yet then it's all talk. You need the experience to find where you are....and if you want that you have to show that's what you want to get it.

Actually your own interpretations of 31.4.6>53 are more or less what I'm saying...except hex 53 is not indicating the future alone but your whole place within this situation. hex 53 really takes time to develop at it's own pace.

Not sure about hex 35 here

 

[kafuka]

How to make gay friends? 1>19

Thank you very much, Trojan. You are absolutely right. It's all just talk so far and I need more time and more experience to find out where I'm at.

About the hex 35, I asked again: How to make gay friends? >>> 1.3.4.5.6>19
(1.2) - I should be genuine and truly myself
(19) – it seems like a favourable time for making friends but I should not try to rush ahead and understand that this is just one step and many more will have to follow.

I read that hex 19 is linked with January/February confused – is it the favourable time?
“Reaching the eighth moon, there's pitfall”. - does it mean that any potentional friendship would come to the end around September then?
Thanky you.:bows: