What to hope for? Hexagram 39.2.5 to 46

[arabella]

On an earlier thread I had explained the lack of communication with someone I had expected to see -- and didn't see -- and the apparent stress and hectic life he is experiencing. As a part of this scenario, I know his wife's estate -- long in being settled -- was settled last week and this is a final step for him in some ways, having to part with many of his wife's possessions I'd imagine, as they will go to his adult children. He doesn't complain; and he doesn't explain either, except for a cryptic message last week asking to see me, which I responded to saying he could of course come for coffee. He didn't reply, and then again there was silence.

This isn't characteristic but neither are the circumstances easy I feel. I've had several strange dreams about him and one of his daughters with an unknown other woman. In this I dream of being invited for dinner, finding them deep in discussion in the driveway and not seeming to see me. So I park the car in the garage and sit there while they all sort out whatever is going on. Then I dreamed of having my children at his home for an event, along with my deceased husband. It all seems natural and goes well, but I couldn't figure out how my spouse got there and why this man would be happy to entertain him.

This morning I received an extremely apologetic email from him, saying he's been in three countries in as many weeks on family business. He has another stop to make this week and then he'll have completed the tour and would like to "reconnect" he says. And I've tried to reassure him and take off any pressure as I'm sure he has enough of that.

I wonder just the same whether this is the turning point I feel it to be in our relationship and what I can expect when he finally lands having finished whatever duties he's had to carry out following three years of grieving and a final legal settlement. We are friends so whatever this amounts to, we will always be friends. I think in the background we've both always thought it would be nice to have more, but with so many intervening emotions and seven children between us whose lives we think about too.....

I asked the Yi "What can I hope for with this man?"

The reply: Hexagram 39.2.5 becoming Hexagram 46

This portrays his situation as I'd expect, limping. It's no doubt been hard for him, and also a relief I would think. And it recognises he doesn't want to be this way -- it's not his choice. Also true.

Does it say anything else?

 

[rosada]

I think 39.5 gives you an idea of the role you should play:

"In the midst of greatest obstructions,
Friends come."

It sounds like the people he will be most welcoming of now are not romantic partners but helpful friends.

46 seems very encouraging for your friendship developing one day at a time:

"The superior man of devoted character
heaps up small things
In order to achieve something high and great."

Over all I think the I Ching is encouraging you that you can realistically hope that as he deals with the necessary steps to rebuild his life you are counted among his friends and that the friendship will strengthen.

Not exactly the most romantic of answers, but perhaps the best course to take as there are so many kids involved. It occurs to me that it maybe easier for them to accept a union later on down the road if they see you two first as long time friends. m2c

-Rosada