Why I don’t feel confortable with those peoples ? 12.1.2.5 > 38

[Amau65]

Hello everyone,

I ask the IC why I don’t feel confortable with my class mate in the University.
I had the following answer : 12.1.2.5 > 38

I don’t really understand this reading

Could someone help me please ? Sorry about my english

 

[Trojina]

It seems a fairly clear reading confirming how and why you don't feel comfortable

Starting with 12, a disconnection, the trigrams heaven and earth don't move towards one another as in 11 they are moving apart. These people don't 'get' you or they don't see you for who you are and so it doesn't feel great. That doesn't mean they don't like you or that they are bad people there's just this disconnect right now and it's not your fault. There is no point in pouring your best self in with 12. You have 38 as relating hexagram and if you make a sentence with the 2 hexagrams you get a simple picture Standstill's Opposition, a picture people just not getting each other or people seeing things in such a different way or having such a different agenda with 38 it's hard to find a real connection. It's common with 12 that one is being seen as a functional being serving another's agenda. That is not being seen as who you really are but what use you are or who you are to them. It's a bit like when you stereotype someone you kind of write them off as whole people. We all do this and often it serves a function, we can't see everyone we encounter in the whole fullness being, the cashier at the petrol station is only the guy to take my money, the driver in the car behind is only another car driver. However if one wants more of a personal connection, being seen and understood as who one really is 12 doesn't feel great. The advice is not to keep striving for connection if it's not there.


The lines expand on the particular situation

Line 1
'Pulling up thatch grass, roots entangled,
With more of its kind.
Constancy, good fortune. Creating success.'

Line 2
'Enwrapping and containing the charge.
Small people, good fortune.
Great people, obstructed. Creating success.'

Line 5
'Resting in obstruction.
Great person, good fortune.
It is lost, it is lost!
Tie it to the bushy mulberry tree.'

It's quite in interesting story within this picture of unease/lack of connection though. This feeling you have isn't probably something you never felt before in other situations? This situation reminds you of other situations like it when you felt uncomfortable with people. Whilst you are in a 12 situation there are changes happening within it. It's making you think, making you look deeper(line 1) and it may be within this situation that feels awkward you connect to others who feel the same way.

Line 2 basically says if you keep small and pliable it's fine but if you try to enact your own agenda in this group you'll feel obstructed. By 'small person' this means someone accepting other's agenda, following. The great person is the part of you who decides their own path. Sometimes it actually works better to be the small person, for example in a medical examination we offer up our bodies for inspection we don't impose our agenda and to the Drs we are bodies rather than people and that's fine. If you start a new job in a supermarket you probably would be better off being the small person, they won't want to hear your views on the meaning of your life. But this is a friendship group and so you'd hope you could be your Great Person wouldn't you and be able to share your hopes and dreams and so on and say what you really blieve and have them listen to you and be interested in you. However you're better in this situation being the guy who says 'okay we'll do what you want', the one in the group who goes along with things.

But actually you don't have to be that. You don't have to accept their agenda, you are free to find people and places that fit you better. Sometimes it can suit us to be a lesser player in the social scene, sometimes it just seems to work better to 'tag along'. Thinking of teenage socialising we probably all make a choice at some stage to either stay on the periphery of a group because at least it means we get to go places or we decide we don't want that and we go a different social route or not. This line gives you options. If you want to be fully you and accepted this isn't a fulfilling group to be in. If you just want to be in the group because it's more fun it may be worth accepting they don't really get you but you'll go along with things for the sake of doing xyz with them.

In line 5 there seems a breakthrough of some kind, a change. The great person in you makes a step forward tentatively. Maybe you decide you don't care if you lose these people and you head off elsewhere or things just start to change in the group.

38, the place you're asking from suggests you really have a very different outlook to the group. There's fundamental differences in expectations or purposes. The advice for 38 is you can't overcome such differences but you can maintain good relationships if they don't go too deep. Strangers can get on very well when they don't discuss their massive political differences but do share a joke. Humour is often evident in the differences of perspectives, I think humour is very 38 when jokes shows 2 very different perspectives meeting unexpectedly. Also there's a certain liveliness to 38 connections at times.

Changes patterns are 60 and 56. Is this a group you only need to connect to for a while? If so don't take it too deep with them, they won't get you but you can have get along to a degree and have a laugh maybe. I don't think you have to expect long term bonds with these people though, I'd think you'd be moving on.


After all that I realise the question was about 1 person not a group but hopefully what I have written is just as easy to apply to an individual except perhaps I'd see more chance of a breakthrough to understanding one another with line 5.

 

[redoleander]

why I don’t feel confortable with my class mate in the University?
12.1.2.5 > 38

12.1 Everyone else seems to be naturally linked and networked and you're observing that from the outside. I wonder though if this is also signaling that, yes, people are connected but it's more complex than it looks. Not everyone is as comfortable as they seem. However, from the outside, the seem to all be together and naturally fitting as one unit.

12.2 Because of this, you don't have a lot of say in how things go. Your greatest ambitions for what a group experience would be like can't quite be realized here. You might need to aim for small connections, more superficial interaction, or following the lead of how others do things (their social norms, more than your own) until something shifts in the situation or you find another setting that allows more freedom for you.

12.5 Maybe you push too hard sometimes, to counter this frustration? Or are struggling to accept? I think this might mean that by relaxing and expecting nothing to change on the outside, you gain an opportunity to be with your own feelings and thoughts, to gain strength through surrender. By not trying to change anything or anyone, a way opens. What exactly it will be, who knows. But the wall you see before you isn't as firm as it looks. It will take a new shape eventually, even if only through a major shift in your own perception. Just don't bang your head against the wall in the meantime. There's nothing wrong with feeling different. It's as valid an experience as anything else.

12 > 38 You're locked into seeing only difference, or perhaps they are too, and so for now seek small gains, more minor interactions. Seek common ground, even if it's the tiniest crumb of something you can agree on. Or even agree to disagree! Perhaps the perceived opposition is creating a bigger block than need be? Choose curiosity over taking things personally and see what you find.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello,

12 is blockage, not interacting; and 38 is alienation. This is simple: because you don't feel like having anything common with them.

They are entangled (12.1), you don't share this connection with them, though (12.2). Anyway, "this too shall pass" (12.5).

 

[Amau65]

Thank you for your answers. It is pretty accurate, I just feel so different to them even if they are friendly people. I’m leaving in two week and I just wanted to understand why I couldn’t create a stronger link… asking myself if it was on me or if it is just the normal way. Sorry again about my english.

Amau

 

[Amau65]

After all that I realise the question was about 1 person not a group but hopefully what I have written is just as easy to apply to an individual except perhaps I'd see more chance of a breakthrough to understanding one another with line 5.

It is about 2 class mates. Friendly peoples but differents.