Why is so hard to let go of someone you love?

[precision grace]

omg you two! Arabella, Lavalamp talks to you because you talk to him. And both of you are talking because the topic seems to touch on a sore spot within you both. Notice how nobody else feels a need to comment? Or maybe they are put off by the dueling...

If I didn't know better I'd tell you to get a room

 

[arabella]

omg you two! Arabella, Lavalamp talks to you because you talk to him. And both of you are talking because the topic seems to touch on a sore spot within you both. Notice how nobody else feels a need to comment? Or maybe they are put off by the dueling...

If I didn't know better I'd tell you to get a room

Appreciate your attempts at quelling the situation PG -- it is thoroughly ridiculous and unfounded, as I've said over and over again. But I'd like to refer you back to the beginning of each of these threads where I've made my comments -- only to be attacked quite personally by this guy. And then attempted to explain and explain and explain why his assumptions are bogus. I shouldn't have to explain anything. My comments should stand. And, as you say no one else feels required to tear them apart. Why does this man?

Others on the forum have written privately to say they find this appalling. So do I. It would be nice to make my comments and be left alone. Why is that impossible?

 

[precision grace]

Hm. I don't think he is attacking you personally. He may be, I just never saw it that way. He has his personal agenda, you have yours and they are clashing. If you decide not to feel persecuted, the persecution will disappear - puff. :hugs:

 

[arabella]

I've posted regularly on Clarity for a couple years now and never been taken to task, time and time again, by anyone until now. This is a one-off. A disturbing one-off. And the first time that others here have PMd saying -- what is his issue with you anyway? I don't know. Do you know?

 

[precision grace]

heh. no idea. you may have noticed I had a similar experience but then it went your way haha um I mean thank you. I think Lavalamp is just trying to work through some personal issues (albeit unconsciously) He probably thinks he is engaging in a useful discussion. Also he is a man. They haven't been known to admit to being wrong in my experience to date and you seem to continue to engage him in dialogue with an expectation that he should do so. One of you will get bored of it all eventually.

 

[arabella]

Yes, it's one of those "live and hope" situations. Like, "if I just keep working on this sow's ear I just KNOW it will become a silk purse any minute now." As you say, expecting to make sense in this scenario is like expecting a man to make one of the hated concessions to logic and practicality -- like asking for directions. Hexagram 51 Unchanging.

 

[Lavalamp]

Well I know why this issue triggers me, and I think I was fairly candid in explaining why.

But I guess sometimes it is hard to "let go", isn't it?

Not that it's in any way personal...

- LL

:bows:

 

[Trojina]

omg you two! Arabella, Lavalamp talks to you because you talk to him. And both of you are talking because the topic seems to touch on a sore spot within you both. Notice how nobody else feels a need to comment? Or maybe they are put off by the dueling...

If I didn't know better I'd tell you to get a room

Wrong ! I have felt the need to comment often. Lavalamp borders on harrassment actually in a polite relentless kind of way Hes not exactly rude but he keeps putting words into peoples mouths to make out that they are making generalised statements about life when they are actually talking about a reading...and he kind of keeps on and on at Abella so even if I agree with aspects of what he says I don't much like what hes doing in these threads.


No doubt this comment should go in moderation...though I personally can't be bothered with that and don't feel hugely hostile or anything....I just am getting tired of LL shoving his view down peoples throats. This post can be moved to moderation if necessary but I'm not sure theres much point.


if this is moved it may as well go on the end of the existing moderation thread re LL and Abella....and partly me here http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14394

 

[arabella]

Well I know why this issue triggers me, and I think I was fairly candid in explaining why.

But I guess sometimes it is hard to "let go", isn't it?

Not that it's in any way personal...

- LL

:bows:

Well, if you know an issue triggers you, don't land that on other people who are trying to give an interpretation of the Yi from their experience and point of view. It's up to the querent to decide what resonates and what doesn't -- not to you. Just be aware that you are overly sensitised in the discussion and figure that out somewhere else. This forum isn't the place.

 

[precision grace]

Ladies! Instead of being contentious, you could try and help Lavalamp learn an essential skill - that of talking to women. He has no idea how to do it and it totally weirds him out to even think that he may have to change how he presents himself in order to accommodate the other party. Do we need a Communication Skills thread or even forum? what hexagram describes this best?

 

[Lavalamp]

Trojan, are you a Brit? You sound so Mancunian to me. At least in attitude. You take offense where none is intended, I think largely because you have differing cultural assumptions. But I do apologize for the tenacity of my remarks, I promise I'm not trying to get your goat as most Brits would simply assume I think, nor am I playing the Mickey with you. Just stubborn, pretty much....

You should consider I'm an American, and our countries separated by the common language.
Moreover I am originally from the Pacific Rim, in between East and West, where the culture is so different than your own that the only racial reference that is considered an insult is to call someone "White." Every other racial reference/slang is considered non-offensive, but people think white people are "cold." Which I only say to point out it's a big world, with many people in it, and not everyone is going to see things as you - or I - do. Hey, I'm half Irish myself.

- LL

 

[precision grace]

Oh God. *runs and hides in a nuclear proof bunker*

 

[Lavalamp]

 

[arabella]

Ladies! Instead of being contentious, you could try and help Lavalamp learn an essential skill - that of talking to women. He has no idea how to do it and it totally weirds him out to even think that he may have to change how he presents himself in order to accommodate the other party. Do we need a Communication Skills thread or even forum? what hexagram describes this best?

You expect an awful lot from a Yi forum. How did THAT get to anybody else's job? Surely that honour belonged to his Mother.

Oh good grief, case in point in LL's latest post -- what on EARTH does Trojan's nationality have to do with anything? Talk about utter inflexibility! According to these assumptions, having lived all over the world and being a "mutt" of several nationalities, I shouldn't be able to speak to anybody by now and should find everything affronting! What kind of reasoning is this? Aaaaah. Impossible.

 

[Lavalamp]

 

[Trojina]

Trojan, are you a Brit? You sound so Mancunian to me. At least in attitude. You take offense where none is intended, I think largely because you have differing cultural assumptions. But I do apologize for the tenacity of my remarks, I promise I'm not trying to get your goat as most Brits would simply assume I think, nor am I playing the Mickey with you. Just stubborn, pretty much....

You should consider I'm an American, and our countries separated by the common language.
Moreover I am originally from the Pacific Rim, in between East and West, where the culture is so different than your own that the only racial reference that is considered an insult is to call someone "White." Every other racial reference/slang is considered non-offensive, but people think white people are "cold." Which I only say to point out it's a big world, with many people in it, and not everyone is going to see things as you - or I - do. Hey, I'm half Irish myself.

- LL

Yes I am British, well half British half Ukrainian bought up in a British home with a Ukrainian dad ....not mancunian...but the thing is I don't take offence at what you say as its not insulting exactly....its more like a kind of brainwashing I see you as attempting...brainwashing with Wilhelm ...brainwashing with your view of correct relationships for women and men, so I don't think theres an American/Anglo prob going on here...and afterall Abella is American...its just in this section if someone gives another view of a reading to your own you seem to persist in attempting to convert them to your view. Whereas infact your view is often more or less Wilhelm and their view is just.... much broader....and I say that in the nicest possible way

You aren't getting my goat a great deal, and as I say I can often agree with you in many respects......but I do perceive you to be attempting a little brainwashing...and I did want to contradict PG when she said others weren't commenting so there must be no problem. Thats never the case PG...

"what the majority do is no guide to anything anytime anywhere." Trojan 2012

Infact I may have that engraved on my tombstone

I don't want to make a big deal of it I just didn't agree with PG, I felt you were sort of continually putting words in Abellas and others mouth and no its not offensive exactly but I could see how she may begin to feel somewhat worn down

 

[precision grace]

Um. How many times are you planning on pointing out that you did want to comment after all? I hereby notify the town that I have been made aware that the problem indeed exists and that taking silence for the lack of interest was an error in judgment on my part. Happy now?

 

[Trojina]

Ladies! Instead of being contentious, you could try and help Lavalamp learn an essential skill - that of talking to women. He has no idea how to do it and it totally weirds him out to even think that he may have to change how he presents himself in order to accommodate the other party. Do we need a Communication Skills thread or even forum? what hexagram describes this best?

LOL thats beyond my remit for sure I don't see women as a homogeneous group...there is no one way of talking to 'us' is there, we aren't like a seperate species.

 

[arabella]

Attempted conversion and brainwashing. This is a good description. This is the feeling. "My way or the highway." And yet -- the diversity of views on here is the strength of Clarity. So really antithetical to everything that normally goes on. And this is the worst drawback of all. This kind of thing stops all progress, inhibits people from speaking for fear they get landed on by some guy with an incontrovertible opinion that they are "WRONG" or less than intelligent and must be brought over from the dark side to his point of view. Wearing, yes. Exhausting in fact. I need a holiday after this. There is no emoticon for exhaustion, so use your imagination how that would look.

 

[pocossin]

there is no emoticon for exhaustion, so use your imagination how that would look.

The name of hexagram 47:

困

 

[Lavalamp]

Conversion and brainwashing! You say that Arabella, as if I somehow possess charm, powers and graces that you somehow lack, And as it should be self evident by now, I most assuredly do not - you are much more charming than I, obviously....

 

[arabella]

I've thought about this situation overnight. I think that the internet invites interchanges which are not in the least productive or healthy because of not seeing, never meeting nor really knowing, the person addressed -- let alone the length and breadth of their lives. That potentially leads to flippancy and disrespect, misperceptions and misunderstandings, of all sorts. I think it is critical that what is posted on here is taken at face value and with an elevated sense of respect for the single-dimension connection we all have. Disassociated from the individual, perceived from whatever basis the reader may have for perception -- inaccurate or accurate -- what is said here is of the value that you may make of it. And that reflects more on any critic than on the one critcised.

In light of that, there is no purpose in discussions like these. The best that anyone can do is to allow others to speak and be heard. If something is said outside the principles of the forum, that is addressed by the moderators. Few, if any, are experts in the wide range of information that is brought to bear. Certainly none of us is expert on someone else's life experience. And life experience is something that one imparts with trust and not with the expectation of being assailed by someone with a different experience.

We all address the Yi Ching; as well as science, religion, philosophy, the Arts and advanced information, from the best we know. Criticisms and outright disagreements on opinions in these areas are pointless and damaging to the purpose of the gathering.

Anyone else who cares to continue with this can do it. I have no more to say. Except that, Lavalamp, if you come at me with such a condesending and omniscent tone in future, please be aware that I will ignore you since there is no answer for someone who wants to launch blindside attacks on strangers who were not even addressing them.

 

[precision grace]

Trojan, are you a Brit? You sound so Mancunian to me. At least in attitude. You take offense where none is intended, I think largely because you have differing cultural assumptions. But I do apologize for the tenacity of my remarks, I promise I'm not trying to get your goat as most Brits would simply assume I think, nor am I playing the Mickey with you. Just stubborn, pretty much....

You should consider I'm an American, and our countries separated by the common language.
Moreover I am originally from the Pacific Rim, in between East and West, where the culture is so different than your own that the only racial reference that is considered an insult is to call someone "White." Every other racial reference/slang is considered non-offensive, but people think white people are "cold." Which I only say to point out it's a big world, with many people in it, and not everyone is going to see things as you - or I - do. Hey, I'm half Irish myself.

- LL

The expression is "taking the Mickey" although Trojan might prefer another version of this saying at the moment http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taking_the_piss

Pacific Rim you say? Do you hail from one of those islands where everyone is really fit? (btw, that means good looking) Was speaking to a lady from work that comes from over that way and was amazed to learn that where she comes from each island has their own language and they are not even similar. That sort of really sent my mind reeling. To live so close and yet develop completely different languages and so many of them. Something about that scenario sort of resonates here..

 

[Lavalamp]

Well the real irony PG, this is the thread that asks the question, "Why is it so hard to let go....?"

lol..

 

[meganj]

Oh wow you guys are still going at it!? lol